Partygoers at the Weinstein Co.’s post-Globes bash at bar210 in the Beverly Hilton were stunned over Diddy’s “controlling” treatment of his maybe girlfriend Cameron Diaz. The two didn’t arrive together but after posing for photos with Paris, Nick and Kathy Hilton, he went over to an elevated back room in a tent in the bar’s parking lot where he found Cameron sitting on a couch “talking to a guy.” “Aw, hell nah,” Diddy thought to himself.

“Let’s go,” Diddy told the “Bad Teacher” actress, who our source says quickly got up to follow him out a back exit where celebrities could call their cars, away from the prying eyes of the paparazzi.

Before Diaz and Diddy could make their getaway, however, our source says they ran into three male party guests who wanted their pictures taken with Diaz.

She happily obliged, says our source, until an impatient Diddy grabbed her hand, said “Let’s go” again, and pulled her to a waiting car.

“I’ve never seen him so controlling,” says the source, who says Diaz “seemed to like the manly power thing.” NYDN

Diddy probably wanted to get Cameron home before the clock struck 12 and she turned into an even more hideous monster. Seriously. She looks like she styled her hair with a weed whacker. I’d have wanted her to leave too.

Rosie O’Donnell was personally invited to Sean “Diddy” Combs’ New Year’s Eve party on Miami’s Star Island but when she showed up casually dressed with six people behind her — for a total of 12 chins! — Diddy’s security turned them away.

Rosie and friends had to take a walk of shame while Rihanna, Vivica Fox, Nelly, Matt Kemp, Robin Thicke and Paula Patton partied inside. Much like Monday through Friday, she went home to eat her sadness away.

Diddy’s rep confirmed the incident but said he was “completely unaware” but now the he thought about it, it all made sense considering they still had leftovers.

Cameron Diaz and Sean “Diddy” Combs were caught making out Saturday night at PH-D at the Dream Downtown Hotel. Which is really weird considering Cameron Diaz has long since denied any sort of romantic relationship with Diddy and it’s scientifically impossible because… how would Diddy breathe if his mouth was occupied? Anyway, the source was pretty insistent.

Afterward, the group migrated upstairs to PH-D, where Diddy came to meet Diaz at her table at about 1:15 a.m. After the music mogul ordered multiple bottles of Ciroc, Grey Goose and Patrón, onlookers said Diaz and Diddy were attached to each other all night. “They were kissing and making out,” and continued being “very affectionate” while they danced, our sources said. Diaz and Diddy left the club together with the group just after 3 a.m. Page Six

Someone should let Diddy know you don’t need to get Cameron Diaz that drunk if you want to make out with her. For a women of her caliber, a simple, “your  hair looks nice today,” usually does the trick.

Cameron Diaz and Sean “Diddy” Combs were spotted at Catch on Monday night. And as it always is with famous people, being in the same vicinity means they’re totally doing it.

“Cameron and Diddy were surrounded by security in a private booth.” Page Six

See? What did I tell you! It’s all there in black and white. Anyway, this is an unlikely pairing but it sort of works. Diddy makes popular music everyone forgets about in a month. Cameron Diaz makes popular movies everyone forgets about in a month. Combing their powers, they could become Hollywood’s most average couple.

Breaking news: Diddy hosted an open bar! In his mouth.

Alternatively, Diddy sucks at being a bartender because that’s definitely not how you mix a mimosa. Or is it?

Last year for his son Justin’s sweet sixteen, P. Diddy bought him a $350,000 Mercedes Maybach complete with his own personal driver.

This year for his 17th birthday, Diddy bought him a $405,000 Maybach Limousine after Justin made the honor roll. If my parents ever gave me $400k gifts instead of empty promises in exchange for good grades, I’d never have gotten anything below an A. Well, at the very least I’d have paid someone else to do my homework.

“Justin has turned himself around and is now an Honours student, which he wasn’t before, so I wanted to treat him. It’s a collector’s car so maybe he will use it for special occasions like on a first date, but like all my kids, he prefers the simpler things than the expensive things. Simple tastes.”

One thing though. Don’t criticize Diddy for bribing his son with these expensive gifts because that makes you a racist.

“The whole thing about giving a Maybach to my son, that’s really like a racist question. You don’t ask white people what they buy their kids,” Diddy continued. “And they buy ‘em Porsches and convertible Bentleys, and it ain’t no question. It’s really a racist question and put things back in perspective with money and the way that people still look at you. And I’m not saying that consciously he’s a racist. But he probably don’t even realize that he would not ask Steve Jobs that. He would be like Steve Jobs has that money, and that’s the gift his kid is supposed to get.”

