The CMT Awards took place in Nashville last night and Shania Twain made a big impression on everyone by falling on her ass while walking to the stage to present the Male Video of the Year award. She taped a response to the fall,

“I just made a complete fool of myself and experienced one of life’s most embarrassing moments. I don’t need a stunt double. I didn’t hurt myself. I have a bit of a sore thumb — that’s it. I’m gonna auction off those shoes. I’m gonna get rid of them as soon as I can. I never want to see those shoes again!”

Oh, how embarrassing. Let’s all point and laugh. Quickly. This may be the only chance we’ll get to feel better about ourselves. Pretty soon she’ll morph back into that perfect woman who’s prettier, more talented, more famous and richer than us. Haha! Loser. Guess who has two thumbs and has never fallen at the CMT Awards? *Points to self*

Shania Twain recently broke it off with her husband, Robert “Mutt” Lange, after he cheated on her (song coming soon). Today, PEOPLE posted a picture of the temptress that seduced Mutt away from Shania. Her name is Marie-Anne Thiébaud and she was a manager at Twain and Lange’s estate in Switzerland and their secretary and she’s incredibly hot and, what? Marie-Anne is on the right and Shania is on the left? Dear god, what have you done Robert, what have you done?!