TMZ caught up with a drunk and out of it Tara Reid… wait, that’s redundant. TMZ caught up with Tara Reid at LAX and asked her whether she and her husband could win the Newlywed Game.

Tara slurred they would lose because “we were never really married” and that it wasn’t legal. You mean those wedding photos she sold to Life & Style weren’t real? I thought I’d never see the day when a broke attention whore would lie like this. I don’t know what to believe in anymore!

The Hollywood Reporter released salaries of all the actors in the American Pie Reunion movie. They say the studio wanted to meet two requirements. Reunite the entire cast and not go over $55 million. Oh and see how little they could pay Tara Reid. Bwahaha.

Naturally, the two integral characters played by Jason Biggs and Seann William Scott, are getting the biggest piece of the… pie. Damnit, puns. The two also negotiated a small slice (arrrgh) of the first dollar gross. Alsyon Hannigan, who doesn’t really need this as she’s in her 7th season of How I Met Your Mother, is getting a nice chunk of change as well. Tara Reid on the other hand. Let’s just say she won’t have to scrounge for food in dumpsters for the rest of the year. No word on what the pie from the first movie is getting or if it’s even coming back.

According to sources, Universal is paying Jason Biggs and Seann William Scott a robust $5 million each, plus a small slice of first-dollar gross, to reprise their roles.

Alyson Hannigan, star of CBS’ How I Met Your Mother, is getting about $3 million. And veteran Eugene Levy, who starred in four profitable direct-to-DVD Pie films that helped make the property a billion-dollar franchise, is said to have received a payday also in the $3 million range.

The rest of the cast — which includes Chris Klein, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Natasha Lyonne, Jennifer Coolidge, Mena Suvari and Shannon Elizabeth — is being paid far less, say sources, most in the $500,000 to $750,000 range (though bonuses for some could kick in if the film is a hit, as expected).

Rounding out the list is Tara Reid, who is said to have joined Reunion for close to the $250,000 that Universal initially offered. A studio rep calls the figures “inaccurate” but declines further comment. The Hollywood Reporter

They’re right. That figure for Tara Reid sounds entirely inaccurate. I’m told the studio originally wanted to pay Tara $500,000 but being the master negotiator that she is, she got them down to $200, a cameo on Jersey Shore and three rounds of liposuction.

Here’s Tara Reid outside her London hotel looking disheveled and dressed in a pair of stained sweatpants. Never stop being my guiding light, Tara Reid.

Tara Reid got engaged and then married to Zack Kehayov all in the same day. Granted, no one actually knew who her husband was until she tweeted his name but now it looks like one publication was in on it because she sold her wedding photos to them.

Life & Style has the exclusive first photo from their wedding which was so spontaneous that they grabbed the first professional photographer they could find. So, behold. This is your Zack Kehayov.

Contrary to reports, Tara Reid did not have a shotgun wedding with Danish businessman Michael Lilleund. He vehemently denied this vicious rumor as most men would.

According to a tweet, Tara really married Zack Keyayov in Greece over the weekend.

Awww, isn’t that adorable? She thinks we care.

Tara Reid managed to trick someone into marrying her. Her rep confirmed to PEOPLE that Tara is now wed to Danish businessman Michael Lilleund who she met in Saint-Tropez last November. She’ll never have to stumble drunk into an empty home again!

Not wanting to make the same mistake she did with Internet entrepreneur Michael Axtmann who she was engaged to in 2010, she went from engagement to marriage in less than two hours.

At 8:58 a.m. on Saturday, Tara tweeted, “I just got engaged!”

At 10:23 a.m., she wrote, “Greece married!”

This begs the question, how much alcohol did she have to ply Lilleund with to make this happen? A lot or a truckload? Whichever it was, it was about time. She wasn’t getting any younger and her breasts definitely weren’t getting any more symmetrical.

Tara Reid is currently in Atlanta filming the new American Pie reunion movie and it’s easy to confuse her with a vagrant because she does stuff like wander around a Walgreens parking disheveled while pushing her dog in a shopping cart and stopping people to ask where the “nearest Mexican restaurant is.”

The disheveled-looking actress stopped two strangers in a Walgreens parking lot over the weekend, a source said, to ask where the “nearest Mexican restaurant was. She was wearing torn jeans and a pink hoodie, despite the 90-degree heat. She was pushing a shopping cart with her dog in it.” While Reid’s parking-lot pals gave her directions, a Walgreens manager emerged and ordered Reid to return her cart. “She whined, ‘I’m just borrowing it,’ ” our amused spy said. But Atlanta, it seems, isn’t Hollywood. “Ma’am, please, we don’t have that many,” said the clerk, whom Reid argued with before ditching the cart, grabbing the dog, and storming off. [Page Six]

That’s it. I tap out. There’s nothing more I can add to make this depressing story any more amusing. It even ends perfectly with the store manager begging her to give back one of the few shopping carts they had which she had no doubt painstakingly converted into a doggy stroller.

