It’s that time of year again. The time of year where I mentally check out early and wish you Merry Holidays. Hopefully Lindsay Lohan will be kind enough not to OD later today so I can enjoy stuffing my mouth with discount chocolates.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fBhMB9ExVk&feature=player_embedded

Some of you may have noticed the site has been partially loading and if you refresh a couple of times, it’ll load completely. No, this isn’t my sneaky way of increasing pageviews but hopefully that’ll be an awesome side effect. I’m not sure why it’s doing that right now but my first guess is an ad of some sort. Actually, that’s my only guess. Until I can figure it out, refresh a couple of times to get the whole page. I wish I had a system to have this message at the top of every page. Grr. I’m so angry I could punch a hooker. In the meantime, enjoy the video of Jessica Simpson eating a biscuit.

Sad news. Kim, who you saw write once in a while, has left. Now, The Blemish is hiring 1 or 2 more writers, preferably in the US, to join Jessica and Seamus. Sort of. I’m looking for people who can write I’m either away or kicking the server because it’s so damn frustrating when it keeps going down. There will be some pay, but don’t expect to quit your day job.

Email theblemish (at) gmail (dot) com with at least three writing samples on current gossip and a link to your blog if you have one. Do not just send links to posts on your blog. Be familiar with the writing style and up to date with the news and remember to source. This may even turn into a more permanent thing if you’re really awesome. As a bonus, you get your name in a byline. Fancy, huh?

I was having some trouble with the CDN yesterday so the large pictures were borked. Everything should work now.

Just for today, a few new writers will be posting in sort of a trial by fire audition. I’ll be popping in and out while working on some behind the scenes stuff (groping supermodels). Let me know what you think. Oh and don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not. I’m like the wife you never wanted.

I’ve been told that an ad on this site is attempting to install malware or a virus. I think I’ve disabled the ad, but am not 100% sure. If anyone is experiencing any warnings, take a screen shot of the page and let me know. It may happen only in IE and not Chrome or Firefox.

Also, if you want a good anti-virus program, look into AVAST free or AVG Free although AVG has become a little bloated.

What does the Paris Hilton banner have to do with viruses? Do I even have to dignify that with an answer?

The Blemish has stepped into the 21st century and has joined Twitter. If you like your celebrity mockery in 140 characters or less, come follow @ http://twitter.com/theblemish. You won’t be disappointed. Well, okay, you will, but only slightly.

Everything should be back to normal now. I was an idiot and forgot to double check the code before tinkering with it. This is why I can never have nice things. That and I’m poor.

Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy your turducken or your bacon wrapped turkey, but remember if you have a heart attack, no one is taking your ass to the hospital.

Happy Labor Day and all that. I’ll see you Tuesday. Possibly later today if I’m so inclined. Until then, check out Bridget Marquart at The Pool at Harrah’s. It’s like a scene from King Kong except there’s less people eating and more boobs. Same frightened expression though. And instead of scaling the Empire State Building at the end of the day, she’ll be scaling Hugh Hefner’s penis. 

The comments and a few other things are broken. I am still trying to figure out why. I guess I’m not whipping my indentured servants hard enough.

It’s Memorial Day which means the time wasters will return tomorrow. Actually, this is just an excuse to fix the site which I inadvertently broke. Say, how long do you think it’ll take me to capture and train a couple of monkeys to fix this site? Four? Five hours max?

I managed to hit the top 3 Movers & Shakers list on Alexa! This probably won’t be happening again anytime soon so just let me bask in the glory before making fun of me. A lot of traffic is being pushed off of a single dedicated server which is not without its problems, but it’s nonetheless amazing. Thanks to Acunett for being awesome admins who, although sometimes slower than I’d like, know what they’re doing and Softlayer for having kick-ass data centers. Here’s to hoping Kira is biding his/her time to release the rest of those pictures and if they do, please send them to “jesuschrist@stopleavingyouremailaddresses.com”.

Thanks to everyone who visits. Tell all your friends. I’ll give you something special. Like love.