So what exactly does Victoria Silvstedt do anyway besides the obvious? Here she is hanging out with that one guy again. The same one that she had fun on the dock with a while back. His tongue must be magical because he looks more like he should be living under a bridge rather than frolicking around the beach with a “model”.

We haven’t heard much from Victoria Silvstedt these days but, if you must know, she’s doing great. She was in St. Barths on Monday propositioning two kids. A lady has to keep hustlin’, you know.

I don’t think anything came of it though. Mainly because they offered to pay her in bubblegum and she told them to “f*ck off.” What a mean b*tch.

Part-time prostitute Vicotira Silvstedt is in St. Tropez lounging around on the beach and being generally very ladylike as you can tell by the photo above. This is probably how she attracts men. It’s her own little honey pot. Similar to when I want to show off my guns. Oh, no. Don’t mind me ladies. I’m just pretending to lift this VERY heavy box. Bam!

[Bauer]

God bless unapologetic whores. If it weren’t for them, pictures like these of Victoria Silvstedt in St. Tropez seemingly masturbating would never exist. I mean, jesus. She’s right out in the open. There’s a guy literally two feet away from her. Even I make sure to hide behind at least a trash can when I do this kind of stuff inside the girl’s locker room. But, then again, that’s only because I can’t stand the giggling when girls see me with my pants down. It’s not like this is the first time she’s done this either. For example, these were taken three years ago.

More girls should take a page out of Victoria Silvstedt’s erotic play book. Jessica Alba, I’m looking at you.

These could very well be Victoria Silvstedt masturbating. It’s pretty ironic that Victoria Silvstedt and I are doing the same thing right now. I think there’s some sort of cosmic bond between us. To tell you the truth, I’ve also experienced this with Christina Aguilera, Kelly Brook, Keely Hazel, Diora Baird…. In my humble opinion all the hot people in the world have this bond and we all masturbate together at the same time.

You may look at this picture and think that Victoria Silvstedt is being raped, but the only thing being raped is my eyes. High res pictures appeared of Silvstedt and her pet troll yesterday and this time you can see what he looks like. I’ve concluded that he must have the greatest tongue on earth because I doubt personality alone can work this magic. Prepare for a visual assault of one of nature’s cruelest jokes.

Update: Pictures removed because of lawyers. Now you’ll never know.

These are obviously everywhere by now. This is Victoria Silvstedt and someone who I don’t think is her husband. Let’s see what she has to say about this.

“I was attacked yesterday when a man flew out of the water and nibbled on my labia. No more questions.”

Update: Did you know lawyers needed to write so much to say so little?