Rose McGowan hit the gym yesterday and she looked great. Her body did anyway. Her lips look like they were injected with fix-a-flat by Oneal Ron Morris.

That workout outfit is insanely tight by the way. How do girls get into those things. Do they just take a a deep breath, say a prayer and hope they don’t get stuck halfway in?

Everything wasn’t always coming up roses for Rose McGowan. See what I did there? The Conan the Barbarian star sat down with PEOPLE and talked about how she and her father had to escape a sex cult when she was nine.

As the story goes, she spent her childhood in the Children of God cult, a “polygamous cult that blended free-love attitudes with Christian proselytizing.” She spent her days angry and terrified. Rose recounted one time when they sliced a wart off her thumb without warning because imperfections were a sin.

“You weren’t allowed to have imperfections,” she explained. “I had a little wart on my thumb, and I remember walking down this hallway — a door opened and some adult grabbed me and just cut it off with a razor blade and stuck me back out in the hallway with it still bleeding.” — Yahoo

Not even a lollipop or an offer to sit on an older gentleman’s lap to be comforted? This is terrible. But not as terrible as they treated their women who were but sex slaves to the men.

“At a very early age I decided I did not want to be like those women. They were basically there to serve the men sexually — you were allowed to have more than one wife.” The cult’s women would sometimes travel to area bars to try to recruit, an act known as “flirty fishing.” — Yahoo

I’m assuming flirty fishing isn’t recreational and you don’t throw your catch back in the water. Unless they have an std or something.

Anyway, Rose McGowan’s dad realized he had to escape when he was “asked to draw cartoon literature that advocated child-adult sexual relationships.”

Soon after, Rose, her father, and some siblings left the cult in the middle of the night. They hid in a stone house, and avoided the cult members who came looking for them. “I remember a man trying to break in with a hammer,” McGowan said. The Children of God sect has since been renamed The Family International and has “renounced its advocacy of sexual sharing” and adult-minor sexual relationships. — Yahoo

Maybe the cartoon was just for art and not part of a propaganda piece they were planning to give to parents in order to convince them that turning their kids into child sex slaves was what God wanted. I’m just saying, maybe Rose’s dad should have stayed a little longer to see how this played out. My grandpa once told me you shouldn’t throw away brainwashed sex slaves just because of a hint of child molestation. We’re not barbarians. Let’s talk things out.

Regardless, what’s done is done and she lives a much happier life. Today she’s close with her siblings and she and her father worked on their relationship after leaving the cult. He died in 2008 as a result of pulmonary fibrosis. Meanwhile, the Children of God cult is now named The Family International and has since “renounced its advocacy of sexual sharing.” By the way, that’s just code for, “we like to keep it on the DL.”

Rose McGowan has called off her engagement to Robert Rodriguez. The two met in 2006 on the set of Grindhouse and announced their engagement in 2007. McGowan was thought of as a home wrecker at the time as many believed Rodriguez left his wife of 16 years for her. Rodriguez claims he and his wife separated long before.

Most recently, Rodriguez wrapped shooting for Machete starring Rose McGowan and co-starring Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba and Robert De Niro. Rodriguez well next produce Red Sonja, also starring Rose McGowan.

Do you see a pattern here? Now that she and Rodriguez are separated, expect Rose’s next big appearance to be in VH1′s Charmed: Where Are They Now?

While filming Robert Rodriguez’s Red Sonja in which she does her own stunts, Rose McGowan suffered a serious injury which halted production and now requires six more months of rehabilitation. Darn. I was looking forward to… what was the name of that movie again?

“I had wrist and elbow surgery and they took part of my elbow out. I had really bad nerve damage from doing stunts – I do a lot of my own stunts,” McGowan recently told Tarts. “I could no longer use my arm, but now I can hold a fork and drive so we’re working our way up. It’ll probably be another six months of rehab, but It’s the price you pay for being really limber and being able to do back flips!”

Thankfully, no one has ever said “that girl gives good elbow” so that surgery shouldn’t have too much of a negative effect.

