The Blemish

'suri cruise' Posts

Katie Holmes Explains Those Penis Gummies

A while back, photos were taken of Suri Cruise with a box of penis gummies in her hand. Presumably because the package promised fruity flavored penis gummies. Who wouldn’t want ... Read More »

Suri Cruise Is a Girl, Shiloh Is a Tomboy

Suri Cruise and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt grace the cover of Star magazine this week and it’s basically a comparison between the two which concludes that Suri is a girly girl and ... Read More »

Suri Cruise Is Fashionable

Suri Cruise was spotted Monday rocking a pair of stylish high heel shoes while shopping in Boston. It would have been the picture of perfection had her haggard, brain-washed ... Read More »

Suri Cruise Celebrated Her Birthday

The space alien known as Suri Cruise celebrated her third birthday on Thursday afternoon. The princess-themed party featured a cake of Belle from Beauty and the Beast and a treasure ... Read More »

Katie Holmes Has Herpes

Egads, way to ruin another fantasy of mine, Reality. Katie Holmes had a herpes outbreak the other day in NYC and Suri seemed to be at a loss for words. ... Read More »

Forbes.com Needs to Register Themselves

In what many are calling Forbes.com’s creepiest article this year, the money-centric site has named Suri Cruise the hottest among their second annual list of “Hollywood’s 10 Hottest Tots.” “Though not ... Read More »

Suri Cruise Has Lived for Billions of Years

Suri Cruise lives with very few rules because based on the teachings of Scientology, Tom believes she’s already lived for billions of years and knows everything. That’s not to say ... Read More »

Suri Is a Strong Woman

At a Glamour magazine event for V-Day’s 10th anniversary, Katie Holmes praised her daughter Suri calling her a very strong woman and admits to being taught a lot by her. ... Read More »

Tom Cruise Is Still a Weirdo

Tom Cruise’s wacky religion has developed its own way of doing most everything. Including how to feed babies. Take, for example, Suri Cruise, Tom Cruise’s hybrid offspring, who was “fed ... Read More »

Suri Cruise Turns 1

One year ago today, the successful Scientology experiment codenamed Suri Cruise was born. How she was conceived is still a mystery plaguing top researchers to this day. Many claim Suri ... Read More »

Suri Cruise Is Revealed

I’m only gone for three days and the world blows up. I missed a few big things which I’ll post just because I know you miss me. The first is ... Read More »

Vanity Fair Has Suri

The Post is reporting Vanity Fair has landed the first photos of Suri and are set to publish them this fall. The photos were taken by celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz. ... Read More »

Someone Has Seen Suri

Fellow Scientologist Leah Remini claims she has seen Suri Cruise. She describes her as a beaming baby who looks just like Tom and Kate. If these two want to squash ... Read More »

The Suri Cruise Conspiracy

TMZ is going crazy with Suri Cruise conspiracy theories. They are doing some deep digging into Suri’s birth certificate. They note that only a couple of pictures of Katie Holmes ... Read More »

Tom Cruise Is Disappointed

Wondering why you haven’t seen any pictures of Tom Cruise’s daughter Suri? No? Too bad because I’m gonna tell you anyway. No one wanted to pay any money for her. ... Read More »