Tara Reid’s entire life is one big party interspersed with a couple months in rehab. In fact, Frankentits partied so hard one time that her front tooth fell out. That didn’t stop her though. She picked it up, glued it back and continued to party. From ITW via Celebitchy:

It seems nothing — and we mean nothing — can ruin a good time for party girl extraordinaire Tara Reid. According to an eyewitness at the Oasis Beach Club in India, Alkif., on April 14, Tara, 35, was having a ball when one of her front teeth popped out. Instead of calling it a night, “Tara got on her hands and knees and searched the floor,” says the witness, “and when she found it, she pulled out some glue, glued it back in and just continued partying!”

Should we applaud her for her commitment to fun or be disgusted? Maybe we can give her disgusted applause? And when she went to glue her tooth back in to the horror of the witness, did Tara proclaim, “Don’t worry. 5 second rule.” Because it’d be awesome if she did.

In an interview for Hollywood.tv during a charity event for child trafficking, Tara Reid was asked about what she was working on now to which she replied The Fields, The Irishman, American Pie 4 and The Big Lebowski 2.

Another Lebowski was big news to Joel and Ethan Coen who directed the original because it’s the first they heard about it. Austin360 caught up with the brothers and asked them whether a sequel was happening or if this was just another brain fart out of Tara’s farty brain.

Ethan responded with a chuckle, saying, “I’m glad she’s working on it.” When I asked if they actually had something in the works, Ethan said, “Well, we don’t but we’ll watch it when it comes out.” To which Joel quickly added, “Especially if Tara’s in it.”

Tara’s spokesperson told EW that she heard Jeff Bridges say in a random interview it’d be cool to get the original cast back for a Big Lebowski 2 and, like an optimistic two-year-old, Tara took that to mean it was happening.

The real story here is Tara Reid thinking she’d ever work with an actor like Jeff Bridges again. Oh, you sweet, misguided, wonky-boobed child.

Tara Reid and Michael Lillelund are consumed by passion, fueled by alcohol. Seriously though. These two look happy. And he doesn’t even care that her chest has a case of the lazy eye. That’s real love.

Tara Reid being in the VIP Room in St. Tropez and not suffering a nipple slip or putting phallic objects in her mouth would be like Demi Lovato passing up a line of pure white. It’s unheard of. The only thing missing from these photos is a guy blowing a whistle while pouring Tequila down her throat.

I particularly like Fame’s description of the pictures: “Usual train-wreck Tara Reid doesn’t disappoint as she and her nip slips attends the 1 year anniversary party for the VIP Room in St. Barths, France on November 9, 2010.” Tara keeps it classy.

If you haven’t guessed already from the Tara Reid hitting on Dennis Rodman and Tara Reid flashing her junk posts,In Touch Weekly confirms that Tara Reid fell off the wagon. Four months ago she was engaged to Michael Axtmann but the engagement got called off and a week or so ago Tara, who said she left her party girl days behind, flew to St. Tropez to get wasted and make-out with any guy that walked by.

No longer engaged, Tara, 34, seemed intent on living it up, and was spotted behaving like an out-of-control college student on July 28 and 29 at several different parties and clubs. “Tara has been out every night this past week,” St. Tropez resident Lucy Richards tells In Touch. “She’s been at Nikki Beach during the day, drinking rosé wine, and then she’s been out drinking champagne and vodka until 5 a.m. at clubs in the port.”

Richards says she saw Tara “dancing on tables” and getting very affectionate with her ex-fiancé Michael – and others: On July 28, “She kissed a girl behind the bar – and almost every man who walked past her.” The next night, local John Baptiste says Tara was “kissing Dennis Rodman in the VIP room of a club” and acting as if she was very drunk. “This is not a girl who has turned her life around at all,” he observes.

Great. Now a bunch of random men are walking around St. Tropez with some weird STD that can only be treated with copious amounts of alcohol and botched plastic surgery. The CDC should lock this chick in her own bubble like a hamster.

Along with partying with Dennis Rodman, Tara Reid was also on a yacht in St. Tropez with her ex Michael Axtmann where she flashed her bare vagina (NSFW) much to the dismay of everyone in the entire world. Look at Tara. What a woman. Drunk and underwear-less sitting on some guy’s lap with a cigarette in her hand. If Tara was any more proper, Ann Landers would put up a picture of her as an answer to the question, “How does one act ladylike?”