A pasty Chaz Bono looking white guy was on top of Shia LaBeouf flailing his ham-fists at his head last week before someone, who apparently isn’t a friend of Shia, pulled him off.

Shea Carter, who held Shia back after the fight, tells TMZ he saw the actor inside Cinema Public House before the scuffle drunkenly bumping into people inside. One man calmly told Shia, “Hey man, watch out.” Shia took offense, saying, “Oh yea? Or what? What are you going to do about it?” That’s when the two went outside and the guy kicked Shia’s ass. Then Shia threatened to pull a knife on the guy trying to make out with him restraining him.

Afterward, Carter — a local hip hop artist and bar regular — tried to stop Shia from getting back inside, but LaBeouf got aggressive, spouting, “Well what if I grabbed my knife on you?”

Carter says he quickly grabbed Shia in an effort to protect himself in case the knife threat was serious.

Carter says the actor eventually walked away … so he went back inside the bar. But moments later, Carter says, Shia appeared outside a window and made a throat-slashing gesture at him … before leaving for the night. TMZ

Shia ran back to the bar window, made a throat-slashing gesture and scurried away. Wow, that Shia is so tough. I bet later he left a flaming bag of dog poop on his doorstep and a note that said “watch your back.”

In Vancouver to film The Friends You Keep, Shia LaBeouf was caught on camera at the tail-end of an ass kicking by a doughy, shirtless white guy outside the Cinema Public House.

No details as of yet but both were in a heated argument inside the Cinema Public House before security kicked them out. The man somehow removed his shirt and found himself on top of Shia winging punches to his head. It wasn’t rape rape, I’m told.

Someone quickly pulls off fat, white guy who jiggles away and Shia tries to go after him but friends hold him back telling him “You gotta lay low right now!” ‘Cause the fuzz is on to him, ya see?

Later, Shia’s friend pins him to the the side of the building and comforts him eliciting shouts of “Make out, ya queers!” Okay, the last part didn’t happen, but it should have.

Video via TMZ.

After seeing the Shia LaBeouf directed Kid Cudi video, Marilyn Manson was so impressed that he decided to team up with Shia to have him direct an almost seven minute “promotional trailer.” The resulting video focuses on the “Born Villain” track and is like a goth Un Chien Andalou. Says Shia,

…“we tried to make Manson’s Un Chien Andalou macabre Macbeth — that’s sort of what that became”, with further references to obscure short films like Alejandro Jodorowsky’s 1973 film The Holy Mountain and the work of Spanish filmmaker Luis Buñuel. The resulting clip is a mish-mash of dark, violent imagery, including unsanitary medical procedures, limb removal, blood spitting, and Manson offering free haircuts. In short, it’s the standard twisted visuals Marilyn Manson has built a career on. — MTV

The video is NSFW due to a bunch of nudity and one scene where Manson puts an eyeball into a vagina.

Check out the video here.

Anyone notice that Manson is looking more “normal” these days? I think it’s the receding hairline combined with minor weight gain. This is what happens with goth meets middle-age.

Shia LaBeouf was escorted out of the LA opening of The Box after getting in an altercation with a friend of Marilyn Manson. Shia and the Manson friend exchanged words when Manson’s friend lunged over the table at Shia and Shia lunged back. Security broke it up before any punches were thrown.

“Two security guards led Shia out holding his hands behind his head. His girlfriend, Karolyn Pho, was clearly upset and ran down the stairs after them. Outside, he fell onto a barricade. Swearing, he picked himself up and ran off.” — Page Six

I started to think this was an ugly lie until I read he fell onto a barricade and ran off. Yup, sounds like Shia.

Anyway, Shia’s rep denied he embarrassed himself inside and outside the club.

“[He] actually left the club early as planned … he went to see one of the bands performing in the showcase and left after they finished … exiting through a crowded room was apparently misinterpreted. No altercation occurred.” — Page Six

That’s what I always tell people when I get kicked out of a club. No, no, no. You misunderstood. I wanted to leave and security was just helping me find the way out. I’m very important, you see. Then I vomit on the sidewalk to expel the demons from my body. I’m cured!

According to a report from OK! Magazine, Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are fighting to save their marriage. Even though they were on a break, this was bound to happen when the world including BAG found out Megan slept with that dork Shia LaBeouf.

Though now, OK! Magazine reports that Megan and Brian are desperately trying to save their marriage. “He has really upset Megan and Brian,” a close source explains. “They went through an incredibly rocky period when she and Shia were filming Transofmers: Revenge of the Fallen…having Shia run his mouth now and brag about sleeping with Megan is awful for them.”

