A birth certificate obtained by TMZ shows Alexis Knapp already gave her kid Ryan Phillippe’s last name even though they haven’t done a paternity test yet. Her daughter is now named Kailani Phillippe-Knapp.

Ryan promised to pay child support if the kid is his and is still waiting for test results but now that his name is on the birth certificate, it’s a foregone conclusion.

This girl isn’t even 1 and she already has daddy issues. I’m just going to mark 2029 as the day her sex tape comes out. Just call me Nostradamus.

E! reports that Ryan Phillippe, 36, is dating Demi Lovato, 18, and has been for two months. Although the source says things have cooled off since his daughter was born. Ugh, kids are such a buzzkill.

“It was really hot and heavy for a while,” says a source close to the casual couple, adding that Lovato didn’t know for sure that Phillippe was going to be a father again “until it basically happened. It kind of threw her for a loop.”

But the reason for slowing things down with the former Mr. Reese Witherspoon wasn’t all about the new baby, but also about Lovato’s baby of her own. The promotion of her new single “Skyscraper” and video, which premiered last week on E! News, has been consuming most of her attention in the last few weeks.

However, another source tells Celebuzz the rumors are not true and Ryan is “totally single.” Oh, whatever. Sounds like a jealous girlfriend. Ryan Phillippe considers himself totally single even when he’s banging three girls at once.

Ryan Phillippe became a dad for the third time last Friday when his ex-girlfriend Alexis Knapp gave birth to a baby girl. Sources say Ryan plans to take a paternity test to see if the kid is really his.

Explains the source of Phillippe’s presence during the birth: “He is a good father, and whether this is his baby or not, he wants to do the right thing and be supportive.”

As for So Undercover actress Knapp, “she has never asked Ryan for any help, nor does she expect it,” her rep told Us

Oh, whatever. She’s expecting help. Most likely $5,000 a month worth of it.

Ryan Phillippe and Amanda Seyfried have split after seven months of dating. A source says it was mutual and that “they were never fully committed.” A fact that could be seen when Alexis Knapp came out saying Ryan was the father of her kid. The source added, “They were always on and off. They were always seeing other people.”

So that makes Reese Witherspoon, Abbie Cornish and now Amanda Seyfried. They just keep getting younger and younger. Next thing you know he’ll be trying to sweet talk a zygote into sex.

Ryan Phillippe’s rep scarmbled to do damage control after he told Page Six that he was moving to New York and quitting acting. His rep told Access Hollywood that he’s not retiring and that “he’s been talking about expanding his talents to producing and directing, but he has no plans to stop acting nor did he ever say that he was considering doing so.”

Odd since Page Six quoted Ryan as saying, “I’m going to spend a third of my year in New York… I think I’m going to end my acting career. I’m so introverted. I’m ready to be behind the scenes.”

To recap, Ryan Phillippe will continue acting so you can stop holding your breath in protest and you can stop telling your friends that The Way of the Gun was one of his greatest films. Even though it is.

Ryan Phillippe told Page Six that he’s tired of being under the microscope and the paparazzi culture that follows. That’s why he’s quitting acting and moving to New York. Sounds like a well thought out plan.

“It’s so hard to go out in LA. I’m going to move,” he told us at La Bottega the other night. “I’m going to spend a third of my year in New York.” He said brokers have been showing him places in SoHo and, “I think I’m going to end my acting career. I’m so introverted. I’m ready to be behind the scenes. I’m 36, but I’ve been doing this for 20 years.”

He said he is also tired of being tabloid fodder, probably because of his eventful love life. “I’m a good guy,” he pleaded to us at the Cinema Society after-party for his film. “I’m not that guy you read about.”

That’s weird because I read he cheated on Reese Witherspoon with his co-star Abbie Cornish which did happen. Was I reading The Onion? Because I’m pretty good at detecting sarcasm, I thought. That line is doubly amazing since I saw The Lincoln Lawyer over the weekend and for anyone who’s seen it, you know what I’m talking about. He’s probably pulling a fast one on Page Six. Oh, you’re a crafty one, Mr. Phillippe.

Ryan Phillipe and Amanda Seyfried hit up Amika Nightclub where Ryan got trashed and Amanda maybe slightly. Though she looks absolutely sober. If Ryan didn’t go home and stick it in her butt and then tell her to fix him a sandwich, he’s been going at this drinking thing all wrong.

Alexis Knapp swears up and down that the baby she’s carrying is Ryan Phillippe’s but according to her, Ryan hasn’t given her any financial support. Which is tough because she can’t work. Because of the baby, you see? Sure, she can walk around Hollywood getting her picture taken but labor? She doesn’t want to hear that word until that kid is ready to pop out.

