The Patriots lost to the Giants again last night but would have had a much better chance at victory if it wasn’t for three dropped passes during their final drive. Not to worry though, his supermodel wife rushed to his side to comfort him.

“I think it was just the missed opportunities,” Brady said.

Soon he was ushered into a hallway, off to where the podium waited. He went through a side exit, not the main one where his wife, Gisele Bundchen, the Brazilian supermodel, had been waiting.

She heard he’d gotten past her and began sprinting – in black boots with three-inch heels – after him. He was 30 yards ahead of her.

“Tommy,” she shouted. “Tommy! Tommy!”

He didn’t hear her. She finally plowed through the crowd, the lingerie model throwing elbows until she stopped him in mid-stride and offered a big hug, a kiss and a look into Brady’s still-red eyes. Cameras flashed all around them. Yahoo

But not before being heckled by Giants fans who shouted witticisms such as “Eli rules” and “Eli owns your husband” while she was waiting for the elevator. This seemed to have gotten to the Brazilian because said to the people around her.

“My husband can not f****ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times.” The Insider (video)

Aw, poor handsome three-time Super Bowl champion/millionaire Mr. Bundchen. You really feel for this guy. What a poor bastard.

When Tom Brady punted the ball against the Broncos during the playoffs, he absorbed all of Tim Tebow’s god power and now Gisele Bundchen is using it to bring the Patriots to victory. In a private email sent only to close friends and family that Page Six somehow got, she wrote:

“My sweet friends and family,” the e-mail began. “This sunday will be a really important day in my husband’s life. He and his team worked so hard to get to this point and now they need us more than ever to send them positive energy so they can fulfill their dream of winning this super bowl . . .

“So I kindly ask all of you to join me on this positive chain and pray for him, so he can feel confident, healthy and strong. Envision him happy and fulfilled experiencing with his team a victory this sunday.

“Thank you for your love and support. Love, G :)” Page Six

Tom Brady gets paid millions, is handsome and has a supermodel wife so let’s all pray Tom gets his fourth Super Bowl ring because his life isn’t fantastic enough.

Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen were in Mexico over the weekend hiding out from the rapture and… you know what? I’m just going to leave this here.

Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen were at Carnival in Rio de Janeiro over the weekend where Gisele rode on one of the floats. That wasn’t the big news though. The big news was Tom showed off his fancy dance moves during the ceremony. Dancing With the Stars here we come.

Look at him bouncing around and half-confidently raising his hands only to pull them down when embarrassment sets in. Tom calls this move he invented: “guy in the corner at a club.” He’s a natural.

I’m just waiting for the day Tom Brady gets tired of being made fun of by a 16-year-old lesbian, shaves his head and kicks Justin Bieber’s ass. That day should be inching closer if Justin keeps this up.

Most recently, Justin debuted his alter ego, Shawty Mane, and made a rap video. He sings, “Hello Mr. Brady, tell him leave his hair to the guy who sings ‘Baby’.” Granted, it’s only one line but that’s the only line that made any sense and I think that’s reason enough to get Brady’s entire team to beat him with bars of soap.

Near the end of the video, Justin says he did this to prove he can rap too. Success! If by success you mean string a bunch of words together that rhyme but make no sense in context.

Note: I will never get tired of that picture of Tom Brady

Tom Brady and Randy Moss got into a fight over Tom’s Bieber haircut that Gisele Bundchen forces him to keep *whip crack*. Moss said it looked gay and Tom ran away crying like a girl. No, actually.

According to Casserly’s account, the men verbally tussled (or should we say tousled?) in the Pats locker room after Brady chided Moss for his recent lackluster play and told him to lose his facial hair.

Moss allegedly responded that Brady needed to cut his long hair because he looks “like a girl.”

Randy, words can hurt too. *Sniffle* Even Justin Bieber mocked Tom Brady’s hair.

Bieber told the Boston Herald, “Nice hair, Brady. Dude’s got some golden locks. Ha ha!” in response to questions about the quarterback’s mop top.

Oh, snap. You know things have gotten bad when a 16-year-old lesbian isn’t afraid of getting his ass kicked and starts making fun of you.

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was in a car accident near his home in Boston Thursday morning at 6:30 AM. Tom’s Audi collided with a red Ford Aerostar three blocks from his house. The accident knocked over a light pole.

