Rosario Dawson lost her $5,000 purse at a Cannes party and did what any woman would do. Went crazy until a bunch of guys got down on their hands and knees and looked for it. Having t*ts sounds nice.

Guests including Leonardo DiCaprio and Will.i.am were on their hands and knees frantically searching, too.

“The party was thrown into turmoil, security had to be called,” a source revealed to Britain’s Daily Mirror newspaper.

“Rosario was going crazy as the wallet contained a load of money as well as sentimental items. She was really upset.”

Honestly, I would have done the same thing if I was at the party. But while everyone else was looking for the purse, I’d be looking up her dress. Because she’s hot and I’m a pervert.

Rosario Dawson was also in Cannes yesterday where a photog took pictures up her skirt as she got into a car. The end.

The Independent Spirit Awards held on Saturday looked like a lot of fun. Especially if your name is Paul Rudd because not only are you extremely funny, but you get to be in a Rosario Dawson and Eva Mendes sandwich where you feel up Eva’s breasts (scripted) and have Rosario grab your dick (unscripted).

“I’m a women’s rights activist and I was getting a little tired that he was grabbing her boob onstage for half an hour,” Dawson, 31, told Access Hollywood. “Nothing bad, but it was funny.”

To teach the 41-year-old How Do You Know actor a lesson, Dawson jumped on stage and took hold of Rudd’s genitals.

“I was sitting there with my fork like, ‘If he doesn’t stop, I’m going to stab him with my fork,’” the Unstoppable star explained. “So I got up there and I stabbed him with my fork, and he didn’t stop, so I was like, alright, I’m going to grab his package.”

The audience members weren’t the only ones stunned by Dawson’s frisky behavior. “Eva kept laughing nervously and Paul seemed totally not into the joke,” an onlooker tells UsMagazine.com

Still, Dawson told Access Hollywood she has no regrets about the unscripted moment.

“It wasn’t bad. It was actually a pretty good package,” Dawson laughed. “I’ve kind of been curious since I was a teenager watching Clueless. Women should get to cop a feel, too.”

Did I just read “Paul seemed totally not into the joke”? Coughgaycough. Granted, having to be up there trying to hide your boner all night might be a little embarrassing.

FHM may have Diora Baird, Kelly Brook and — defeated sigh — Olivia Munn, but GQ Germany has Rosario Dawson. Hopefully the pictorial was a declaration of war on FHM. Because that would be fantastic. Especially since this war will be fought with sexy photo spreads of women instead of scary guns.

I like it when stacked girls such as Rosario Dawson don’t wear bras. Especially when they jump up and down. It brings joy to the world much like a baby’s laughter. I heard somewhere that when pretty girls do that, jumping up and down bra-less, an angel gets their wings. Probably from the Bible.

Every year Spike TV holds its annual Scream Awards to celebrate hot chicks in horror movies. At least I think that’s what it’s all about. Look, I just know that through all these pictures, I’ve only seen two guys, Anthony Hopkins and that guy from American Pie. Sure, I could have dug a little deeper and maybe checked around a few sites to see what it was actually all about, but that would have taken time away from me making out with this 8×11 black and white printout of Kate Beckinsale. A lot more photos after the jump.

Kate Beckinsale

Kristen Bell

Alex Vega

Amanda Righetti

AnnaLynne McCord

Carla Gugino

Jamie King

Liv Tyler

Milla Jovovich

Paz Vega

Rosario Dawson

Winona Ryder

Malin Ackerman

Julie Benz

Rosario Dawson spent last Friday giving me a huge boner and giving that kid next to her early onset puberty. Reports say she’s currently still in Italy showering herself off in slow motion, shaking her wet hair around and gently rubbing her tits with water despite no sand being anywhere in the vicinity. God bless you Rosario.

Rosario Dawson and Rose McGowan naked and draped in ammo on the cover of Rolling Stone would be pretty hot if I didn’t know what Rose McGowan really looked like. Either way, I’d still stick it to them. Trust me ladies, I’m not shooting blanks. Heh. I’m so funny. Bah, shut up and just click the banner for a bigger picture.

In the Rolling Stone interview, Quentin Tarantino extols the key selling points of “Grindhouse”.

