Tito Ortiz hit up his Miami hotel pool with his wife Jenna Jameson for some much needed r&r after being kneed into oblivion by Rashad Evans during his fight almost two weeks ago.

There’s nothing more satisfying after losing a fight than body slamming your girlfriend into the pool.

Just a few hours ago, a nude photo of UFC fighter Tito Ortiz showed up on Twitter. The tweet showed Tito, naked from the waist down, taking a self-portrait of himself in front of a mirror with his cellphone.

The photo was taken down moments later and was accompanied by an update which read, “Someone hack my f**king phone.” Translation: Dur, dur. How do computer work?

At least he didn’t pull a Blake Lively and claim it was “100% fake” or blame it on his cracked skull. This actually sounds plausible despite coming from Tito Ortiz.

NSFW image here.

Two weeks ago, Jenna Jameson accused Tito Ortiz of pushing her into a bathtub which left her with torn ligaments in her arm. Tito Ortiz then called a press conference to accuse Jenna of being a drug addict who’s been using Oxycontin.

A week later they said it was a big misunderstanding.

Today, they’re posing for the paparazzi as if nothing happened. Jenna’s arm isn’t even in a sling anymore. She must be Wolverine because I’ve never seen two torn ligaments heal that fast.

That or Jenna must have learned how to properly fake an injury from one of the best. By the way, has Tito healed from that “cracked skull” yet?

Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson have taken back their allegations that led to Tito being arrested for domestic violence. They say it’s “a big misunderstanding.”

Jenna, who accused Tito of injuring her during an argument, now tells TMZ, “What actually happened has now been dramatically distorted and misinterpreted and remarks that both Tito and I made after the police arrived reflect the state of shock that we were both in.” Translation — he didn’t hurt me.

As for Tito, we’re told he’s now backing off what he strongly insinuated … that Jenna is an OxyContin addict. We’re told Tito’s position now is that he found two OxyContin pills in a pair of her pants pocket and may have jumped to conclusions. Jenna says the pills were very old. And, as we first reported, Jenna tested negative for drugs this week.

Whew. I’m glad this harrowing tale of he said, she said has been put to rest. I didn’t know if my heart could take the big reveal of who the bigger liar was.

Drug tests for Jenna Jameson have come back clean disproving Tito Ortiz’s claim that Jenna is on OxyContin. Jenna tested negative for the ten major drugs they were screening for which included cocaine, weed, meth and oxycodone, the main ingredient in OxyContin. After the test, Jenna wiped the sweat from her brow and reiterated, “I am definitely not addicted to OxyContin or any drug.”

Jenna’s attorney said, “The lab tests clearly exonerate Jenna Jameson of any hint, iota, or suggestion that she ingested or was under the influence of any opiates or controlled substances. Statements made by anyone to the contrary are completely impeached by the results from this prestigious testing facility.”

Meanwhile, Tito and his attorney are sticking to his claim that she’s addicted to OxyContin claiming they have evidence and witnesses and that she made up the abuse to cover up her addiction. And if you don’t believe Tito, he’ll break your god damn face.

Jenna Jameson showed up yesterday with her arm in a brace from when Tito Ortiz allegedly threw her to the ground. Jenna called the cops and had Ortiz locked up. However, Ortiz made the $50,000 bail and was out in a few hours. You’d think Jenna, a victim of domestic violence from a damn UFC fighter, wouldn’t want the guy who abused her to return home so soon or ever for that matter. Well, you’d be wrong. She actually wants Tito back or at least that’s what it sounds like. According to Radar,

It’s not known where Tito will spend the night, because Jenna said “I’m in love with Tito, I hope he comes home soon, but he can’t.”

Oh, but wait. Here comes the surprise twist. Tito Ortiz and his attorney claim Jenna is addicted to OxyContin which is what led to the “incident”. In a news conference moments ago, Tito’s attorney claimed Jenna has had an addiction to the drug for over a year and that Tito and family were hiding it from everyone.

Chip Matthews, the attorney, said “Tito never touched Jenna” and that Jenna had relapsed. When Tito confronted her about it, Jenna was high and lost her balance. Matthews says Jenna’s addiction has led to multiple suicide calls to 911.

Meanwhile, Jenna was packing up to leave for Vegas with two friends during the news conference. When asked, she said Tito was “trying to save his career”. Jenna’s dad is currently taking care of the kids.

Jenna claims that during an argument Monday morning she, “said something very hurtful to his ego.” She alleges that Tito then grabbed her and, “threw me into the bathtub and tore two ligaments in my shoulder.”

Tito’s attorney Chip Matthews strongly denies that, saying … “He did not put his hands on her, he did not hit her, he did not do anything to her.”

Matthews claims Tito found pills in Jenna’s pants pocket — and that when Tito confronted her she had an “emotional meltdown.”

Jenna says Tito’s addiction allegation is, “completely false” and “the last nail in the coffin” for their relationship.

