Sarah Michelle Gellar has gone through somewhat of a resurgence starring in the alarmingly decent Ringer. She’s also surprisingly still married to that dork Freddie Prinze, Jr. and it even sounds like she still lets him have sex with her because Us reports that Sarah is pregnant with her second child.

“She and Freddie are thrilled,” a friend of the pair says. “They’re amazing parents.” Us Weekly

This was some terrible timing as Gellar’s character just went through half the season of Ringer pregnant. Now producers either have to hide her behind tables and shoot her from the waist up to hide that parasite growing inside her or somehow make her lose the baby. Maybe in a dumpster, as I usually suggest to my ex-girlfriends.

Sarah Michelle Gellar covers the latest issue of Health and talks about her feeling of insecurity. She diagnoses herself with body dysmorphic disorder and swears she rarely looks in a mirror. She’s just like us! Or, you, rather.

“I’m a female! I totally have body dysmorphic disorder. I think most women do. A make-up artist friend once said, ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look in a mirror’. I’m surrounded by them all the time – you sit in hair and make-up – so I guess I just have this mechanism where I tune it out. So every once in a while, I’ll look and I’ll be like, ‘Wait, that’s what I look like?’

“I just have to remember that I’m human, and I’m a mom. Being a parent changes the vanity at least a little bit. It has to. Your priorities are different.”

I’m the same way about not looking into a mirror. Not because I have body image issues but because if I do, there’s a good chance I might fall in love and stand there for hours staring at myself. I’m so handsome.

According to People, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr welcomed their first child on Saturday. They decided to go exotic by naming her Charlotte Grace. I learned exclusively that upon Charlotte’s arrival, Freddie Prinze abandoned both her and Sarah Michelle in favor of living a life of crime. I’m told he spent the past nine months preparing for his new life by growing a beard and shooting at tin cans from 50 feet away with a toy gun.

I’m lying. I was hoping to spice up this story, but even imaginary stories of Sarah Michelle and Freddie Prinze are boring. If they had a wonder twin power, it would be to take form of the most boring people in the world. Except they wouldn’t need to take form of those people as they already are them. See, even their super power is boring.

People continues that the couple is “over the moon” and “Sarah Michelle recently changed her last name from Gellar to Prinze.”

And with that, the Prinzes continue to drain any ounce of enjoyment from my life.

It’s always weird to see super small and skinny chicks pregnant. It always looks fake like they’re wearing a fat suit. It’s even weirder when they’re carrying Freddie Prinze Jr.’s baby. It must kill to know that inside of you is a little dork growing. Freddie probably wants to name the kid Freddie Prinze Jr. Jr. or Thor or after some other dumb comic book hero. Meanwhile, the kid will probably come out of the womb sporting rimmed glasses and his hair pre-parted to the side.

Good news all you Buffy fans. Sarah Michelle Gellar is pregnant with her first child so that makes her relevant for a day.

I don’t know much about their film or television careers but PEOPLE says Freddie shot a comedy pilot called No Heroics and will shoot another pilot for HBO called The Wonderful Maladays. Two shows which will probably never be picked up because it’s Freddie Prinze Jr.

Congrats go to these two. A word of advice, however. Never put on a Freddie Prinze Jr. movie while Sarah is still pregnant. There’s a 90% the kid will abort itself.

Sarah Michelle Gellar hasn’t made much noise since Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She’s done a few bad movies like The Grudge and Southland Tales in an attempt to break out of the teenage typecast she’s gotten too old for. So far, she’s been unsuccessful. Maybe this photo shoot will help. I find that becoming masturbatory candy for twenty-year-olds rather than fifteen-year-olds usually does.

Sorry, had to take them down.

These are some outtakes of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s Maxim photo shoot from a while back. Even though a lot of them are photoshopped and eerily capture the cold, distant, detached look in her eyes as a result of working within the soul-sucking industry that is Hollywood, it’s still enough to get me all hot and bothered. A lot more after the jump.

Sarah Michelle Gellar shot an ad for Vaseline in which you can’t see her face, only her naked body. I’m not sure what feelings these images are supposed to evoke and I have no idea the merits of rubbing Vaseline over your entire body, but I’ve noticed my penis has had this really healthy glow lately. Take that for what it’s worth.

“Why you act dumb like uh-duh”

Remember when Sarah Michelle Gellar, was, you know, attractive? A cute little pixie slaying vampires on your tv screen. Sadly, Buffy the Vampire Slayer ended and evidently, so did Buffy’s hotness. These pictures prove one thing. You can slay vampires, but you can’t slay time. You look 40 Buffy. IMDB says you’re 30. Now, who do you think I’m gonna believe. My own eyes of course! Welcome to your 40s! They say it can be a great time. Not if you’re an actress mind you. Only if you’re one of the common folk like us. If you’re an actress at 40, do you know what that’s called? Unemployable. Hope those DVD box sets sell well this Xmas. – Captain Swarthy

Sarah Michelle Gellar spoke to Allure about her humanitarian efforts on the set of Buffy after 9/11. The good-natured vampire slayer raised money on set by having a few actors, producers and herself match any money the crew could put up.

I’d go up to the extras and say, “Look, you’re working on the show today. You’re getting your coffee for free, so give me the $3 you spend at Starbucks every day.”

That’s a nice thing to do, but it sounds kind of bitchy to guilt people into donating money. Extras make next to nothing compared to Mrs. Big TV Star here. Not to mention the whole allure of being an extra is the free donuts and coffee and the chance to whack off in your favorite star’s dressing room meeting your favorite tv / movie star. Paying to be on set just ruins the experience of whacking off in your favorite star’s dressing room meeting your favorite tv / movie star

You know who hasn’t done anything stupid in a while? Sarah Michelle Gellar. She’s managed to not embarrass herself too much and should get some sort of award. Alas, I don’t have any to give unless you count my Humanitarian Award. But to me, it isn’t an award. It’s just who I am.

You can see Sarah Michelle Gellar next in The Grudge 2 and The Return or right here.