“When we started talking about the movie, Quentin said, ‘There should always be a lesbian kiss just around the corner — possibly.’ I took that to heart, and in my very first scene, I have two female tongues going at each other and licking. You find out it’s Rose licking a mirror, but it gets across the idea that it could be around the corner at any time.”

And also,

“The way Rose says ‘cocksucker’ is really great,” says Tarantino. “It’s the way she emphasizes the c-k. She’ll screw up a line and say, ‘Aw, fucking cocksucker!’ Robert told me once, ‘Rose said the greatest Quentin line the other day. She was talking about how she doesn’t like the word “whore,” and she said, “You can call me a cunt till the cows come home, but don’t call me a whore!”‘ …

I changed my mind. Rose McGowan is all class, baby.

• Girl-on-Girl Action [Rolling Stone]

Since I was already there, I decided to stay for Grindhouse too. I knew Robert Rodriguez was going to be there, but Quentin Tarantino also showed up. Once again, they showed another insanely kick ass teaser. They brought out a whole slew of women from the movie. Rosario Dawson, Zoe Bell and Rose McGowan to name a few. I completely forgot the other names and I have pictures, but since my camera is so old that someone has to stay still for 5 minutes, they’re blurry. Quentin told everyone that Kurt Russel has been signed to play Stuntman Mike and he initially wanted the movie to come out in December, but had to delay it till April. Other than that, Quentin was really enthusiastic about the whole movie which helped sell it some more. He claimed that this isn’t just some slapped together two directors working together on short films to be combined later movie. It’s actually two movies for the price of one played back to back with their own exploitation trailers. Here’s my description of the teaser for Planet Terror, which is Robert Rodriguez’s part. Quentin didn’t start his yet because he’s a lazy bastard or it hadn’t been scheduled yet or something.

The film itself looks like old used and scratched footage. The soundtrack was great for the teaser. It starts out with one of the sheriffs walking into the sheriffs office bleeding. He tells the other two sheriffs that some guy he arrested bit his finger off. The guy actually bit his finger off. The other two sheriffs go outside with shotguns to the squad car to find the window busted and the prisoner gone. Meanwhile, another prisoner, Freddy Rodríguez who plays Wray, comes out to take a look. He eyes the guns on the rack while the sheriffs are looking for the escaped prisoner. The maimed sheriff then asks his buddy if he found his finger. Buddy says no, but did find his ring. This is where I don’t remember what happens after.

Later on they introduce Danny Trejo, the bad ass mexican guy who always has the ‘stache. They say his name is slash? because when he opens up his trench coat, it’s wall to wall machetes. About 20 or so. I can only assume he likes to cut people. My memory gets hazy again, but he rides his bike and at some point, he finds a chain gun and magically attatches it to his bike. I think there’s a lot of shooting after that.

Then they cut to Freddy Rodriguez’s character Wray and also Rose McGowan’s character Cherry. You hear Cherry in a hospital bitching and moaning about something. She then shouts whatever the hell women shout when they lose a leg. She pulls back the hospital bed sheets to reveal an amputated leg. Wray doesn’t really want to hear her whine like a woman anymore so he knocks a leg off a nearby table and sticks it into her amputated stump and tells her to walk out. When they’re walking out of the hospital, he starts killing people because they’re re-animated or he’s anti-social. Anyway, he busts out some insane moves involving climbing up a wall and flipping over a guy then stabbing him with two knives. He fights some more then at one point or another, he finds a Colt Carbine assault rifle (I think, I believe it also has a grenade launcher) and assimilates it with Rose McGowan’s amputed leg. So if you’re not following. At this point Rose McGowan has an assault rifle as her peg leg. Then she somehow ends up faced backwards on the bike of Danny Trejo’s character while shooting her leg and launching a grenade.

At this point, I’m thinking I just experienced my first orgasm and that was just Rodriguez’s half. He tells people that that was only one week’s worth of shooting.

Note: I stole all these posters from Joblo.com again because for the life of me, I could not find these posters anywhere and any pictures I took of the cast just sucked. I have no idea how I missed the posters even though I saw the Grindhouse booth.

2nd Note: He also made fun of Harry Knowles from AICN. Awesome.