Sources connected to Ryan, however, say he’s been paying all her expenses despite having no confirmation that the baby is actually his. They also say Ryan is pissed because Alexis promised she wouldn’t go to the media if he paid for everything.

As that drama unfolds at TMZ, Alexis’ rep went to Us to tell them how happy she is to be a mother and that she never asked for help. Wait, let me prepare my eyes for the eventual rolling they’ll be doing. Says her rep, “She has never asked Ryan for any help, nor does she expect it. Alexis has maintained her silence and will continue to do so… She continues to appreciate the love and support of her family and friends. She does know the baby’s gender, but isn’t saying yet. She’s really excited to be a mom.”

Of course she’s excited to be a mom. She’ll be set for life with child support. I’d be excited too if I won the lottery. Granted, the excitement will be tapered with the fact I have to take care of a screaming kid for 18 years, but that’s what nannies are for.

Model/actress (read: unemployed) Alexis Knapp may be in her second trimester with Ryan Phillippe’s baby. His third if this rumor is to be believed. Ryan already has two with his ex-wife Reese Witherspoon.

Sources say Alexis has “been telling people he is the father.” A second source claims “Ryan doesn’t know if he is the dad. If he is, he will take full responsibility for the child.”

Yet another source says the two had been together for a while before Ryan met Amanda Seyfried and at one point they were pretty serious.

Aw, god dammit. You have unprotected sex with one girl multiple times and she gets pregnant? What is this world coming to. No worries. One little push from Ryan will solve this little problem. Heh heh heh. Er, metaphorically, of course.

Last week Us reported that Ryan Phillippe hit on Rihanna and was shot down. Now Us reports they’re sleeping together on the down low. Sure, why not.

Rihanna’s got a steamy new collaboration! Though one source told Us Weekly the singer, 23, appeared to blow off Ryan Phillippe, 36, at a Gucci/Roc Nation brunch in L.A. on Feb. 12, a second insider says it was actually just the opposite — and that the two had a sleepover that very night!

“She thinks he’s hot,” says the source. “They totally had sex. And it wasn’t even the first time!”

“They initially hooked up when things were strained with [Rihanna's ex] Matt Kemp back in early December,” says a Rihanna source. Phillippe (whose three-month, nonexclusive romance with Amanda Seyfried recently fizzled) and Rihanna then reconnected at Bing’s Two Kings charity event Feb. 19 — though again, they played it cool.

My new plan is to run into Rihanna and talk to her for at least 2 minutes because apparently she sleeps with every guy she meets.

Things with Ryan Phillippe and Amanda Seyfried may not be going too well because Ryan tried to hit on Rihanna at the Gucci/Roc Nation brunch at Soho House on Feb. 12. Ryan used his smoothest line but Rihanna and her fivehead were having none of it. A witness said she blew him off.

“He said something to the effect of, ‘What are you doing tonight?’ and she signaled ‘sleep,’” a witness tells the new Us Weekly. “She was trying to be polite, but she was genuinely not interested. When a couple of her friends came up to join the conversation, he just walked away.”

The actor, 36, had more luck later that night, when he was seen leaving a house party with a pretty brunette. As for his relationship with Seyfried, 25: “It’s casual. They’re friends who hang out romantically from time to time and that’s it,” says a pal. “At one point, there was a chance it would develop into something more serious, but it never did. There’s no commitment.”

Being famous is still awesome. Ryan was rejected by Rihanna but his consolation prize was a “pretty brunette.” Meanwhile, regular guys would be rejected by that “pretty brunette” and their consolation prize would be their hand with only their tears as lubrication.

Here’s Amanda Seyfried in her Dopey Dog costume at Kate Hudson’s Halloween party in Pacific Palisades before she hooked-up with Ryan Phillippe and went back to his house.

Photogs caught her leaving Ryan’s house costume-less the next day and asked if they were dating. Like a proper slut, Seyfried said, “You never know!” Damn, this Amanda chick is hot.

What happened to the costume though? I kind of wanted pictures of someone in full “Dopey Dog” outfit doing the walk of shame. That would have made my day.

In 2006, news broke that Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon divorced because he was having an affair with his co-star Abbie Cornish. Fast forward to 2010 and Ryan’s relationship with Abbie is over as well for maybe the same reason.

Ryan was reportedly picking up whores at clubs. Turnabout is fair play. Abbie’s rep said, “Abbie ended the relationship with Ryan and she moved out of their home.” Abbie was seen moving her stuff out on Sunday while Ryan visited his kids.

Ryan shouldn’t commit himself to a relationship. He should be like Gerard Butler. Bang a bunch of chicks while linking himself to Jennifer Aniston. That would be funny because it’d seem like the only way Aniston can find a boyfriend is if the relationship is concocted by tabloids.