Steven Spielberg is directing an Abraham Lincoln biopic titled Lincoln starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Daniel Day-Lewis and Tommy Lee Jones. A seemingly solid film but that Abe Lincoln is boring as sh*t compared to Tim Burton’s. That’s because Tim Burton’s Abe Lincoln did something much more awesome. He hunted vampires. Topical!

IGN just released two posters for Burton’s Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter starring Benjamin Walker and Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Marry Todd Lincoln. Judging by the summary, this film will be historically accurate.

“Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter explores the secret life of our greatest President, and the untold story that shaped our nation. Visionary filmmakers Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov (director of Wanted) bring a fresh and visceral voice to the blood-thirsty lore of the vampire, imagining Lincoln as history’s greatest hunter of the undead.”

Of course. That’s why Abe always wore that top hat. It was to carry all his vampire hunting tools. It all makes sense now.

I wonder if Helena Bonham Carter dresses like this because she doesn’t pay attention to what event she’s going to. Like yesterday in Paris Tim Burton told her they were going to the Alice in Wonderland premiere but Helena shows up in this. Then Tim asks if this is what women wear to premieres and Helena says, “Premiere? I’m pretty sure you said funeral.” I don’t think Tim even bothers to tell her where they’re going anymore.

If you didn’t think Tim Burton’s re-imagining of the classic Alice in Wonderland would be filled with haunting imagery, surreal landscapes and much creepier, lecherous versions of characters from the story, then you must not know Tim Burton very well. Are you sure we’re thinking of the same guy?

Helena Bonham Carter gave birth late Sunday to a baby girl. This is the second child for the couple who also have a 4-year-old son, Billy. In addition to this little miracle, Tim Burton and Helena found out they were nominated for Golden Globes during the birth.

“We were talking about inducing, and Tim got a call from his assistant,” Bonham Carter told PEOPLE before the birth. “I do look like a globe, so it’s kind of funny. I am very round.”

She also joked that it was probably hard on the baby while in utero to listen to Mom learning how to sing for her role in the musical. “Maybe the baby’s going to come out with his hands on his ears. ‘Shut up!’ ” she laughed.

I’m sure Helena singing about a murderous barber wasn’t all that bad. Imagine if you were in Paris Hilton’s womb. That would majorly suck. Paris’ first ultrasound would show the baby covering its ears with its newly developed hands. The next one would show the baby seemingly crying. The last one would show it trying to wrap the umbilical cord around its neck in a valiant effort to end a life of cleaning up mommy’s boyfriend’s used prophylactics before it even started.