Rose McGowan was at Comic-Con doing press with Robert Rodriguez for the upcoming Red Sonja movie when Rose decided to squat and take a picture of a guy dressed as a Storm Trooper or something. No photogs got an upskirt. If this was me, I’d be diving in there head first like I was sliding into home. It’d happen so fast, the only thing people would hear would be the click, click, click of my camera and the sound of my feet hitting the pavement as I ran away before security could take me down.

[Comic-Con image via Splash News]

Red Sonja one-sheets for those curious.

Robert Rodriguez, director of Grindhouse, Sin City and From Dusk Till Dawn, was married to and had five kids with Elizabeth Avellan. During the filming of Grindhouse in 2006, he met Rose McGowan and began an affair. Elizabeth eventually found out and Robert had to stop production for a month to recover.

Rodriguez and McGowan made their first public appearance at Cannes. He later began pushing studios to cast her as the lead in at least three of his next movies, a remake of Barbarella, Red Sonja and Woman in Chains. They were even rumored to be engaged last year. Life was looking up for Rose, until today.

Page Six reports that the two have broken up and Rose is no longer being considered as the lead for any of those movies. Especially the $70 million Barbarella remake. The studio, once worried that Rose McGowan didn’t have enough box-office drawing power, are now considering Jessica Alba for the titular character.

Although it’s hard to see Jessica Alba as any kind of feminine hero even in a campy 60′s remake, this is probably the best decision Hollywood has ever made because as Wikipedia says: Barbarella is a 1968 erotic sci-fi film. Also, this (I’ve highlighted the important parts),

Barbarella is famous for a sequence in which the title character, played by Jane Fonda, undresses in zero gravity during the opening credits.

The whole film is played in a tongue-in-cheek manner—especially when it comes to the frequent (but non-explicit) sex scenes. The most controversial of those scenes involves Barbarella being “tortured” by use of a machine that gives sexual pleasure in doses that can be lethal.

Finally, Hollywood might do something right for once by covering up Jessica Alba’s stoic acting with sexual torture. If something like this happened during The Eye, I would’ve cried more. Because that’s what guys do when they masturbate. Clip of the machine up above.

Rose McGowan is in Venice Magazine demonstrating that with a little bit of airbrushing, anything is possible. I asked the guys that airbrushed Rose if they could airbrush a picture of me. They looked at the photo for a second and told me nothing could be done because I was already perfect. True story. What? Fine, don’t believe me. I’ll be perfect all by myself.

Rosario Dawson and Rose McGowan naked and draped in ammo on the cover of Rolling Stone would be pretty hot if I didn’t know what Rose McGowan really looked like. Either way, I’d still stick it to them. Trust me ladies, I’m not shooting blanks. Heh. I’m so funny. Bah, shut up and just click the banner for a bigger picture.

In the Rolling Stone interview, Quentin Tarantino extols the key selling points of “Grindhouse”.

“When we started talking about the movie, Quentin said, ‘There should always be a lesbian kiss just around the corner — possibly.’ I took that to heart, and in my very first scene, I have two female tongues going at each other and licking. You find out it’s Rose licking a mirror, but it gets across the idea that it could be around the corner at any time.”

And also,

“The way Rose says ‘cocksucker’ is really great,” says Tarantino. “It’s the way she emphasizes the c-k. She’ll screw up a line and say, ‘Aw, fucking cocksucker!’ Robert told me once, ‘Rose said the greatest Quentin line the other day. She was talking about how she doesn’t like the word “whore,” and she said, “You can call me a cunt till the cows come home, but don’t call me a whore!”‘ …

I changed my mind. Rose McGowan is all class, baby.

• Girl-on-Girl Action [Rolling Stone]

Filming for “Grindhouse” went on hiatus for a month last year because Robert Rodriguez’s wife Elizabeth Avellan found out about his affair with Rose McGowan. Elizabeth and Robert have 5 children from their 16 year marriage and Elizabeth is even co-producer on most of his films including “Grindhouse”. A source describes Avellan’s reaction as an “emotional volcano” (sounds hot).

“It was the worst-kept secret on the set. They were going off to his trailer, having meals together. Rose thought some of the crew were treating her differently, and the attitude was, like, well what do you expect when you’re [bleeping] the director?”