Um, no. I have no idea what Steve Jobs bought his kid but it was probably an iPhone. I’m sure if he threw his money around and planned ostentatious sweet sixteen parties where he gave his kid a $350,000 car and a $10,000 check and a year later gave them a $400,000 car, you’d hear about it. Also, no one cares about non-famous people. That’s just how it is. This is less about race and more about celebrities spoiling their kids.

Not that I have anything against throwing your money around. I’m all for it actually. I’d walk around wearing the skin of a panda and five diamond encrusted Rolex watches on each arm if I could afford it. I’d even slap the bagel out of a homeless guy’s hand, point at him with my purely ornamental gold cane and laugh heartily in a fabulous display of opulence.

One Valerie Joyce Wilson Turks — four names? oh yea, she’s definitely insane — wants a restraining order against P. Diddy aka Sean Combs for a laundry list of crimes. Some of them against humanity.

Turks says Diddy, his ex-girlfriend Kim Porter and Rodney King were responsible for the collapse of the World Trade Center. She also claims to have dated Diddy and that the two have a son together, Cornelius Wilson, 23. In addition to the restraining order, she also wants $900 billion in child support and $100 billion for “loss of income.” *Twirls finger around ear, backs away slowly* Her allegations are as follows:

She alleges that she has been subjected to abuse from 2001 – 2010 and that: “[Diddy] went through Kim Porter and Rodney King and knocked down the WTC and then they all came and knocked my children down. Set me up to be on disability and disabled my baby. he put my baby in a wheelchair.”

Valerie then goes on to say in her statement that is riddled with spelling and punctuation errors: “He date raped me 24 years ago and knocked me down him and Kim Porter and Wallace Wright, then Sean Combs and Kim and Wallace Wright came back 18 years later and raped and sexually abused my children and knocked my children down and crushed me and my children daily.

“Plus I won a lot of money at the casino in Mississippi and Sean P. Diddy Combs has my chip to my money. I heard he gave it to Gwen Allen to hold but she can not cash it in. I want my chip please help me. it’s well worth over 100 zillions of dollars, and my hospital keys. They put me and my baby in the hospital and broke my baby 2 legs and sexual assaulted my children and crushed us.”

In summary, P. Diddy was responsible for 9/11, raped this woman 24 years ago, “knocked her down”, came back 18 years later with Kim Porter and Wallace Wright and gang raped her and her children and then insulted her. In addition, he stole her $100 zillion in Mississippi casino chips and her hospital keys, broke her baby’s two legs putting him in a wheelchair, raped her children again and left her devastated.

If I was a judge, I wouldn’t need to hear any more testimony. This is clearly an open and shut case. Hasn’t this woman suffered enough at the hands of Diddy, the rapist baby leg breaker thief? Judgment in the amount of $1 trillion goes to the plaintiff.

During a live streaming event at the launch of Diddy’s Dirty Money album in London MC’d by Kevin Hart, a nude model’s hair caught on fire.

She was just sitting in the tub playing with the water when her hair lit up like a candle. She put out the blaze by slapping herself in the back of the head.

Good job. Next time why don’t you try using the 10 gallons of water you’re sitting in.

Jay-Z was at the NBA All-Star game when Benny the Bull did the Single Ladies dance in front of him and Diddy. Let’s just say they didn’t find it funny. In fact, they sat their expressionless like they were the dead guy from Weekend at Bernies. Oh, well excuse me, your highness. Didn’t mean to inject a little levity into this All Star game. Excuse me while I let you get back to looking cool with your indoor sunglasses.

Next time you’re going to be at a party with Jay-Z, remember to bring a rope because it’ll be so damn boring that you’re going to want to hang yourself.

On an upcoming episode of MTV’s My Super Sweet Sixteen, you can see just how great it is to be Diddy’s kid. Diddy threw his son Justin Dior one of them fancy sweet sixteen parties which I thought only girls were supposed to have. It turned out great, apparently, because Justin made out with a silver Maybach, a driver to escort him around New York and a $10,000 check which Justin donated to Yele Haiti. Performing at the party were Fabolous, Lil’ Kim and Jim Jones.

Spies at the M2 Ultralounge bash say the music mogul almost got into an altercation with a publicist early in the evening, when the flack tried to get in some personal business time with him.

“Diddy was yelling about how it was his son’s birthday and not a night to talk about work,” a partygoer dishes. “He really ripped into him, but the guy totally deserved it. He was out of line.”