Though was it really cheating? “…technically [Megan] didn’t do anything wrong since they were on break. [Still], they are so angry at Shia.” We hope this love triangle dies out very soon! [Hollywood Life]

Whatever. I’d have bragged too. Megan Fox is hot and it’d really help dispel those viscous rumors that I sleep with dolls. First of all, I don’t. Second of all, they’re called action figures.

A source confirms to Us that Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox did indeed hookup but added that “it was when Megan and Brian broke up. They had a 10-month break before getting back together.”

The source goes on to explain that Shia and Megan bonded over filming and Michael Bay’s temper. “Believe me, that was an unhappy set. I think they were drawn together because it was so ugly working on that film.”

Makes sense. A lot of literature suggests people usually bond over stress. That’s why I make sure at the end of dates to blindfold the girl, throw her in an unmarked van and drive off really fast.

In a new interview with Details, Shia LaBeouf was asked if he and Megan Fox ever slept together while filming Transformers. He nodded his head and the interviewer most likely gave him a high five.

Asked if he hooked up with Fox, LaBeouf nods affirmatively. “Look, you’re on the set for six months, with someone who’s rooting to be attracted to you, and you’re rooting to be attracted to them,” he explains. “I never understood the separation of work and life in that situation. But the time I spent with Megan was our own thing, and I think you can see the chemistry onscreen.” When I inquire about Fox’s status at the time with her longtime boyfriend, Brian Austin Green, LaBeouf replies, “I don’t know, man. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. . . .”—repeating the phrase exactly 12 times with various intonations, as if trying to get it just right. Finally, he says, “It was what it was.” [Details]

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green seemed to hit a rough patch two years ago when the second Transformers came out so he might be telling the truth. But I have a few followup questions to see if he’s lying. First, what was having sex with Megan Fox like? Second, does her vagina really smell like roses? Third, do you have any of her panties I can smell? Don’t ask why these questions are relevant. Just answer them, man! Do you want people to believe you or not?!

Followup to the followup questions. Did you bang Rosie Huntington-Whiteley too? If so, does your girlfriend Karolyn Pho know? Also, I hate you.

I linked to this in the morning but I felt it deserved its own post. Shia LaBeouf did an interview with Hero Complex about the different vibe on the set of Transformers now that Megan Fox has left. He says it’s different. Obviously.

Shia explains that Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is better prepared to shoot in a way Fox was not. Basically, being a Victoria’s Secret model, Huntington-Whiteley is more comfortable with people telling her to push her tits out and arch her back than Megan Fox was. Shia attributes it to this woman-empowerment thing Fox developed. Oh, one of those people.

“Megan developed this Spice Girl strength, this woman-empowerment [stuff] that made her feel awkward about her involvement with Michael, who some people think is a very lascivious filmmaker, the way he films women,” LaBeouf said. “Mike films women in a way that appeals to a 16-year-old sexuality. It’s summer. It’s Michael’s style. And I think [Fox] never got comfortable with it. This is a girl who was taken from complete obscurity and placed in a sex-driven role in front of the whole world and told she was the sexiest woman in America. And she had a hard time accepting it. When Mike would ask her to do specific things, there was no time for fluffy talk. We’re on the run. And the one thing Mike lacks is tact. There’s no time for [LaBeouf assumes a gentle voice] ‘I would like you to just arch your back 70 degrees.’”

“Rosie comes with this Victoria’s Secret background, and she’s comfortable with it, so she can get down with Mike’s way of working and it makes the whole set vibe very different,” LaBeouf said.

Ugh. Don’t you hate it when actresses develop a sense of empowerment and stop wanting to be treated like objects? Where do they think they are, some liberal arts college? No, it’s Hollywood, baby, where women are passed around like a joint at one of Matthew McConaughey’s parties. At least, that’s what tv has taught me.

On the other hand, what did Megan Fox expect. Michael Bay made a private video of her washing his Ferrari for her audition. At least Bay seems pretty forward about what he needs. He’s not like those other directors who you have to decipher. If Bay wants a blowjob in exchange for a part in his movie,  he’ll probably ask for it straight up. It’s quite refreshing.

A new trailer for Transformers: Dark of the Moon launched yesterday and it’s way more Michael Bay-y than the previous ones. There’s a lot of bang, boom, blams everywhere and car crashes and Shia LaBeouf and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s pouty lips and an office building being tentacle raped.

This will be the movie event of the year! Only to be quickly forgotten in 3 weeks.

On Saturday morning, Shia LaBeouf got into a bar fight which led to him getting cuffed and suffering a split lip. Friends of Shia claim he was jumped while the guy who punched him says he was just being a dick.

