Sarah Silverman and a friend flaunted anti-drug laws and fired up a joint in a public parking lot Monday afternoon. Fame says they “engaged in animated discussion in between tokes.”

Which is pretty much all you can do when you’re high. Forget about driving home. You’ll be going in circles for an hour trying to figure out how to get out of the parking lot and that lamp post you ask for directions will be of no help at all.

Sarah Silverman and Michelle Williams were filming Take This Waltz and in one scene they had to be in a pool and you know what that means. Gratuitous bikini shots! Frumpy swimsuit shots!

Hopefully Sarah Silverman will always be facing forward in the movie. I thought National Geographic was filming elephants crossing a river again when I saw the header pic.

Late Night host Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman have broken up for the second time. The two split last July only to get back together a few months later. Now it looks like the relationship is over for good or until they realize no one else can stand their jokes which, by my estimate, will happen in six months.

The world’s most eligible bachelor, Jimmy Kimmel, has broken up with comedienne, Sarah Silverman, after five years of dating. Sarah’s rep confirmed the report and added:

“Jimmy and Sarah have and will have no further comment.”

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman made the most confusing couple in Hollywood. Neither of them are particularly funny, but Sarah was pretty hot for a comedienne and was out of his league. If I had to guess, they probably ended it because of their sex life which was basically Sarah taking off her clothes and Jimmy sitting on the edge of the bed in his tightey whities laughing like a retard, clapping his hands and drooling all over himself.

Here’s more crap from backstage at the 2007 MTV Movie Awards. Jessica Biel and Sarah Silverman thought it would be cool to tease everyone and almost kiss. I’d be more impressed if they actually did kiss or if that mind control device I ordered finally arrives. I believe scientists call it a “shotgun”, whatever that means.

Mariah Carey thinks she’s going to be mistaken for a porn star. Not with those chunky thighs she’s not. [Celebrity Smack]

Posh Spice threatens lawsuit. She thinks her jeans are more awesome than they really are and wants to get paid. [Glitterati]

Mel Gibson is bat shit insane. [Pajiba]

Mandy Moore forgives Wilmer Valderrama for telling everyone she’s a slut. What a slut. [Celebslam]

Heather Mills got over $200 million in a secret settlement. Someone also found a bunch of photos of her and Paul that was thrown out including “Mills draped in a sheet in bed, with her artificial leg standing in a black stiletto nearby.” Jesus, it’s too early for an erection. [Celebitchy]

Tori Spelling has some weird stuff at her yard sale. No sign of her career. [CityRag]

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman aren’t too friendly. So this is what the death of comedy looks like. [Popsugar]

Kelly Clarkson vandalizes Amy Lee from Evanescence’s house. [Just Jared]

Random message to Paris Hilton. [Drunken Stepfather]

The American Music Awards were on yesterday. Did anyone care? Not sure, but the Black-Eyed Peas and the Red Hot Chili Peppers won big. I sorta stopped right there because it can only get worse. Instead of telling you who won what, here are some of the celebrities that attended. More after the jump along with some insightful commentary.

Ashlee Simpson
I’m glad this girl isn’t a regular news item anymore. She looks much different from the Ashlee Simpson of yesteryear. Like she’s made of plastic. Something to ponder.

Beyonce
Nice cleavage. Rock on, but hopefully not rock hard. Can’t say much about her music.

Britney Spears
This girl bounces between not hot and almost not not hot. In some shots, she’s not hot. What’s with the hair.

Carmen Electra
She looks like she’s going for the Christina Aguilera thing minus the see through clothes. Commitment is key Carmen.

Gwen Stefani
Jesus. Next.

Jojo
Some little teenybopper with a average rack and that’s about it. Crap. That makes me dirty doesn’t it.

Katharine McPhee
One picture reminds me of Catherine-Zeta Jones. Other pictures remind me I don’t care.

Nicole Richie
Next!

Sarah Silverman
Yea baby. Show us your tits. Woo. Why am I not laughing? Oh, it’s Sarah Silverman.

Carrie Underwood
Some chick from American Idol. Good for a night on the town and not much else.