Years from now people will ask the question, “Who is Stephanie Pratt?” But they won’t ask it like, “Who. Is. Stephanie Pratt?,” as if she’s the world’s most interesting person who’s surrounded by an impenetrable mystique. They’ll ask it like, “Man, who the fuck is this Stephanie Pratt bitch?,” as if they were going to kick your ass if you kept bugging them with your stupid questions. Anyway, here she is in Maxim.

Stephanie Pratt, not to be confused with anyone of importance, was arrested for DUI early Sunday morning at around 3:45 AM in Hollywood. A source tells TMZ cops watched Stephanie get into her car and were waiting to bust her after she left Holly Montag’s birthday party. Her bail is set at $5,000.

But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is this doesn’t change the fact that she’s still Spencer Pratt’s sister. Sorry, Stephanie. As they say, putting yourself in a drunken stupor to forget you’re a Pratt: temporary, your douchebag brother: forever. Something like that.

Holly Montag, Stacie Hall and Stephanie Pratt begged their way into the Asics VMA party at 40/40 so they could party with Jay-Z, Rihanna and Justin Timberlake. Pleading with security wasn’t the most embarrassing part of the evening though. That came when Pratt’s credit card was declined after ordering a bottle of champagne. Haha, you suck. Page Six reports:

She asked Montag to hand over her card and left with Hall. A source said Holly appeared not to want to pay for the bottle, “but the waitress wouldn’t give her card back until she signed the bill.” Pratt also made a scene at In Touch Weekly’s shindig at St. Bart’s church. A spy says she wandered around looking “wobbly” and was later “hysterically crying . . . She was a total mess.”

It’s eerie how much Stephanie and Holly’s relationship resembles Spencer and Heidi’s. Both Montags allow themselves to be used by the Pratt’s. The only difference is there’s much less hysterical crying with Stephanie than there is with Spencer.

Stephanie Pratt, who is Spencer Pratt’s sister, god have mercy on her soul, hit up Malibu Beach to film scenes for The Hills, the totally non-scripted reality show. Kristin Cavallari came along for the ride but did not get into a bikini. It’s like she knew someone was watching her. Was it those letters I sent that read, “I’m watching you,” that gave it away? I should be more discreet from now on. Next time I’ll just glue two googly eyes on a blank piece of paper with “Hi!” written underneath in blood red. I think Kristin would appreciate the fact that she has super fans.

The Stephanie Pratt bikini pics start here.

Lauren Conrad and Stephanie Pratt are still in Hawaii “working” at the beach or wherever. And though Stephanie’s chest may not be as ample as Audrina’s, Lauren can’t help but stare. How rude. Didn’t her mother teach her it’s impolite to stare. Especially when the other girl’s chest is nothing to write home about. It instills in them false confidence and that’s not very nice.