Sorry for the low quality, but you’ll have to make due. Tricia Helfer and Grace Park are in Maxim and I admit that they’re pretty hot even though I could break them with my bare hands. I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty strong.

I also like the fact that the Maxim’s caption is “Set Phasers to Sexy” and nerds won’t let that slide noting on the site: “Um…phasers? There are no “phasers” in BSG. Poor terminology is ruining my enjoyment of this deliciousness.” By the time they finished typing that, I’d already have pushed them into a puddle and stolen their girlfriend.

Even though FHM used these photos of Tricia Helfer for their May UK edition, it’s worth another look because they’re finally in better resolution. This set will be perfect for those lonely nights when you’re alone wishing Tricia Helfer was your girlfriend and that she speak to you exclusively in German. Finally, a picture to go with the fantasy.

Tricia Helfer also showed up at Spike TV’s Scream Awards over the weekend. As a polite gesture, she wore an ill-fitting dress which would ride down every 5 minutes exposing some areola. I applaud you for your commitment to excellence, girl I know nothing about. Your loyalty to my penis shall be greatly rewarded.

• Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild says Paris was the best blow job he’d ever had. Blatant liar. [IDLYITW]
• Stills from Sienna Miller’s sex scene. Trust me, there’s video floating around somewhere. [Celebrity Smack]
• There might be a Departed sequel, possibly prequel. [Celebitchy]
• Farce of the Penguins. I can’t believe this is a real movie. [Pajiba]
• Kevin Bacon opens up six degrees of charity. [CityRag]
• Katie is very grateful. [Glitterati]
• Michael Jackson’s kids revealed. [Evil Beet]
• Tricia Helfer PG-13 Playboy. [Bastardly]
• Gwen Stefani used to be fat? [Popsugar]