On Monday, Seal taped an interview with Ellen to promote his album Soul 2. Of course the topic of his separation came up which led to him explaining why he still wears his wedding ring. Spoiler: It’s not because he has fat fingers.

“It’s just pretty much a token of how I feel about this woman,” he says on the show airing Wednesday. “We have eight years, eight wonderful years together. Just because we have decided to separate doesn’t necessarily mean you take off your ring and you’re no longer connected to that person. We will be connected in many ways ’til the rest of our lives.”

As to whether he’ll wear the ring for the rest of his life, he says, “Who knows?”

“But right now it feels really comfortable on my hand so I have no intentions of taking it off anytime soon,” he says.

The separation, he tells DeGeneres, left him and Klum just as “shocked” as everybody. But he says the pair found that “you just grow apart after awhile.”

“It’s a shame,” he says. “To say that neither of us were grieving would be an out-and-out lie.” PEOPLE

So the ring is a symbol of how he and Heidi will be connected for the rest of their lives. I take it he’s planted a hidden camera somewhere in the house already.

Speaking of cameras, while Seal says he and Heidi “grew apart,” inside sources say the real reason for the split is Seal’s explosive temper which comes out especially when someone goes into his special camera room.

The source described Seal as having “entitlement” issues and an explosive temper. For example, she said that Seal has a room at home full of vintage cameras, and if anyone goes inside he goes “ballistic”. However, like we reported earlier, their separation doesn’t necessarily mean divorce. The source says the threat alone may be enough to convince Seal to get help with his anger issues. Hollywood Life

My first thought when I heard “camera room” was “sex dungeon” but apparently it was something way nerdier. For once, I’d like a celebrity to have a sex dungeon. Then we can be twinsies.

PEOPLE and Us Weekly were holding out hope that they didn’t get scooped in the Heidi Klum/Seal divorce story so they contacted sources who claimed the two weren’t separating and were merely going through a rough patch. Well, sorry, sources, but maybe you weren’t as good of friends with Heidi and Seal as you thought you were.

In an official statement to PEOPLE, Heidi and Seal have announced the end of their almost seven year marriage.

“While we have enjoyed seven very loving, loyal and happy years of marriage, after much soul-searching we have decided to separate.

“We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other very much, but we have grown apart. This is an amicable process and protecting the well-being of our children remains our top priority, especially during this time of transition.

“We thank our family, friends, and fans for their kind words of support. And for our children’s sake, we appreciate you respecting our privacy.” PEOPLE

TMZ says the split has to do largely in part with Seal’s temper which had become too much for Heidi to take. Heidi has also “become a mega-entrepreneur and extremely rich” which has created a distance between them.

That makes sense. When any report talks about Heidi Klum it’s just “Heidi Klum” but when they write about Seal they always tell people it’s “that guy who sang ‘Kiss From a Rose’”. I can see how having to remind everyone you’re famous for singing that song from the awful Batman Forever movie 17 years ago could have an emotional impact.

A report by TMZ over the weekend claimed a divorce between Heidi Klum and Seal was imminent. But if Us Weekly and PEOPLE are to be believed, it’s not happening. Though the couple has hit a rough patch, they have no plans to split just yet, claims the two publications.

“Nothing is finalized or for sure. Seal flew back from the UK yesterday and he and Heidi are in the house together now,” friend close to the couple tells Us. “They’ve had a very rough road lately. They’re either madly in love or having crazy fights.”

The friend goes on to say that the couple’s recent trip to Aspen was full of tension, adding “they fought a lot. It was a very hard trip.” Us Weekly

PEOPLE seconded the two’s bipolar relationship reiterating that there’s no divorce yet.

Contrary to reports that surfaced Saturday, “They’ve been fighting a lot lately, but they have no plans to announce a split right now,” the source says. “They’re not divorcing.”

But they have been weathering a rough patch.

According to the insider, in recent months, distance has tested the famously lovey-dovey pair.

Back together at their Brentwood, Calif., home on Saturday, “they seem to be doing a lot better,” the source adds. “They’re both wearing their wedding bands.” PEOPLE

Aw, hell no. I already broke out the massage oils and bath bombs as part of my master plan for comforting Heidi Klum in her time of need. Plus, I’ve been doing shoulder shrugs for the past hour to give her something substantial to cry on. Next time Heidi decides to save her marriage, she should quit being so selfish and think about me first.

Heidi Klum and Seal married in May of 2005 after Heidi was swept off her feet by Seal’s gigantic package. Three biological kids, six cutesy Halloweens and yearly renewals of their vows later, they’re divorcing. Heidi will cite the regular standby, “irreconcilable differences.” But what about the money? Well, I’m glad you asked, gold digger.

As for splitting up the goodies, there’s a lot on the line. According to Forbes, in the last year alone, Klum raked in $20 million. It’s unclear how much Seal made. TMZ

In a two word tweet, Seal simply wrote, “The End.” And I guess it is. For him. For Heidi, it’s just the beginning because I’ve been waiting years to make my move. Yes, looks like everything is finally coming up Millhouse.