A witness described, “The red car went up in the air, sideways. … The tire was half off.” The driver of the Ford was fine but the passenger had to be freed with the Jaws of Life and was taken to the hospital with serious injuries. Brady was uninjured and went to practice later in the day.

According to a law enforcement source, based on the preliminary investigation, Brady was not at fault as he had the green light.

Another guy said he thought Tom was some kid who crashed his dad’s nice car. And another guy shouted from his window, “Cut your hair you damn hippie!”

That or he’s turning into a lesbian.

[Splash]

The golden boy has arrived. Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady welcomed a baby boy. No other details are known at this time like what the baby’s name is, how many yards he can already throw or if God punched an angel in its face because he was so beautiful. This is Tom’s second child. His first is a 2-year-old son with Bridget Moynahan who he left for Gisele while she was pregnant. He and Gisele call that kid “he who shall not be named”.

Tom Brady yesterday shot down reports that he and Gisele Bundchen are expecting. Brady said, “One is enough. I have dogs and that’s all I need.”

Brady has the right idea. I’ll never understand why people impregnate their supermodel girlfriends right after they marry. You’d think they’d not want them to get fat for almost a year and squeeze out a little demon that makes said supermodel too tired for sex. It’s like winning the lottery and putting all that money into a CD. Normal people don’t do that. They blow it on hookers and risky investments.

Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen were recently married in two separate ceremonies. One in Santa Monica and another in Costa Rica. Now Radar claims that Gisele has already told close friends that she’s been knocked up. This will make it Tom’s second child with a supermodel. The first one being with Bridget Moynahan.

Oh, sure Tom. Rub it in all our faces. Not only are you a quarterback for the Pats and get to bang super rich models all day, but now we find out you’re insanely virile. Whatever dude. Fuck you and your fabulous life.

Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady held their second wedding in Costa Rica this weekend when two photographers tried to snap pictures of the ceremony from a neighbor’s house 300 feet away. Since Gisele had an exclusive deal with a Brazilian magazine, friends weren’t too thrilled. Brady’s bodyguards called the photogs over to the house where Tom’s buddies verbally bashed the two paps. They managed to flee in their SUV but not before one of Brady’s men pulled a gun and shot at them as they drove away. The bullet shattered their back window, the bullet barely missing both their heads.

Brady and Gisele were married in Los Angeles County in February, and were renewing their vows on Saturday. Just as the photographers started snapping, the couple’s bodyguards spotted them and chased them, according to Aviles.

The pair ran back to Cortez’s Suzuki SUV, parked about 500 feet away in dense brush.

They split up as they ran away, and by the time Aviles said he reached the SUV, his colleague was already there speaking to a Brady bodyguard.

Aviles quoted the guard as saying, “Tom Brady just wants to talk to you. It’s OK, nothing’s going to happen.

But when the photographers accepted the guard’s invitation back to Gisele’s house, they were swarmed by three members of the wedding party and five hired goons dressed all in black.

The New England Patriot quarterback’s best man berated the photographers and wanted to provoke a brawl, the lensmen said.

“Take a picture of me now, you f- – -er! F- – - you,” Brady’s righthand man, whose name was not immediately known, screamed, according to Aviles.

“He was very angry. It looked like he wanted to attack us,” Aviles said. The photographers lied their way out of the tight spot — saying they hadn’t taken a single frame.

Wedding photographs are serious business. Imagine what would happen if paps tried to snap pictures of a Tom Brady / Gisele Bundchen baby if they had an exclusive deal. Bodyguards would probably rape their entire family and execute them at gunpoint.

[NYP, Image via Gawker]

Gisele Bundchen has already stolen Tom Brady from Bridget Moynahan who he dumped after getting pregnant. Now, Gisele, having never even met Bridget, will be stealing her baby, Jack, as well. In a recent interview with Vanity Fair, Gisele says:

“I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that, but to me it’s not like because somebody else delivered him, that’s not my child. I feel it is, 100 percent,” Gisele says. “I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that’s important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine. I already feel like he’s my son, from the first day.”

This would sort of be like invading a country then salting their fields and raping their women. The only thing left for Gisele to take from Bridget at this point is her dignity and, rest assured, she’s whittling away at that as we speak. By this time next week, Bridget will just be an empty husk of a person cradling a dirty pile of underwear she’s crafted to resemble her baby.