Last Friday, acclaimed director Uwe Boll held a free screening of his new movie Postal at Pier A Park. 200 people attended the screening and 150 eventually walked out before it ended. The remaining 50 were immobilized by either disgust or a profound sadness upon realizing they wasted 100 minutes of a perfectly good Friday night to be thrown into an abyss of retardation. Not even Mat Levy aka Cheezy from I Love New York enjoyed it and that’s saying a lot. That dude would enjoy watching a monkey flinging poo which, coincidentally, is how Uwe Boll makes his movies.

The last straw for Levy was a scene in which two terrorists hijack a plane in a 9/11-style attack, but then decide to abandon the suicide mission and fly to the Bahamas instead – only to wind up crashing into a building after the passengers storm the cockpit.

Mayor David Roberts, citing the same scene, refused to attend Friday night’s premiere.

“I did not like Uwe Boll’s perception of 9/11,” Levy said.

“It’s too soon to mock a plane going into the World Trade Center. Do you not think there are families out there that had their loved ones killed on 9/11? It really upsets me that he couldn’t care less.”

Uwe Boll said this is what he was aiming for as Postal is meant to be thought provoking. Ooooh, I get it now.

Boll told NJ.com’s Hoboken Now blog that he knows the movie will provoke people – that’s the point.

“We don’t spare any group. We don’t want to hurt anybody but we want to break the rules,” he said.

“We want to make people think: What is a taboo? We want to make people start thinking about their own boundaries and rules.”

“Being politically correct, let’s say, the big studios are kind of overdoing it,” he said. “I feel it is time now to make a really wild movie, something over the top.”

For Uwe’s next movie, I have a fantastic idea for him and it’s able to completed in three easy steps. Step 1: Find the best camera he can afford and then buy the next expensive one after that. Step 2: Go to Sports Chalet or Sports Authority, buy an aluminum bat. Step 3: Smash camera into little pieces. Step 4 (optional, but highly encouraged): Die.

Note that according to IMDB, Postal also has a 130 minute director’s cut. May God have mercy on us all.

Video may be NSFW. Wired ran an unflattering review of Uwe Boll’s newest entry into IMDB’s bottom 100, aka Postal (based off the video game of the same name), without realizing they would have to suffer the wrath of Uwe. Shortly after posting, the writer, Chris, received this e-mail (along with others) from Uwe,

chris
your review shows me only that you dont understand anything about movies and that you are a untalented wanna bee filmmaker with no balls and no understanding what POSTAL is. you dont see courage because you are nothing. and no go to your mum and fuck her …because she cooks for you now since 30 years ..so she deserves it.
people like you are the reason that independent movies have no chance anymore.
uwe boll
PS: POSTAL is R RATED . The MPAA understood the satire — you not — you dumb fuck

Last time, Uwe Boll sought revenge on his critics by challenging them to a boxing match, but hand-picked his opponents to make sure they had no prior boxing experience. He’s a puss. This is the same guy who directed BloodRayne, Alone in the Dark and House of the Dead. I think he himself set independent movies back 10 years. And if there’s anything you can learn from Uwe Boll, it would be how to make shitty movies and be a little bitch about critics calling them shitty movies.

A while back, Uwe Boll, director of Bloodrayne and other shitastic movies, challenged his critics to a boxing match. 15 applied and more than 4 accepted the challenge. Jeff from Aint It Cool actually got in the ring, but ended up whining.

“Then he started beating the crap out of my head,” he said. “I think he’s a jerk. This might be PR but I don’t want to keep getting punched in the head.”

I’m not sure what part of “boxing” confused him. Maybe he thought they were gonna play patty cake. The rest of the fighters fought until they were knocked out including Richard Kyanka of Something Awful. Uwe Boll trains in boxing and used these guys as a moving target. Sadly, I’d still rather watch a bowel movement than any of his movies.

The new trailer for Uwe Boll’s movie, In The Name Of The King, is just so very shitty. I am in awe that Uwe is still making movies. He is at the top of the list of hacks in Hollywood, yet almost all of his movies have gotten decent pushes from the studio. This trailer looks like he stayed in for a weekend watching Lord Of The Rings and Gladiator over and over again with a few Kung Fu movies sprinkled in to break the monotony.

This guy must have the worlds largest supply of coke or weed because IMDB lists two more movies coming from him in 2007 and one in 2008. Did any of the actors read the script or all they all slipping down to the c-list.

Look at Ray Liotta, he looks so god damn sad to be in this movie.