Angelina Jolie and her daughter, Shiloh, spent Monday perusing Stella McCartney’s exclusive collection for kids at The Gap in Santa Monica. Zahara spent Monday locked up in the cage she shares with Pax. Radar Online reports,

“Angelia was unrecognizable at first because she’s so, so skinny,” an eyewitness at The Gap told RadarOnline.com. “She purchased two complete outfits right off the mannequins, head to toe, the shoes and everything. Then she bought a couple Junk Food t-shirts, one was a Superman emblem and a bunch of Gap watches for all the kids. She probably spent close to $500.

I can’t believe the eyewitness missed the most important piece of this story. The Gap watches weren’t for all the kids. They were representative of the number of kids she has with Brad to send to Jennifer Aniston via 2-day shipping. By Thursday, we’re going to see pictures released of Jennifer weeping on the Thanksgiving set of Friends while wearing a necklace fashioned out of six Gap watches. Mark my words.

Both Shiloh and Pax Jolie-Pitt lost their front tooth. Amazing, I know. I know because these kids and I lead the exact same life. We traipse around the world on a whim and spend an infinite amount of our parents’ money on whatever we please. Of course, most of my traveling and traipsing is done in my parents’ basement. Sometimes, if I’m well-behaved, my mom will give me an allowance. Yep, I’m living my life to it’s fullest potential just like the Jolie-Pitts.

Us Magazine shows the siblings shopping at Toys ‘R Us in Toulon, France along with Angelina and Zahara.  Upon hearing this news, Jennifer Aniston was found rocking back and forth on a cold, hard floor chanting Brad’s name while dressed as the tooth fairy.

In February’s edition of Elle U.K., Angelina Jolie says she’s more partial to her adopted children rather than her natural-born child. She goes on to call Maddox and Zee survivors while Shiloh is just a lifeless blob.

Shiloh seemed so privileged from the moment she was born. I have less inclination to feel for her…I met my other kids when they were six months old, they came with a personality.

Wait, but doesn’t adopting those children make them privileged too? I’m so confused. Folks, I gotta take some time to think this one through. By thinking through I mean studying Angelina Jolie’s bouncing boobs in the unrated version of Original Sin. You know, the movie where Anotonio Banderas and her get it on. There’s a more crass description of the scene, but gentlemen shouldn’t use such language. More of her interview here. Oh and $10 bucks says Shiloh turns into an attention starved slut when she grows up.

Shiloh became the first baby ever to be immortalized in wax at Madame Tussauds. She was unveiled today for everyone to gawk at. As you can see, they decided to do the whole family, but decided to cut out the adopted children which proves something I’ve been saying all along. Adopted children are not worthy of wax. Thank god the billion dollar wax figure industry understands this.

As you can see in the photos. Brad Pitt looks more like a rapist than Brad Pitt and he’s wearing a backwards baseball hat which is what rapists wear. They also chose to not give Angelina a bra. Good for them.

By now, everyone has seen the pictures of Shiloh. But, did anyone notice that on the cover picture of People magazine, Shiloh is wearing a t-shirt that says, “The Pots & Pans Band.” Suprisingly, some people do pay attention to what a baby wears on a magazine cover and are now flooding Belly Maternity with orders. These people are willing to pay $42 for a baby t-shirt that is going to be drooled and puked on. $42 for a shirt that strangers will not even notice. A shirt that the baby will outgrow in a year or less. A random piece of clothing that Shiloh got for free.

I don’t know what goes through the minds of these people. My only guess is they think their baby will have a better life if they’re dressed the same as celebrity babies. They’ll be disappointed to learn that, despite how gnarly their baby is dressed, women will still just be leaning over the carriage, showing them their cleavage and making cooing noises at them. And really, isn’t that the only reason we carry them around?

Source

This weekend at the box office, Cars took the top spot with $62.8 million. Not a bad opening, but not that great either, especially when you compare it to other Pixar films of the past. They made near the same amount as Monsters Inc. did in 2001, but also back then tickets weren’t $10. The Break-Up took #2 with a 48% drop, which would mean even Vince Vaughn couldn’t save it. X-Men: The Last Stand dropped 54% to be #3. I’m not at all suprised since this would be Brett Ratner’s rape of a franchise. A Prairie Home Companion took in $4.7 million despite opening in only 760 theatres bringing it into the top 10 at #7.

I know you people don’t get out much, so here are some other tidbits for you.

• The trailer for Fearless, Jet Li’s last martial arts movie. Another older Fearless trailer from Rogue.
• Set pics and a video taken in New York of Spider-Man 3.
• Sir Paul McCartney’s wife Heather was in a German porn book before she lost her leg. Some pictures of Heather McCartney from the book.
• Shiloh was the name of Vince Vaughn’s imaginary friend in Wedding Crashers.
• Paris Hilton is still an idiot hitting other people’s cars and driving away.

Shiloh is back for another viewing. I don’t think some people can handle all these Shiloh pictures. If your head doesn’t explode from them, then you must have a black heart or maybe have bad eyesight. Of course, everything looks cuter when they’re smaller or a baby, which is why I have this mallet and these diapers.

Source

Shiloh pictures have already started appearing. This is just after People bid $4 million on this through Getty Images. This is probably the fastest any baby has been whored out.

After the birth of Angelina Jolie’s baby, Evan Spiegel of Lavely & Singer bought her two domain names, shilohnouveljoliepitt.com (.net/.org/.info) and ShilohJoliePitt.com. Looks like Shiloh’s countdown to legality will have to be put somewhere else. Here she is being fat and lazy in Namibia.

Source