But the minidrama couldn’t take away from the extravagant fete or Justin’s spotlight: Diddy had his eldest son sit above the packed crowd on a throne that was on the stage, all while MTV cameras rolled for an upcoming episode of “My Super Sweet Sixteen.”

And while the kids were having good, clean fun downstairs, the celebrities that attended the fete retreated to a private upstairs section for a more adultlike experience.

This was alright, I guess. I think my 16th birthday was way more memorable. Singing happy birthday to myself in the dark while trying to keep the lone candle stuck in the rice krispy treat I bought myself from falling was better than any $350,000 car. My tears made the rice krispy taste twice as sweet.

On a different note, in the header photo, that’s supposed to be some girl named Nikki Menage next to Justin Dior Combs (Diddy’s son). But, holy crap. Are you sure that Nikki girl is a real person? Because she looks exactly like a blowup doll. I bet if I stuck a pin in her, she’d fly all over the place like a leaky balloon.

Imperative Talent Management sent out a casting call for promo girls for a new Ciroc commercial they’re filming with Sean “Diddy” Combs. All females are welcome to apply as long as they’re “White, Hispanic or light skinned African American.” Dark skinned African Americans are SOL it seems. YBF has the email in full:

From: info@imperativemgt.com
Subject: Promo girls needed!!!
To:
Date: Tuesday, March 24, 2009, 9:49 PM

Ciroc Promotion

Ciroc promo is this Friday, March 27, 2009
Time: 3:00pm – 7:00pm and 12:00am – 3:00am

Requirements:

Race: White, hispanic or light skinned african american
Height: At least 5?6 or taller
Size 7 or smaller.

This is a cash @ wrap job and the booking will be thru our partner. Please submit asap. Talent will only be contacted if the client is interested in booking you!!!

Compensation: $35.00 per hour

Imperative Talent Management
3500 Lenox Road, Suite 1500
Atlanta, GA 30326
info@imperativemgt.com
www.imperativemgt.com
404-419-2565 Office
404-419-2564 Office

Diddy, of course, earns 50% of Ciroc profits for promoting the vodka brand, a projected $100 million deal that was signed in 2007. Back then, he told the AP: “It is not an endorsement deal. This is something that will have my daily attention.” So it stands to reason Diddy should know what’s going on in the commercial he’s filming. This doesn’t sound like it’ll end well. And, um, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Diddy dark skinned? What’s with the self-hate? Does he go home at night and with his right hand, force his left hand to slap his own face while he shouts, “Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?”

Fake? You decide.

Update: Turns out this might be fake. Here’s the official response from Ciroc. They don’t even know who put up the casting call without their permission.

“CIROC Vodka has nothing whatsoever to do with this inappropriate and offensive casting call, which was done without the brand’s knowledge or consent. We are currently investigating how this occurred. CIROC Vodka has created a brand that defines sophisticated celebration for all consumers, and in no way condones this practice.”

ET confirms that P. Diddy is tapped to guest star in two episodes of CBS’s CSI: Miami as a federal prosecutor.

‘Entertainment Tonight’, who broke the news of the music mogul’s appearance on the show, revealed P. Diddy’s character will have a conflict with David Caruso’s character Horatio and his team “not only on a case, but also in their personal lives” in the episodes, to be aired in early 2009.

Normally, I’d chide any network show that stunt casts someone like P. Diddy. However, in this case, I say go for it. CSI: Miami is ridiculous as it is. At some point, it stopped trying to even pretend to take itself seriously. If CSI: Miami was a relative, it’d be the second cousin who was dropped on their head at four months and now enjoys eating hamburgers with a side of glue. P. Diddy is like the saftey helmet that goes on top of this unfortunate child’s head.

Paris Hilton may have gotten voters into their respective polling places, but if Obama wins, it’s Diddy whose one vote put him into office. The man with the ridiculous name spoke with the AP and expressed that he felt like his vote was this country’s most important.

“I felt like my vote was the vote that put him into office. It was down to one vote, and that was going to be my vote. And that may not be true, but that’s how much power it felt like I had,” the hip-hop mogul said.

Oh, no, no, Diddy. It’s totally true. You want to know why? Because you are a millionaire rap mogul and by default, your one vote is worth far more than that of the millions of average people. That’s how our system works. That is what we fought for. That is democracy. So remember. When you guys are out at the polling booths, know that your vote doesn’t count and that little mark you’re making on that piece of paper is pointless. Diddy’s already got this in the bag.