Arnold Schwarzenegger posted on his WhoSay page the above snapshot of him and Sylvester Stallone side by side in hospital beds waiting for shoulder surgery.

He wrote, “After all the action, stunts & physical abuse shooting The Expendables 2 and The Last Stand, it was time for a little tune up on my shoulder. Look who was coincidentally waiting in line behind me for his shoulder surgery. Now we’re ready for another round of great times and action when we shoot The Tomb.“

When you’re 20 something, you run into friends at a bar. When you’re 60 something, you run into friends in hospital rooms while waiting for surgery on your joints. Maybe they’ll bond some more later by sharing a glass of Metamucil and reminisce about the good old days while they do hormone replacement therapy. Because when you’re that age, it isn’t about how much you can bench, it’s about how much synthetic hormones doctors can physically pump into you.

Sylvester Stallone is shooting The Expendables and judging from this picture of Sly running around holding his gun like he was at a tea party, it looks like it will be a manly affair.

Instead of live ammo, Stallone’s gun will shoot love bullets and everyone will settle their differences with either a debate or fashion show. Rated PG-13 for a rough kickball scene and kissing on the cheek.

Sylvester Stallone, driving a “totally pimped, all-black VW Phaeton,” narrowly avoided hitting a man crossing the street. But no harm was done and no feelings were hurt because both were at fault. Stallone was on his cell and the guy couldn’t hear a car barreling towards him through his headphones. Stallone and the guy even shared a “moment” and a fist bump. Page Six reports:

“The car skidded into the crosswalk, stopping just short of my buddy, who dove to the ground,” our source continued. “When he looked up, he saw a guy wearing a shocked expression, in red leather bomber-type jacket, gripping the wheel with one hand as the other held his cell against his ear.

“Like the hot-headed New Yorker he is, my buddy started yelling, ‘Are you [bleep]ing kidding me?’

“Then he realized it was Sly. He told me, ‘How was I gonna yell at Stallone? I mean, I love the guy since I was a kid. It’d be almost an honor to say Rocky knocked me out at a Beverly Hills crosswalk.’ ”

The muscle-bound action hero “couldn’t have been more of a gentleman. He jumped out immediately to see if my friend was all right. But he couldn’t hear Sly’s concern because he was still wearing his earphones,” our source continued.

“This prompted Sly, with a smile, to twirl his index finger next to his temple to indicate maybe he was crazy to cross deafened by music. My pal immediately pointed at Sly’s cell, still in his hand. They each looked at their devices and then both of them broke out laughing, realizing all parties were guilty as charged.

“Sly extended a hand, pulled my buddy up, and asked, ‘You all right?’ When my friend assured him he was, Sly offered, ‘You sure, you need a ride or anything? Can I give you a lift?’ My friend politely declined. They fist-bumped, then with a smile, Sly showed him he was sticking his cell in his jacket before jumping back into his VW.”

Tell me. Did Stallone whip out a pack of Mentos, pop one in his mouth and wink after they both realized neither of them were concentrating on what they should be doing? Because that would make for a great commercial. It would go well with the other one I had in mind where one skydiver turns another skydiver’s parachute into a novelty can of worms and right before the guy hits the ground, the other skydiver pops a Mentos, smiles and gives the thumbs up. It’s part one of five in my series of “Things I Want To Do To Paris, Illustrated in 60 Second Ad Spots.”

Sylvester Stallone may be 62, but HGH makes him feel 35. Thanks HGH!

Via AICN.

On his show, Howard Stern asked Sly Stallone about his ex’s, Janice Dickinson, allegation that he injected her with steroids while sleeping. Sly’s reply?

“The only thing I injected her with was my fist.”

Ha! I always knew Janice Dickinson was a fan of fisting. She’s too annoying not too. What? Oh, he was actually joking about punching her? That works too, I guess. Leave it to Sly Stallone to inject humor into the serious epidemic of supermodel abuse. Come on. Who hasn’t fantasized about punching Janice Dickinson in the face or kicking her in the nuts? Amiright?

Some stills from his new flick opening today.

Janice Dickinson, a fame whore with her own reality show on the Oxygen network, appeared on Fox News’ Red Eye and accused Sylvester Stallone of injecting her with steroids in her sleep. Stallone’s rep denied this and called Janice desperate and a habitual liar. For example, back when she was engaged to Sly Stallone, she even lied about her first born claiming Sly was the father. Turns out a DNA test proved producer Michael Birnbaum was the actual father. Janice told Greg Gutfeld of Red Eye,

“He juiced me,” Dickinson said. “I’d wake up and my arm was as big as Popeye – steroids, testosterone, all that stuff that people say [mimicking Stallone voice], ‘Hey, it’s not that good ’cause you get really big, you know what I mean?’ “

That sounds amazing. I didn’t know steroids were magical elixirs capable of taking effect in mere hours without needing to exercise. Janice must be incredibly retarded. Although, I have no doubt Sylvester Stallone takes human growth hormones after he was busted for it last year. Have you seen the trailer for Rambo? He looks like a tank at 50-years-old. The last 50-year-old I saw was complaining about their knee every time it was about to rain, not ripping the throats out of people in Burma.

A demo reel for Rambo IV titled John Rambo was released and it’s pretty insane. Sylvester Stallone doesn’t pussyfoot around like, ahem, Live Free or Die Hard (now rated PG-13 and which may no longer contain the catch phrase “Yippee ki yay motherfucker.”) In scenes shot dutifully for concerned parents, Rambo kills a guy twice, splatters a guy with his own gun, rips out someone’s throat with his bare hands and shoots an exploding arrow into another guy. Holy crap. What does the original badass Garfield have to say about this? Lasagna!

Sylvester Stallone has been charged with bringing 48 vials of the banned muscle building hormone Jintropin into Australia. Customs searched his bags and confiscated five boxes worth when he arrived at Sydney airport to promote Rocky. Three days later, his hotel was also searched and more items were confiscated. Jintropin is not approved by the US FDA.

The key ingredient in the drugs was somatropin, advertised on the Internet as enhancing sexual performance, reducing body fat, removing wrinkles, boosting muscle mass and for the “re-generation of major organs that shrink with age.”

Stallone insisted the drugs were not dangerous and was something he “has taken for years.” Human growth hormone is considered a performance enhancing drug in Australia and cannot be imported without a permit. Stallone faces an $86,000 fine, but since the case will be heard in local courts, it may be reduced to $22,000.

C’mon guys. Sly brought us Rocky, Rocky Balboa, Rambo, Assassins, Driven, Judge Dredd….Umm, I forgot. Was I supporting Sly or telling Australia that caning would be a good alternative?

Sylvester Stallone said he gave up sex to conserve his energy in order to shoot Rocky. Stallone says,

Giving up sex isn’t really that hard to do and it’s well known that it can improve your performance in sports — or on a movie.

Imagine having sex with Stallone. Now imagine having sex with a real live gargoyle. You had the same image in your head both times didn’t you? On a side note, I have it on good authority that Stallone was made in a lab. Once they birthed him, they stuck him in a chair Clockwork Orange style and showed him every cheesy movie ever made and gave him the idea for Rocky just to spite us. Sadly, they forgot all about his looks.

Man, I can’t believe this. I’ve been waiting so many years for the new Rocky Balboa trailer and it’s here. God almighty, it’s here. It’s just so great, I finally get to see this has-been actor try to reclaim his fame. Can my day not get any better? It can, it can. I’m going to go to the hospital right now and stick my hands in a bin full of used needles. Wish me luck.