So any of you want to hear about Mel. B? No? Well too bad. Scary Spice is “beyond gutted” after finding out through friends that Eddie Murphy dumped her. While Mel was on a plane from London to the US, Eddie Murphy was telling Dutch TV that he and Mel were over, that Tracey Edmonds is his new love and that he wanted a paternity test to prove Mel’s baby was his.

She was stunned to see so many photographers and couldn’t understand why they were all asking her how she felt. Then all of a sudden she got these messages asking if she was OK after what Eddie had done. At first she thought it was some kind of joke but then she called one of her friends who read the story down the phone to her.

This has nothing to do with the story because it’s funny on it’s own, but you know what would be great? If Eddie Murphy stopped releasing his awful cross dressing movies. I think I speak for everyone when I say I’d rather pound rusty nails through my ballsack than ever have to watch one of those things. Oh and Eddie. I think the baby is yours. You done gone stuck your penis in a woman this time.

A lot of people thought Eddie Murphy marrying Mel B. was some sort of sham because last year there were reports Eddie Murphy might be gay. I ask you this. If Eddie Murphy were gay, would he be with Scary Spice?! Scary Spice is as woman as they get. By they I mean trannies and by that question I mean Eddie Murphy is still gay. The homosexual kind of gay.