The incident went down at Mad Bull’s Tavern in L.A.’s Sherman Oaks district at 1 AM. Some guy named Mark Mastro and his girlfriend wanted to get a picture with Shia so they went over to his table and sat down next to him. Shia told Mark he wanted to chill and refused to take photos. Later, Mark and his friend were out on the patio when his friend asked, “what’s up Shia?” as Shia walked out. Shia slurred, “get the fuck out of my way.” Mark said to his friend, “don’t worry, he’s just a fucking faggot anyway.” Shia bitched him out and Mark started laughing.

Shia got into his black truck which was parked out front but then “All of a sudden, he jumped out, and ran back towards the bar. He charged at me! I jumped over the patio fence onto the sidewalk to get away from him. But he kept coming after me. He was getting in my face. He was talking sh*t. He was chest-bumping me. A bouncer put Shia in a head lock. A cop just happened to be driving by and saw the commotion. He pulled up and the bouncer literally handed LeBeouf over to him.”

An eyewitness paints a slightly different picture. They say when Shia lunged at him, Mark got off first, punching Shia in the face and splitting his lip. They added,

“I saw him get hit, everyone did,” Dee says. “It caught him in the mouth. He punched him good.” Just at that moment, a police officer was driving past and looking directly into the bar, Dee says. The patrolmen called for back up and “suddenly nine cop cars were there.

“They handcuffed both of them and asked Shia if he wanted to press charges. He said no.Then they asked the other guy and he said no too, so they let them go and they went on their separate ways.” Shia is in the Mad Bull’s Tavern at least once a week and usually stays all night, reveals Dee, who works nearby and is a Mad Bull’s regular himself.

“The bar staff call him the ‘Unibomber’ because he always comes in with his hood up, wearing a hat or glasses and a scruffy beard.” Dee calls the actor’s friends a “bunch of a**holes. They are all in their early 20s and get loaded with him.”

At the end of the day, the LAPD admits officers were on scene but no arrests were made.

On one hand, haha, wannabe tough guy Shia LaBeouf got his ass kicked. Just because you play an action star in movies, doesn’t mean you are one in real life. On the other hand, getting butthurt and calling someone a faggot just because they don’t want to take stupid pictures with you, pictures that you’ll just use to impress your friends with by posting on your Facebook wall, sounds like a douchey thing to do. He sounds like the kind of guy that if he asked you out on a date and you said no, he’d probably tell everyone you had an STD.

Carey Mulligan and Shia LaBeouf were dating but now they’re not. Sources say they ended it “some time ago.” Although, the real big news is, since the split, Carey has checked into the Best Western in Hollywood Hills while filming Drive in LA.

“I don’t know why people are so down on the Best Western,” Mulligan joked to PEOPLE at Monday’s Hollywood Film Awards in L.A., where she presented her Never Let Me Go costar Andrew Garfield with an award. “They have the best sweet potato fries I’ve ever had.”

Gasp! Celebrity checks into normal people hotel! I don’t know why people are so down on the Best Western either. It beats letting a homeless guy give you a hand job in exchange for sharing his cardboard box. I mean, so I’ve heard.

Shia LaBeouf was hunched over a book wearing sunglasses at an outdoor cafe last week when he decided to act like a 2-year-old and throw a temper tantrum. Shia got up, chased a fleeing photog down the street, threw coffee on his back and then ran away like he had explosive diarrhea. Afterward when he got home, Shia stomped around his room and angrily kicked his stuffed animals while going “hmph!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lm1lAkWjFVM&feature=player_embedded

In a Parade interview with Shia LaBeouf, they asked where he got his sense of humor from. You’d expect a simple answer, but no, Shia gave one that would make therapists’ heads spin.

LaBeouf says the source of his humor is from “seeing my parents have sex, smoke weed, my mom being naked … [and] twisted R-rated humor.”

A while back, Shia also told Playboy his mother was the sexiest woman he knows. I guess he talks about his mother a lot because Hot Hits interviewed him too and asked what the weirdest thing he read about himself was.

“That I have sex with my mother on a regular basis… it’s so freaking outrageous,” Shia replied.

How often does one see their parents having sex or their mother naked? The answer is only once or never. The first time it happens, it’s an accident. After that, I’d think the frightening image seared into your mind is enough to make you avoid your parent’s bedroom and any other part of the house all together. You’d probably give yourself a five foot radius you can’t pass during certain hours of the day. Living in the house would be like that movie where once you step into the shadows, you die. Except this is worse because you’re still alive after.