Heidi Klum showed up for another Halloween party the other day in NYC with her husband Seal. Both dressed up as apes from Planet of the Apes. At least I hope the costumes were inspired by Planet of the Apes or else Heidi Klum is really racist for making Seal dress up like a monkey. But I’m assuming it was from the movie. Unless she got up on the microphone, shouted “Hey, guys, guess who I am?,” and started singing “Kiss From a Rose.” If that was the case, then awk-ward.

Every year Heidi Klum holds her annual Halloween party where she dresses up just so she can embarrass everyone else and their Halloween Superstore costume. This year was no different. Held at NYC’s Lavo, Heidi dressed up as an 8-foot-tall robo superhero while Seal dressed up as the Silver Surfer. Heidi could have called herself Thanos and no one would have said anything.

“I wanted to be like an alien transformer,” she told Us at the party at NYC’s Lavo. “It took a few hours [to get ready], but I was well-prepared because someone has been building it for me for quite some time, so when the time came, I just put it on. But the makeup, that took a little while longer!”

I heard if you came to this party dressed in a fancy argyle sweater or even as a generic vampire and you weren’t a chick with big tits and a push-up bra, everyone got to throw rotten tomatoes at you.

No, Heidi Klum doesn’t have a sex tape nor is she actually nude in Seal’s video for his new single ‘Secret’ and yes, the song is sort of lovey dovey to the point of making you puke but at least Heidi is slightly naked. Sigh. I’m sorry I tricked you. We can still be friends though, right?

Honestly, I thought these pictures of Heidi Klum on a boat would be much hotter. I’m not sure what I was expecting. Maybe Heidi seductively sucking on a strawberry or something. These are just ho-hum. Not only that, it looks like it’s model off-season for her. She better get back in shape if she wants to see me again. *Taps foot on ground expectantly*

Heidi Klum didn’t win anything at the Grammys. I don’t think she even sings. But those minor details didn’t stop her from parading around her huge cleavage on the red carpet yesterday with her singer husband Seal. Someone should have given her a Grammy regardless.  That way she wouldn’t have left empty-handed and it will ensure she comes next year too. Preferably in a see-through dress with no bra which should earn her her second Grammy.

Every year Heidi Klum dresses up as pure awesomeness. She and Seal always come up with incredible costumes which are always awe inspiring. This year was no exception. Heidi dressed up as Kali and Seal dressed up as.. um, Sinbad? I don’t know but it looks amazing.

Other celebrities should give up. They should just stick to their slutty cop, slutty fairy and, if you’re Kirsten Dunst, giant paper bag costumes. More after the jump.

A while back, Heidi Klum made a guest appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show where she admitted to staring at Seal’s huge package during their first encounter. Now the Victoria’s Secret model is back with more tales of intrigue. Specifically, how she let Seal bang her on the first date.

“We went somewhere very nice for dinner — it was very good but I can’t tell you exactly what we did,” she told Pop Tarts last week with a cheeky smile. “It would be too naughty and you can’t run it anyway. It would just be bloop bleep bloop bloop bleep. But it was a very good first date. …”

Bloop bleep bloop bloop bleep indeed. But for your information, Heidi, you don’t know what you missed out on when you declined my dinner invitation and pepper sprayed me in the face. Our date would have ended with boop bleep bleep bleep boop bleep bloop bloop bloop bleep. By my calculations, that’s twice as long as Seal. Not only that, have you ever seen a man cry during sex? No? Well too bad. Now you never will. Sucks to be you, loser.

Heidi Klum and Seal were waiting for their car outside of Madeo in West Hollywood on Tuesday. The paps were there giving him “props”, but then Seal just straight up turned on a “brotha” calling him and his paparazzi friends scum. They asked him why he said such hurtful things and he replied, “Why don’t you ask your mother how I feel.” The paparazzi then slumped down and cried. So hurtful. Just kidding, they continued to antagonize him with kind words until they drove off.

I’ll be honest. I stopped paying attention 30 seconds into this video. I was trying to see if I had x-ray vision and could look through Heidi Klum’s shirt. What? Well pardon me for being horny.

That’s right Heidi. That’s not a banana in my pants. It’s all me.

Seal and Heidi Klum made a rare joint appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show where Heidi said the first thing she noticed about Seal was his big package. People says,

“I met him in a hotel lobby in New York City and he came in just from the gym and I was sitting there and I was, like, wow,” Klum tells Oprah Winfrey on her show’s Superstar Couples episode set to air Thursday.

Wow, as in Seal was wearing bicycle shorts.

“And I pretty much saw everything,” says Klum. “The whole package.”

This pretty much disproves those feel good shows where women say size doesn’t matter. It matters. Well, it matters if you want to bang a model like Heidi Klum. Which is why I get so much tail. Rarely have I disappointed any supermodel. I don’t know if it’s because of my huge wiener or this trick I learned. If a girl ever gives me a frowny face when I drop my pants, I pull out a baseball bat and yell, “Would you like THIS better?! Huh?! Huh?!,” while shaking it in their face. After which I’d run to the bathroom and start crying. Pity sex is the best. Correction. Pity sex with my huge wang is the best.