There was a rumor that Elisabetta Canalis and Steve-O were dating. Most people thought there was no way because Steve-O is a big step down from George Clooney. But it’s true and there’s the photo to prove it. Steve-O and Elisabetta were spotted making out in LA making out on Monday.

Let this be a warning, Stacy Keibler. When George Clooney tells you he’s the best you’ll ever have, it’s not a joke. It’s the truth. It’s better you realize it now instead of in 6 months when you’re dating Bam Margera.

Steve-O missed his court date yesterday. As a result, he forfeited his $10,000 bail. Despite this, his lawyer says he’s “doing great. He’s been in the hospital for two weeks. But he will be at the next court hearing.”

Steve-O is currently at Cedars Sinai Medical Center for substance abuse treatment which may be the reason for his absence at his felony cocaine possession hearing. I think. Whatever. I don’t really care. This guy is crazy. Four years ago, I gave him six months before he died from perforating his colon with a firecracker. He’s surpassed all my expectations. At this point I’m just amazed he’s still breathing without the help of a machine and is sometimes coherent.

This video posted yesterday on Steve-O’s YouTube account shows you exactly why I don’t like being kicked in the balls, have firecrackers launched off my balls or have my balls nailed to a board. The side-effects are that you become retarded. Or is being retarded a prerequisite? Look, I don’t know. I’m not a psychologist. All I know is that Steve-O was sent to Thalians Mental Health Center on Sunday for being crazy and that if you come at my balls with anything other than Heidi Klum’s tongue, I will beat you with my shoe.

I love the fact that the guy says he’s sober, but when he looks into the camera he still has white powder in his nose.

Update: He just wrote on his blog.

“You should all know I am in the looney bin”

“They call it “code 5150,” that means “psycho,”legally, f*ckin bat-sh*t, certifiably. I’m outta my mind, believe-you-me. How’d I get this way? How can this be? It’s gotten so bad there’s nothing left of me.”

“Johnny Knoxville, Jeff Tremaine, Big Regg, Swizz, Rick Kosick, Dimitry Elyaschevich, Cordell Mansfield, and Trip Taylor came to my home and, physcially [sic], forced me into the hospital.”

Steve-O went on Howard Stern yesterday and talked about how Lindsay Lohan stole his cocaine.

The freaky comic, who laughed uncontrollably while saying he likes to inhale nitrous oxide from whipped cream cans, said Lohan took what he called the “Boog Suge” from him after she forgot her wallet in his bathroom and came back to his place to get it. There’s even proof she was there – Lohan had to sign a release while at Steve-O’s house for a DVD he was filming at the time.

The story isn’t that Lindsay Lohan does coke because we all know she’d snort rails from a dirty ashtray. The story is that they’re calling Steve-O a comic. Nailing your balls to a piece of wood and setting your hair on fire makes you retarded, not a comic. The little boy that rides down my street in a pink bicycle and orange helmet is funnier than Steve-O. Especially when I throw a stick in between the spokes of his bicycle. It’s hilarious. At least I think so. The neighbors just stand there looking shocked. I guess they don’t get the joke.

I’m leaving tomorrow for Vegas. I haven’t been there in a couple months, but I hear rates have gotten more competitive and you get free hookers on your birthday. Sweet. If my site has problems when I’m gone, feel free to send me email belittling me. I’ll be back sometime Monday maybe, Tuesday at the latest.

• While I’m gone, don’t go see Stomp The Yard. [Pajiba]
• Courtney Cox and her vibrator on Dirt. It sounds like she needs to mow the lawn? [Dlisted]
• Miss Nevada Katie Rees could be in Playboy. [Evil Beet]
• Will Smith and family at Rome Pursuit of Happyness premiere. [Celebitchy]
• Vivica A. Fox destroyed herself with plastic surgery. [Celebrity Smack]
• Mischa Barton no longer the face of Bebe. [A Socialite's Life]
• Steve-O comes clean. [Cityrag]
• Rosie O’Donnell and Howard Stern make up. [INO]
• Madonna keeps talking about her adoption. [Popsugar]
• Rihanna got injured. [Bastardly]

Kevin Federline has gone back to partying just as fast as he deposited his filthy seed into Britney. Three weeks after the birth of SPF2 (I don’t remember the baby’s name and I don’t care enough to look it up), he showed up at Tao and booked a table for two nights .

“He was surrounded by women, was drinking a lot and dancing on the banquette. Every time one of the girls tried to take a picture, he freaked out and wouldn’t let them.”

K-Fed sure is the loving father. Why else would he leave his child to the mother wolf? We haven’t seen Britney or her kid for a while now. Is it possible that she mistook him for a ham? Only time will tell as we continue with the harrowing saga of the man with punctured condoms.

Also at the one year anniversary of Tao was Steve-O who was kicked out for stripping naked and jumping into the rose petal tubs where the pretty girls lounge. Do I even need to mention he peed in it? There’s something really wrong with this guy. Wait no, there’s something really wrong with the doorman if he didn’t see the note written in big red Sharpie that says “DO NOT LET IN STEVE-O. HE WILL PEE ON SOMETHING AND IT WON’T BE THE TOILET!”