What’s more pathetic? That I’m kind of excited about seeing a glimmer of Sophia Bush’s left ass cheek or that I found a week old slice of pizza under my bed and am contemplating eating it?

Sophia Bushed showed up at the Teen Choice Awards over the weekend. There’s no news to go with this. I just wanted to say Sophia Bush is hot and I’d do things with her only imaginable in fairy tales. Like, fall in love and eat a gingerbread house. But not too much. Don’t want her getting fat or nothin’. Oh yea and I’d like to have sex with her. That would be pretty sweet too.

Just a reminder, Sophia Bush is hot. Here she is at the ESPY Awards taunting me with her sexy smile and tight ass. Don’t tease me Sophia, I’ll break into your house and steal your panties soon enough.

Anorexia has become an increasingly common issue among young women in Hollywood as well as regular folk. In the latest issue of CosmoGIRL!, Brittany Snow reveals that she too suffered from it and credits best friend Sophia Bush for helping her beat a nine year battle with the disorder.

“Sophia gives really, really good advice,” Snow, 22, reveals in the May issue of CosmoGIRL!. “I was going through a difficult time, and she was going through a difficult time figuring out the whole Chad [Michael Murray split] thing.

“We had so many slumber parties where she held my hand [as we worked] through a lot of different things,” Snow goes on. “When somebody can be there through something like that, they’re a friend forever.”

Brittany and Sophia had “so many slumber parties” where they “worked through a lot of different things.”So, does that mean they, like, made out? With tongue? And did they strip naked and pillow fight while feathers rained down around them? And did they finish the evening by going down on each other? Because clinical psychologists agree that this is a great way to battle anorexia. Rawr. I didn’t know eating disorders could sound this erotic. Usually when people talk to me about anorexia, it’s about how they took a dump in a plastic container and weighed it.

Apart from the their red lipsticks making them look like common circus clowns and Kristen Bell’s donkey-like braying sending Hayden Panettiere into a state of confused shock, these pictures are pretty hot. Kristen Bell, Sophia Bush, Hayden Panettiere and Blake Lively together? Touching? On the arms AND shoulders? Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined this could happen. It’s as if God wrangled all the sexy ladies from my head and said, “Today, I’m going to tease you with thinly veiled lesbianism and burritos.” Fantastic, I say, but I ask you God, where are my burritos?! More after the jump.

Sophia Bush walked her crazy looking pit bull — it’s eyes freak me out — in some short shorts the other day. On her ass it says “Love pink.” Whoa. Me too. We should totally hook up and “love pink” together. I’ll “love pink” with you all night long and “love pink” all over your face. Yes, exactly. Confused? Me too! *backs away slowly*

Here’s Sophia Bush filming a movie called The Narrows. The photo above has convinced me to see it upon release. Then again, I say that about every image of a hot girl making a facial expression that can be loosely construed as her climaxing. It’s just my nature. Also in my nature: giving women mind blowing orgasms. Call me ladies. Remarkably, I’m still single.

• Paula Abdul is woman of the year. [Yeeeah!]
• Jaime Pressly pregnant at the SAG Awards. [Celebrity Smack]
• Leo is single. [Evil Beet]
• More from Paris Exposed here and here. [Celebitchy]
• Paris Hilton’s ass backwards upskirt. [CityRag]
• Eva Mendes at Ghost Rider. [ICYDK]
• Mary-Kate Olsen has no taste. [Celebslam]
• Miss USA admits to being an alcoholic. [ASL]
• Michelle Rodriguez is still alive. [Glitterati]
• Sophia Bush is still sexy. [Bastardly]

Sophia Bush was on TRL promoting her new Hollywood horror remake movie The Hitcher. The synopsis:

Collegiate couple Grace Andrews (Sophia Bush) and Jim Halsey (Zachary Knighton) hit the road in a 1970 Oldsmobile 442, en route to spring break , but their pleasure trip soon turns into a waking nightmare after encountering the mysterious hitchhiker John Ryder, a.k.a. The Hitcher (Sean Bean). The initial encounters with Ryder are increasingly off-putting for Grace and Jim, and they bravely fight back when he ambushes them. But they are truly blindsided when he implicates them in a horrific slaying and continues to shadow them. The open road becomes a battleground of blood and metal as, in trying to elude not only Ryder but also New Mexico State Police Lieutenant Esteridge’s (Neal McDonough) officers, Grace and Jim must fight for their lives and face their fears head-on.

Watch this. I’m going to predict that this movie will place third at the box office opening day. I predict most critics will give this movie a bad review. It will languish in the theaters and drop out of the top 10 in 4 weeks. Subsequently, Sophia Bush will be heart broken. I will comfort her in my amazingly masculine arms. We will be together. Two months later, she will betray me. That’s when I realize the bone saw I bought on eBay was not just an impulse buy.

It’s like they took all the hotness from UPN and WB and combined them into one super hottie network called CW which should now be known as Cream Week because that’s what these pictures are gonna make me do. Cream for a week. How did Erica Durance get this hot? More after the jump.

The Teen Choice Awards always provides with entertainment in the form of pictures. Pictures such as those of Brandon Routh who’s t-shirt is as puzzling as his sexuality, Rachel Bilson who is tiny, Johnny Depp still being grungy, Keanu Reeves looking like a well dressed homeless man, Carmen Electra’s breasts touching Jessica Simpson’s breasts, Jessica Alba with the Fez guy and more.