That part doesn’t jibe with what Jenna said earlier about wanting him back, but I guess that was before Tito called Jenna a drug addicted liar during a news conference.

There’s a statistic somewhere that said pornstars are very likely to turn to drugs. Probably to deal with the fact that they’re being holed out by guys on video 24/7. Maybe I was thinking about this? Anyway, it’s very likely that Jenna is on drugs and just made up the whole domestic abuse things to hide that fact. Then again, Tito has been accused of this before. Who knows who’s telling the truth. Maybe they’re both lying whores.

[Splash News]

TMZ caught up with Jenna Jameson after police arrested Tito Ortiz, who can currently be seen coaching opposite Chuck Liddell on the new season of The Ultimate Fighter, for domestic violence. She assures everyone that she’s okay, but will be pressing charges. A photo posted on TMZ showed Jenna leaving a CVS wearing an arm brace.

Speaking with UFC president Dana White, Tito Ortiz could be cut from the organization if the charges stick. White said, “We’re gonna be fair, but we could cut him. Other than going on a killing spree, being accused of domestic violence is the worst thing you can have going for you.”

Maybe Tito has a good excuse. Maybe he was joking around with Jenna and asked if she wanted a Hertz Donut and she said, “okay”, and then he punched her really hard in the arm and chortled, “hurts! don’t it?” but because Jenna is 80 pounds of skin and bones, she flew across the room and almost broke her arm.

Tito Ortiz hasn’t won a fight since 2006 where he took out Ken Shamrock with ease, but his luck may have changed because he might have emerged victorious after punching his wife Jenna Jameson.

Early this morning, Ortiz was arrested at his home for domestic violence and taken to Huntington Beach jail in the OC. TMZ says Jenna had “visible injuries.”

As Horatio Caine would say, “This is one blow… [puts on sunglasses]… that didn’t end with a job.” Yeeeeeeeah!

There are three things you should note about these photos of Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz. 1) Tito still looks like an ape. He even tries to mount Jenna like one. 2) Semen isn’t as age-defying a lotion as some people are led believe, but your girlfriend doesn’t have to know. 3) Years of abuse have not caused Jenna Jameson’s uterus to fall out and that’s really impressive.

Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz have named their newborn twins Jesse and Journey Jett. You may be wondering why Jesse is oddly normal, yet Journey is a ridiculous ode to some 70′s band. Just be glad she didn’t choose their names from one of the various titles she’s done. Come guzzler and Seymour Butts anyone?

Jenna Jameson tells Us Magazine that “Yes, I can confirm I’m pregnant. It’s still early, so I’m being cautious. I’m resting as much as possible,” confirming an earlier rumor by the New York Post. Jenna says she and Tito are still in shock. Shock that her womb can still cultivate life after having been eviscerated by multiple penii (penises?) throughout her career.

Jenna goes on to compare herself to Angelina Jolie — bwahhahahaha — saying she’s going to stay unmarried and just have babies. Look, the only way Jenna is like Angelina is if Angelina filmed herself banging a lot of dudes and my friend walked in on me jacking off to it. While that would be cool, I lost all hope of that ever happening three years ago.

Ms. Famous Adult Film Star also says she’s moving down to the beach with Tito. Good idea. That way the baby can more easily drown themselves after they realize who their parents are.

The NY Post today congratulates Jenna Jameson on her pregnancy with ex-UFC, now Affliction, fighter, Tito Ortiz.

“She had a bunch of meetings and things planned for Fashion Week, including meetings for her own line, but she’s postponed everything,” said our source. “She’s completely thrilled, this is something she’s wanted for a very long time.”

If Jenna doesn’t have a c-section, then expect the baby to get stuck between the layers of dried semen caked to the walls of her vagina. It’ll be the first time the Jaws of Life are ever used during a birth.

Jenna Jameson told UsMagazine that, after two failed marriages to a porn star and porn studio owner, she has no desire to marry, but is keen on having children. Jenna is currently dating UFC fighter Tito Ortiz who’s last match is this Saturday. One in which he will most likely lose unless he pulls something out of his ass. Tito will either be moving to pro-wrestling, EliteXC or continue trying to impregnate Jenna.

“I think I’m gonna stay unmarried, and just go for the babies!” Jameson, 34, told Usmagazine.com at Maxim’s Hot 100 bash in L.A. Wednesday. “I’m following in Angelina’s footsteps! “We’re trying for a baby, so hopefully in the next couple of months!” she added.

This news brings about many pressing questions. A few of which are as follows: Is it possible for Tito’s sperm to make it past the millions of other hopefuls which cake Jenna’s vagina like a chamber of death? Has Jenna’s womb survived being repeatedly poked for the past decade? Can her waifish body even provide nourishment for a parasitic entity? It’s times like these I turn to Bill Nye the science guy for answers. Where are you Bill Nye?