Stephen Dorff and British reality star Leilani Dowding got together around the time of the Golden Globes but their relationship ended when Stephen started flirting with one of her friends at a club. Turns out Stephen doesn’t just look like a douchebag in all his photos, he is one.

When Leilani asked him about it, “Stephen went ballistic and that was the first time she got a glimpse of his temper. She became fearful of him at that point and removed herself from the situation. The two ended their relationship shortly after that night, but that was only the beginning of the nightmare for Leilani.”

As luck would have it, Stephen has been taking relationship lessons from Mel Gibson because soon after, Stephen began a “campaign of terror” against her, calling her a whore at clubs and sending threatening text messages, one of which read, “you need to go back to England in a box.” Leilani is now thinking about going to the cops when she gets back to LA.

Whoa, slow down. Maybe Dowding misinterpreted that text. Maybe “box” is what Stephen calls an airplane and he wasn’t actually implying that he wishes her dead and that her body be flown back to her family in England so they know what happens to “stupid whores.”

I was looking at the Jennifer Aniston photos from Elle’s 18th Annual Women in Hollywood Tribute and stumbled on these two photos placed perfectly side by side. On purpose maybe?

It’s Stephen Dorff on the left and Joel McHale on the right. It’s eery how similar they look save for the depression emanating from Stephen Dorff. Stephen Dorff is basically a sad Joel McHale. Like, if Joe McHale’s career plateaued and his most memorable movie was still Blade from 1998, he’d look like Stephen Dorff does now.

Stephen Dorff has a hard time with the ladies. At a Malibu party, the might as well be out of work actor had his ego crushed trying to pick-up a girl.

Approaching one beauty, “He said, ‘Hey,’ in this smarmy way and asked her when they were going to go out,” said an eavesdropper. “She told him, ‘Likely never,’ and he turned completely red and asked, ‘Why not?’ ” When the woman responded that Dorff was not her type, he responded, “What? Really good-looking is not your type?” He then walked away. “It was hysterical.”

That story is funny on its own. Ah, yes. Life is always better when other people do your work for you. Like my neighbor who takes my trash out for me after I dump it in his backyard. Thanks friend.