That is if you believe Vanessa Paradis. Recent reports claimed Johnny Depp and Vanessa were splitting. Now Vanessa is flat out denying the rumors.

Making the publicity rounds for her new movie, Café de Flore, Paradis offered a clear statement to French television program Grand Journal on the subject after giving a vague response to the U.K.’s Daily Mail.

“Yes it’s false! Of course it’s false!” the 39-year-old singer-actress said when pressed about reports she had split with Depp, 48. E! Online

Depp has yet to confirm or deny any rumors and why should he. It makes having sex with other women much harder. Right now he can just say, “You hear those rumors of me and Vanessa splitting?,” and leave it at that.

PEOPLE’s title “Johnny Depp & Vanessa Paradis Living ‘Sad’ Separate Lives” sounds like the death knell for Johnny and Vanessa’s relationship. They haven’t been seen on the red carpet together for over a year and sources say they don’t even live together. Some in their circle say after 14 years, they’ve already split. “It’s so sad,” says an insider.

Usually PEOPLE has a good track record with rumors because they’re always kissing celebrity ass. Not like me. Whenever I ask for comment, the person on the other line goes “ksscchhh… breaking up… kscchhhh… can’t hear you.” At first, I thought it was just bad reception, but after the sixth time, I’m starting to wonder.

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis’ relationship is getting rocky reports Radar. Sources close to Johnny say he “isn’t handling anything well right now. People around him are worried about how Johnny is doing because he and Vanessa seem so fractured right now. Their relationship is heading toward the end.”

The source goes on, “Johnny has started reaching out to lawyers, probably to quietly discuss how to get out of the relationship. They’re not married but they’ve been together for years and have kids together so it isn’t as easy as just breaking up. Johhny is so talented at acting, but he doesn’t seem able to hide how badly things are going right now.”

Wow. This source is really talking him up. The source probably wants this relationship to end so they can move in. When Radar asked the source, “If you like Johnny so much, why don’t you marry him, huh?,” the source said, “Whaddya think I’m tryin’ to do here?!”

Johnny Depp has won the battle to remove his “explicit” sex scene with Angelina Jolie in their new crime thriller The Tourist. The shower scene had already been shot but due to pleading by his girlfriend, Vanessa Paradis, who wanted him to initially pull out of the project because of it and Angelina’s reputation, Depp fought to remove the scene from the film saying it “cheapened the movie.”

The script says that after walking into the shower, Taylor ‘lifts Cara against the glass, clutching at her slithery body, kissing her frantically.

‘Cara later turns abruptly to Frank and presses her body against his. He’s taken by surprise but willingly responds.?.?.?wrapping his arms around her.’

The Daily Mail claims Angelina Jolie tried to get Johnny to reconsider “but he got his way.” Also, this doesn’t make sense because if Vanessa was worried about Angelina stealing Johnny away from her, wouldn’t it be a little late because the scene was already filmed? Was she really embarrassed that everyone would see him nailing Angelina? If I was Johnny, I’d hope my longtime girlfriend would be happy for me.

Consequently, the award for Biggest Cock Block of the Day goes to Vanessa Paradis who has denied us a naked Angelina. The award was previously held by Jessica Alba’s lawyers who won it last Friday.

Sources who’ve worked with both Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis say their hygiene is terrible. Despite being named Sexiest Man Alive by PEOPLE, Depp rarely showers and isn’t big on personal cleanliness and neither is Vanessa.

“Vanessa is the furthest thing from a supermodel every second that she isn’t on a big photo shoot. No makeup and unruly hair – she’s a bit of a mess normally.”

Johnny’s new co-star, Angelina Jolie, will certainly get a taste of the real man while they film “The Tourist” together in Paris this month.

“When Johnny shows up for work or travel, he’s usually in rough shape,” sources say. “If he’s showing up for work on set, he’ll be a total professional, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be shiny and clean. He entrusts his movie looks to his hair, makeup and costume team. He’s quite a character in person.”

Damn that Johnny Depp. He doesn’t even have to shower, brush his teeth, comb his hair or anything to get chicks. And here I am doing it every day like a sucker. His b.o. must be like Spanish Fly to women. I bet he sits around all day in soiled underwear too. Well, I do that too, but he probably does it in a $4,000 chair. He’s living the dream, man!

[Images: Bauer-Griffin, Fame]

Johnny Depp will marry his French girlfriend of 8 years, Vanessa Paradis, in South France next summer. Depp has been wary of marriage saying if two people love each other and are together, then they are already married.

A source revealed to Britain’s Daily Express newspaper: “Johnny and Vanessa are planning to finally get married next summer at their villa. It will be a private event rather than a showbiz extravaganza.”

Johnny Depp is going to be officially off the market? Well that poster of him in just his speedos is definitely coming off my wall now. There’s nothing worse than being a tease. Sigh, I guess Orlando will have to take his place.