Victoria’s Secret supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio showed up to the grand opening of Marquee Dayclub at the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas on Saturday. Wearing a dress held together by string, she stood next to a pregnant Selma Blair. Well… that’s just mean.

Friend: Hey, Selma. Why so sad? Your dog die or something?
Selma Blair: *Breaks down in tears*

Fame says Selma Blair met a friend outside a restaurant in LA and got “very hormonal” that her “one-eyed dog Wink passed away earlier this morning.” Not to make light of this.. wait, I already did, huh? Well, not to make light of this any more but “Wink?” That’s like naming your kid with an iron lung, “Huffy.” That dog probably died from embarrassment.

I know this isn’t real and Selma Blair is only goofing around, but I feel we should burn her at the stake just in case. One can never be too careful.

TMZ put up this picture of Selma Blair eating it while riding a scooter on the set of Kath and Kim. It’s unclear whether this was part of the script or not, but I always enjoy celebrities scrubbing hard on toys meant for eight year olds. It brings joy to my cold, icy heart.

It looks like Selma Blair figured out a photog was taking pictures of her so she started putting on her clothes. Shame on you photog. Why have you not learned the fine art of beach camoflauge. It’s easy. I do it all the time to catch seagulls aka lunch. I learned it from this guy.

If you’re into dowdy looking girls wearing pink cowboy hats, then you’ve come to the right place. Here’s Selma Blair on the set of Kath and Kim; bow legged, picking her ass and disinterested. Coincidentally, this also describes all of your dates.

For whatever reason, Selma Blair decided to wear a see-through dress with no bra the other day in Manhattan. She looks like she’s straight from the 50′s, but I suspect that if she wore this during that time, they would have caned her or something. So instead of that awkward expression she has now, you would see one of confusion as rocks were being thrown at her.