A good way to get your ass kicked in school is to dance like how Jayden James and Sean Preston did to Toxic during a music break during Britney’s tour. This may be surprising, but if you’re a dude, writhing around like your mother isn’t something other guys find “cool”.

Britney Spears is on the cover of the more and more irrelevant Rolling Stone magazine. In it, she talks about her two kids and how one of them has been using the word “fuck” liberally.

She tells the prestigious magazine: ‘Every time they come to visit me, I think about how much they’re such special people.

‘(But they) are starting to learn words like ‘stupid’, and Preston says the F-word now sometimes.

‘He must get it from his daddy (Kevin Federline). I say it, but not around my kids.’

Except most of the time Britney doesn’t even know when her kids are around so there goes that theory. Sean Preston could be crawling around the stove top and Britney wouldn’t even notice before turning it on to boil a pot of water. I hear one time Britney couldn’t find Jayden James for three weeks. He ended up being at the bottom of a dirty laundry basket trying to escape by using a frappucino stained shirt and a pair of earrings as a grappling hook.

Update: Added more photos

Britney Spears finally attended her deposition yesterday, but decided to go bat shit insane later in the night. Police were called to Britney’s house at around 8 p.m. to resolve a custody dispute between the pop star and her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, after the train-wreck refused to hand over Jayden James to K-Fed’s bodyguards (Sean Preston was taken earlier in the day). While mediating the dispute, the cops discovered Britney Spears was “under the influence of an unknown substance.” Ambulances, fire trucks, multiple police cruisers and even a police chopper soon made their way to Britney’s house. She was then strapped to a gurney and taken to Cedars-Sinai where she flipped off the paparazzi as she was wheeled out of the ambulance. She is now on “medical hold” which is just a fancy way of saying she’s undergoing a mental evaluation. The LAPD told OK! Magazine,

“We are concerned about her mental state and believe she may be under the influence,” an LAPD officer reveals to OK!.

While witnesses describe Britney as definitely being on drugs,

“She was sobbing as she was taken out of her house on a gurney.” When she arrived at the hospital, she had managed to force herself to sit straight upright, despite being strapped into the gurney. “Her eyes were like pinholes,” another witness recalls to OK!.

*cough* Attention whore *cough* So, not only is she sleeping with married paparazzo, Adnan Ghalib, she’s also holding her babies hostage. Fantastic. Although, if you think about it, Britney holding her kids hostage is no big deal since rescuing them is easy. According to that episode of MythBusters I saw, all you have to do is distract Britney by dangling a pork chop covered in whipped cream and chocolate syrup in front of her while someone goes to grab the children. Then when the kids are safe, hit her with a shovel. That last part wasn’t in the episode. Could you tell?

Watch the leather, blood!

Sean Preston Fererline was seen driving around in his mini-Escalade looking for his first DUI. What are those? 24′s? 26′s?! Dayam playa. I’m surprised they still make these things. I remember riding in one. It was a Jeep and it broke after a month. Apparently, they weren’t designed for hit-and-runs and people tend to get a little cranky when you’re barreling down a hill at them from behind. Their girly shrieks of terror were worth it though.