When you’re a big shot celebrity, normal rules don’t apply to you anymore. Hence, why Usher parked in a handicap spot in a crowded parking lot in a shopping center in Atlanta last week near the Little 5 Points Halloween Parade.

Well, one woman took exception to this. Usher was sitting in the driver’s seat with the windows down chilling out in the blue zone when a woman came up, shook a beer can and sprayed him with it. Usher grabbed a water bottle and splashed her back. She then started kicking his driver’s side door until he came out and confronted her.

We’re told the woman demanded the singer move his car — but Usher refused and she went ballistic … screaming, flailing her arms, and grabbing Usher’s hoodie.

At one point, she screams, “You don’t belong here!”

Sources say the woman’s husband eventually dragged her away from the scene — and Usher drove away not long after. TMZ

It takes a unique individual to rise up and fight for the rights of those who can’t. That individual today was this woman, a self-appointed parking police, fighting for the parking spaces of the disabled. Of course, her heroics were tarnished by undertones of racism. I mean, Usher doesn’t belong there? Look at that picture of him leaning against the palm tree looking so cool. He belongs everywhere!

Usher has been dating 43-year-old Grace Miguel, a Def Jam exec who’s also his co-manager and stylist, since his split with Tameka Foster. The relationship has been going so well that he’s already whipped and letting Miguel call the shots. She’s telling him to replace all his stylists, choreographers and tour managers with her own people. Usher did a similar thing when he was with Tameka when he fired his mother as his manager after the two butted heads.

Usher’s longtime agent, Mark Cheatham of CAA, is the first victim of his much older girlfriend. Usher, 32, started his career with Cheatham and introduced him to teen sensation Justin Bieber, whom he currently represents.

Cheatham was tight-lipped when we contacted him. “I don’t know anything about it. I’ve been with Usher for a long time,” he told us. “I’ve been on great terms with Usher. Talk to my publicist.”

A CAA publicist never got back to us, but Usher is no longer listed on their client list.

A source close to Cheatham tells us, “Mark is really upset. He’s been with him from the beginning. He thinks Usher will come back, He’s just waiting.”

Mark sounds like a battered housewife. Get over it, man. Usher isn’t coming back unless he breaks up with Grace. Which is about two years from now after he marries her and finds out she’s insane.

There’s a stolen Usher sex tape being shopped around which will probably end up being released by Vivid once they iron out the contract with Usher and Tameka Foster. That is if Tameka ever agrees to it since she didn’t know she was being filmed in the first place. Tameka’s attorney told Radar, “Ms. Raymond has not seen the alleged video and had no knowledge that such a video existed. She is certainly unhappy about it. There is no further comment at this time.”

That’s pretty sneaky of Usher. When I film myself having sex with girls to prove to everybody this actually happened, they know they’re being filmed because of the cameras set up in a 360 around the bed. I want to be the Matrix of sex tapes. I’m very ambitious.

Before Usher and his ex-wife Tameka Foster split, they made a sex tape. As is normally the case, it’s now being shopped around to various outlets. One of which being TMZ who was shown a short preview video and given two photos. TMZ just says, “the people in the video are both givers.” That would be way more awesome if they meant Tameka wore a strap-on but I think this just means oral.

Sources claim this may have been among the things stolen from Usher’s car in December 2009 along with $1,000,000 in jewelery and electronics and two laptops. IN HIS CAR. That’s not suspicious at all.

In a statement released to TheYBF, Tameka says, “Yes, I have had sex with my [ex] husband. Multiple times. Would I sanction a sextape being out? Absolutely not. I am a mother and entrepreneur. Sex tapes or pornography would not be my lane. I have no desire to be seen in that way.”

Tameka added, “Why? How much do you think I can get for it? A lot?,” and then she wiped the drool from her mouth.

CNN reports that Usher was booed off stage during a rescheduled concert at the O2 Arena in Berlin. On Wednesday, Usher had to cancel his scheduled performance at the last minute due to illness. He promised on Twitter that he’d give them “the show that you all properly deserve.”

Turns out he was still sick because he lip-sycned his first two songs and failed to seduce everyone with his dancing. Fans near the stage began to complain and people started to boo. Per CNN, “In response, he reportedly lowered his head and stood silently on the stage for about four minutes before leaving altogether. The stage lights came on and fans were told the star was too sick to continue the show.” What the fans failed to see was the single tear rolling down his cheek.

A statement issued by his rep claims Usher is “suffering from upper respiratory illness which is currently preventing him from performing a proper show. After consultation with doctors, he has been advised to reschedule the upcoming dates in order to get the rest he needs to ensure a complete recovery.”

Usher put out his own statement saying “I deeply regret having to reschedule the shows. I am truly sorry for any inconvenience I have caused my fans. My fans are the best in the world and I am looking forward to getting better so that I can give them the show they deserve.”

Between choked sobs, Usher continued, “You guys are so mean! I’m taking my ball and going home.”

This video is pretty much all the proof I need to show that Usher ripped off “OMG” from Homer Simpson’s jingle at the beginning of the Dude, Where’s My Ranch episode. [Via Buzzfeed]

At a concert in New York City, Usher brought a female fan on stage at his concert in Madison Square Garden to serenade her Monday night. While singing ‘Trading Places’, Usher sat her on a couch while he caressed her.

