Sweet baby jesus, no. Six seasons and two movies later, Sarah Jessica Parker still wants to soldier on with the depressing Sex and the City franchise. From Us,

“I would go back,” the 45-year-old actress told the L.A. Times from the set of her new movie, I Don’t Know How She Does It. “I think there’s one more story to tell. I know there is.”

“I’d definitely tell that [third] story, and I know Michael would do it right,” she says. “But maybe not now. Maybe in five years, you know?”

Why the wait? “It’s not that I want to get away from it,” the mom of three explained. “In a million years, who could get away from it?”

The actress also balks at reports claiming the next Sex and the City installment could be a prequel — one which would reportedly enlist Gossip Girl’s Blake Lively as a young Bradshaw.

“I was like, ‘Wha-a-a-a-t?’” Parker said. “There are a lot of important and interesting stories that 21-year-olds can tell. I don’t begrudge any 21-year-old the opportunity to tell their stories. They prove to us on an everyday basis that they’re interesting. Even their narcissism is interesting. Even their inertia is interesting. Even their tonal speech patterns are interesting.”

Did she seriously say in five years? Oh how I hope HD doesn’t get HD’er if this is true. But how is Kim Cattrall going to star in this? Is she going to be behind a table in every scene so we don’t see her walker? This is a terrible idea. This is like trying to keep a horse with a broken leg when you should be putting it out of its misery. The horse in this case is the Sex and the City series, not Sarah Jessica Parker, just in case there was any confusion.

I know it’s early but currently Sex and the City 2 is sitting at a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. There’s only 8 reviews so far and none of them are positive. Most of the reviews harp on their ridiculous fashion and tired plots.

Well what did you expect? Sarah Jessica Parker and the rest of the cast are reaching or past middle age. Who wants to watch a bunch of haggard women having hot flashes on camels in Dubai while trying to bang young looking dudes? I guarantee you if this happened in real life the guy they were hitting on would literally vomit. At what point does old women clinging to their youth become less charming and magical and more pathetic? Season 2, I believe, is the answer you’re looking for.

[Fame]

Sex and the City: The Sands of Time is coming out May 27. Be prepared to pre-purchase your tickets and dress up as a long-haired Jake Gyllenhaal. Bring swords! This is that desert prince movie, right?

The new Sex and the City 2 poster is a lot like Prince of Persia: Sands of Time but more FAAABULOUS! (If you read that in a flamboyant tone, it’d make more sense.)

I can’t see how Sex and the City is relevant anymore. Enough time has passed that the first movie lost its luster. Are women still going to flock to this like they would to half off designer dresses? Maybe or maybe not.

I see SATC as a car. Yea, you have fun using it the first 6 years, but as time passes, it breaks down. So you send it to the repair shop and eagerly await to get it back hoping that the magic it used to have will return. You drive it around once more but then give in to the fact that it’s still just a six year old beat-up car without much to offer. Wait, was that about the SATC series or Kim Cattrall’s dusty old vagina? I always get confused.

The Sex and the City 2 trailer has been released and, OMG, what lies in store for Carrie, Samantha and the gang?! Probably a wacky adventure like in a Chevy Chase Vacation movie. But much more fabulous!

Ugh, when are they going to stop trying to milk this series. By the time the third one hits, they’ll be pushing 60. Who wants to see a bunch of geriatrics “get their freak” on or discuss menstrual cramping menopause in a humorous manner? Please put your hand down, Madonna.

These shots of Miley Cyrus on the set of Sex and the City 2 make no sense. In fact, they sort of creep me out. It’s like dressing a six-year-old in a leather S&M outfit and stuffing a ball-gag in her mouth. An activity the judge recommends you stop doing, by the way. Miley should be playing with Barbies and making cupcakes in her Easy-Bake Oven, not strutting around like an old whore crying for attention. It’s out of place. Like trying to put a square peg in a round hole or watching a unicorn make out with a bear.

Sarah Jessica Parker also filmed a few flashback scenes yesterday. Here she’s dressed as the Material Girl caked in makeup to hide her leathery skin. Some may argue the copious amount of makeup used was merely to have her appear “youthful.” Others may just solemnly cry into their hands.

You want to suspend disbelief while watching movies but there comes a point where it becomes too unbelievable. Like here for instance. Kim Cattrall filmed a scene for Sex and the City 2, possibly a flashback, and it’s really confusing how she can look even older in the 80′s than she does now. Her vagina must be like a centuries old crypt. Like if you opened it, thousands of ghosts would come screaming out and you’d be cursed for all eternity. I mean, why wouldn’t guys want to stick their penis in that?

Sarah Jessica Parker filmed scenes for Sex and the City 2 yesterday. It was probably a flashback judging by the 80′s attire and the fact they made SJP ten times uglier. Is that possible? Clearly it is.

Hopefully these photos will tide you over until the movie is released because I know you’re all waiting with breathless anticipation for opening day when you’ll get to see 2 million women who’ve synced their cycles walk out of the theatre crying followed by the only two men in the theatre walk out wondering if what they just saw was really Christopher Nolan’s Inception. Honestly, nothing like the previews at all.

Good news for fans of haggard old women who F their way through New York. You’re getting a sequel!

Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis are all coming back for another installment of Sex and the City. And they’re getting raises. Big ones.

Regarding the sequel, Parker is hoping for a story “worthy of an audience.” Nixon wants the exact opposite and suggests the crew go on a “mad cap adventure.” Probably in Brazil or Mexico or any other country where it’s plausible to stumble into the middle of an ongoing orgy or something equally provocative.

Whatever they decide to do, just, please, stay away from the hi-def cameras and consider axing the Blu-Ray release. 1080p is not your friend. Maybe try filming in YouTube quality?

Sex and the City Stars Commit to Sequel! [Us]

A high-end travel agency is offering people the chance to live life just like the characters from Sex and the City. For a mere $24,000, airfare not included, customers will be able to walk, shop and be retarded just like Sarah Jessica Parker or whatever deteriorating mess they most admire from the show. From buying Jimmy Choo shoes to getting screwed in the bathroom at an “ultra-exclusive members-only club in the Meatpacking District,” something you obviously can’t do where you live normally, you’ll be able to experience the joys of middle age.

“It’s a real fantasy for women,” said Joanne Konstantinakos, 36, founder of the Destination on Location travel company. “They still talk about this show all around the world.”

Just eight to 12 women at a time will jet into the city for the five-night re-creation of everything Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda and Carrie would do.

Since many fans of the show identify with one of the four characters, the tour plans to organize a special “Perfect Saturday” of activities that each character might enjoy.

For example, Miranda-types will take a laid-back shopping trip and go for a jog in Central Park.

Those who like artsy Charlotte will go gallery-hopping, while sex-starved Samantha wanna-bes will head for Babeland, a sex-toy shop in SoHo.

Even though the tour organizers aren’t promising a Mr. Big, they do vow to give the out-of-towners a chance to hook up with real New York guys.

Carrie Bradshaw fans will be treated to a broomstick ride above New York and their choice of either a carrot or a bag of oats. Although, there’s still one important item missing from this package. A way to reclaim your dignity. Other than that, this is an incredible deal.

This would be the commercial Kim Cattrall did that has caused controversy in New Zealand. There’s no reason this should have gotten enough complaints to get Nissan to pull it. She’s just excited about driving. Much like I’m excited about getting the image of Kim Cattrall naked out of my head.