The whole point of being a director is to boink the hottest actress on set. Most of my leading ladies will agree, me ravaging them like a lion on crack is a perk. Once in a while though, I like to actually pretend I’m a lion and bite them behind the thigh and drag them to the ground. Rawr.

Before the night began, Rose McGowan thought to herself, “What would Jesus wear?” The answer was simple. A sheer green shirt sans bra to proudly display her nipples on a chilly night. Jesus always had a flair for fashion. Underneath that drab white robe, he’s wearing fluorescent spandex topped with a rhinestone jacket with “Party Animal” embroidered on the back. It’s true. I saw it when he hit on me.

Since I was already there, I decided to stay for Grindhouse too. I knew Robert Rodriguez was going to be there, but Quentin Tarantino also showed up. Once again, they showed another insanely kick ass teaser. They brought out a whole slew of women from the movie. Rosario Dawson, Zoe Bell and Rose McGowan to name a few. I completely forgot the other names and I have pictures, but since my camera is so old that someone has to stay still for 5 minutes, they’re blurry. Quentin told everyone that Kurt Russel has been signed to play Stuntman Mike and he initially wanted the movie to come out in December, but had to delay it till April. Other than that, Quentin was really enthusiastic about the whole movie which helped sell it some more. He claimed that this isn’t just some slapped together two directors working together on short films to be combined later movie. It’s actually two movies for the price of one played back to back with their own exploitation trailers. Here’s my description of the teaser for Planet Terror, which is Robert Rodriguez’s part. Quentin didn’t start his yet because he’s a lazy bastard or it hadn’t been scheduled yet or something.

The film itself looks like old used and scratched footage. The soundtrack was great for the teaser. It starts out with one of the sheriffs walking into the sheriffs office bleeding. He tells the other two sheriffs that some guy he arrested bit his finger off. The guy actually bit his finger off. The other two sheriffs go outside with shotguns to the squad car to find the window busted and the prisoner gone. Meanwhile, another prisoner, Freddy Rodríguez who plays Wray, comes out to take a look. He eyes the guns on the rack while the sheriffs are looking for the escaped prisoner. The maimed sheriff then asks his buddy if he found his finger. Buddy says no, but did find his ring. This is where I don’t remember what happens after.

Later on they introduce Danny Trejo, the bad ass mexican guy who always has the ‘stache. They say his name is slash? because when he opens up his trench coat, it’s wall to wall machetes. About 20 or so. I can only assume he likes to cut people. My memory gets hazy again, but he rides his bike and at some point, he finds a chain gun and magically attatches it to his bike. I think there’s a lot of shooting after that.

Then they cut to Freddy Rodriguez’s character Wray and also Rose McGowan’s character Cherry. You hear Cherry in a hospital bitching and moaning about something. She then shouts whatever the hell women shout when they lose a leg. She pulls back the hospital bed sheets to reveal an amputated leg. Wray doesn’t really want to hear her whine like a woman anymore so he knocks a leg off a nearby table and sticks it into her amputated stump and tells her to walk out. When they’re walking out of the hospital, he starts killing people because they’re re-animated or he’s anti-social. Anyway, he busts out some insane moves involving climbing up a wall and flipping over a guy then stabbing him with two knives. He fights some more then at one point or another, he finds a Colt Carbine assault rifle (I think, I believe it also has a grenade launcher) and assimilates it with Rose McGowan’s amputed leg. So if you’re not following. At this point Rose McGowan has an assault rifle as her peg leg. Then she somehow ends up faced backwards on the bike of Danny Trejo’s character while shooting her leg and launching a grenade.

At this point, I’m thinking I just experienced my first orgasm and that was just Rodriguez’s half. He tells people that that was only one week’s worth of shooting.

Note: I stole all these posters from Joblo.com again because for the life of me, I could not find these posters anywhere and any pictures I took of the cast just sucked. I have no idea how I missed the posters even though I saw the Grindhouse booth.

2nd Note: He also made fun of Harry Knowles from AICN. Awesome.