She got a little excited and tried to move her leg to get closer to Usher but ended up kicking him in the nose with her stiletto boot. No damage was done and the fan even massaged Usher’s face.

This story had so much potential but it became a real letdown. I was expecting the girl to tell him to bite the curb. Turns out reality was a lot more disappointing. That’s why I live in fantasy with dragons, unicorns, mermaids and the distinct absence of crying into my pillow every night.

According to the Digital Death campaign, all celebrities taking part in it would go on hiatus from Twitter until $1 million was donated to the Keep a Child Alive foundation. Only $299,200 has been raised so far.

Proving that the campaign is utterly pointless, Usher, who’s one of the participating celebrities, let out four tweets over the weekend digitally resurrecting himself.

Twit fam, I’m whack for being late, I need your help. Twit,Happy Birthday Rico Love!!! He is the man that wrote you “There goes my baby”
5 Dec

@Sheamooreonair…Lol…your funny. I’m listenin’ to you. I would’ve picked you…I didn’t hear you.
10 hours ago

Atl….I love ya’ll. The show was crazy…shout to Chris, Miguel and Trey. We shut it down!!! URIV
10 hours ago

Shout to the lil homie Prince JB in London!!….I hope your keeping em warm out there….see ya soon! URIV
9 hours ago

Way to go. The campaign started December 1. It’s only been five days. Five days! Not even a week. Usher has about as much self-control as Lindsay Lohan does with a baggie of coke.

After Usher saw photos of Chris Brown riding jet skis without a care in the world, he said he was “a little disappointed” and Chris should “have a little remorse, man.” In a statement released Tuesday he says he takes it back.

“The comments made during a recent recording session amongst friends were taken out of context and blown out of proportion. I apologize on behalf of myself and my friends if anyone was offended. The intentions were not to pass judgment and we meant no harm. I respect and wish the best for all parties involved.”

In Usher’s defense, people who are sorry don’t usually party at mansions and ride around on jet skis three weeks after they turn their girlfriend’s face into a Picasso. A better statement would be to cut the brakes on Chris Brown’s car.

New details have emerged regarding Tameka Foster’s “serious” medical emergency. G1 unearthed specifics despite Usher’s people calling for “total privacy” from the hospital. Reports say Foster was being anesthetized for liposuction when she went into cardiac and respiratory arrest. Doctors had to put her into an induced coma for 24 hours to stabilize her.

Usher canceled his Grammy appearance to fly to Brazil and brought along a neurosurgeon from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center who has been put in charge of Foster’s treatment.

There’s no reason given why she went to Brazil to get lipo when she could have had the same procedure done in America. Most of the time you go to Brazil to do things they won’t let you do here. Things like black market kidney transplants and living near high schools.

Report: Usher’s Wife Had Coma Induced After Lipo Mishap [E!]

Tameka Foster, Usher’s wife, is in stable condition following complications suffered during “routine surgery” in Brazil. Usher canceled his pre-Grammy performance to fly to Tameka’s bedside. The “routine surgery” was some type of plastic surgery (cough*vaginalreconstruction*cough).

Note that this wasn’t done in the US. This was done in Brazil. A place where the rules are a little less strict. You could ask them to sew you a three-headed hell hound if you wanted. An operation the holier than thou doctors in America call unethical. Obviously they don’t realize how awesome and menacing a three-headed Rottweiler could be. I was going to name it “Frickin’ Sweet.” I had the dog tag printed and everything.

Rumors have spread that Usher is eager to sell pictures of his newborn son, Usher Raymond V, to the highest bidder. Not true, he tells Page Six.

“In no way would I ever pimp out my child for money.” “I am livid that people talk about my child,” Usher told us. In fact, he has posed – for free – with his son for an “incredible” Father’s Day cover for Essence magazine.

“What makes you a man more than being a father to your child? I recognize I gave anonymity away when I became an artist, but to have people try to paint a horrible picture of what’s so beautiful – it’s obvious someone is trying to stop something so beautiful.”

Whatever. Usher is crazy. If I had a baby, I’d give it a dumb name like Noid (after the Domino’s Pizza mascot). Then I’d put an eye patch over one of their eyes and shop pictures of them around to tabloids for millions claiming this to be a real cyclops. I’ll tell them that even though this baby is pretty much useless to society and logically, should be thrown into a bottomless pit, I still love them anyway. People will eat it up. In two weeks after I deposit all my checks into an offshore bank account, I’ll drop the baby off at my neighbor’s door and move to the Bahamas. Oh and I’ll probably take the eye patch with me because that shit cost $1.50 at Wal-Mart.

Usher abruptly canceled his wedding to Tameka Foster on Saturday. No real reason was given. Some speculate there were too many hurdles like family matters and the event itself while others say Usher changed his mind. In a statement released on Saturday,

“It was announced today that the wedding ceremony for Usher Raymond IV and Tameka Foster was canceled. No additional information will be given regarding the circumstances of the cancellation, but we hope the privacy of this matter will be respected.”

This could have something to do with the report the Enquirer had about Tameka’s “criminal” past. Maybe Usher realized marrying a woman 9 years his elder was gonna be pretty damn boring. In about 10 years, she won’t even want to have sex anymore. She’ll just sit in a rocking chair and complain about needing more absorbent diapers.