I’ll be taking a break from regular posting, but here are some quick hits.

There will be no third Narnia: Disney has decided to sever ties with Walden media effectively ending the Chronicles of Narnia series which it had hoped to be its own Harry Potter. At least until Walden can find someone else to co-finance and co-produce the film. This is a lot like high school when you asked a girl to prom but found out she didn’t put out so you dumped her at the last minute and went with someone uglier, but much sluttier. In this case, you’re Disney and Walden is the first girl. The slutty girl is any animation with a celebrity voiceover.

Watchmen still in trouble: A judge has ruled that Fox owns the rights to the Watchmen which is currently slated for release in March 2009 by Warner Bros. Fox seeks to stop the release of the film. Probably until they’re given a percentage of the profits. In other news, comic book nerds everywhere have fallen to their knees and screamed in agony to the heavens.

Michael Lohan says Lindsay is faking it: Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan blogged about her dad’s infidelity and illegitimate child. Today Michael denied those claims and said that there is a 99% chance that post was written by his arch-nemesis Samantha Ronson. Michael also insisted that the Illuminati were after him. After which he whispered, “Illuminati means minorities, right?”

Kim Kardashian denies it: Kim Kardashian has come to her brother Rob’s defense after the often incoherent Courtney Love made an accusatory post about him. Courtney claimed Rob punched her employee in the nose and shouted homophobic epithets at him. Kim says this never happened and Courtney will be hearing from her attorneys soon. Another thing Courtney will be hearing? The orderly pleading with her to take her meds.

According to THR, Warner Bros. is planning a live action CG version of the popular “Yogi Bear” cartoon much like “Alvin & The Chipmunks.”

Endeavor-repped Joshua Sternin and Jeffrey Ventimilia, who exec produced “That ’70s Show” and are writing the feature “Tooth Fairy” for Fox, are penning the screenplay. Donald De Line is producing via his De Line Pictures; Karen Rosenfelt is also producing, with Jon Berg overseeing for Warners.

The project, culled from Warners’ vast library, is planned as a live-action/animated hybrid along the lines of Fox’s 2007 hit “Alvin & the Chipmunks.” Much of the movie will be live-action, but Yogi Bear and sidekick Boo Boo will be done in CG.

Is there any childhood memory that Hollywood won’t rape for profit? The short answer: no. The long answer: no. If your grandmother were a famous cartoon from the 80′s or 90′s, those monsters would probably rape her too. Poor grandma.

In response to this travesty, I’ve included an epilepsy inducing music video to commemorate Yogi. I hope you find it as confusing as I did.

In addition to Warner Bros. screwing amputees out of prosthetic limbs, one of their workers maimed themselves while shooting Blood Diamond. Edward Visage, a special-effects guy, lost his hand while handling a squib (a small explosive device).

“Warner Bros. was too cheap to bring in a special-effects guy from the U.S. They used a local guy, and there was an accident and the guy lost his hand. It’s ironic because they also brought in orphans for extras who had lost their limbs from machete-wielding rebel soldiers in the war – and this guy lost a hand on set.”

This is refuted by another source who says Visage was a professional special-effects worker who, according to authorities, followed all proper procedures. The studio has compensated him and given him a prosthetic hand.

Good job Warner. You lied to amputated children about buying them prosthetic limbs and now we find out some guy’s hand was blown off. We can assume the next story will be about how Warner Bros. ironically funded the movie through blood diamonds or how they lost a bunch of machetes one night and found a group of limbless children wandering around.

During the filming of Blood Diamond, starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Jennifer Connelly, Warner Bros. brought in 27 child amputees as extras. In addition to these victims of war being paid the going rate, the studio was reportedly so touched by their situation that they promised all of them prosthetic limbs when filming completed. Months later, not a single one had a new limb. When asked, Warner Bros. told them they had to wait until the release of the movie so they could milk it for publicity.

Young Nkululo Mnisi – whose arms and legs were cut off by machete-wielding rebels – used to be taunted by cruel classmates as “baboon” because of the way he ran on his stumps and crutches. Mnisi told a South African newspaper that the dream that kept him going was the promise of getting artificial limbs so he’d be able to play soccer like a normal child.

Look, there’s a sob story to go with it. Warner Bros. told Page Six that they “were working on it.” That’s pr speak for, “fuck off.” In the meantime, an African Charity has ponied up the money to outfit these kids with prosthetic limbs and said if Warner Bros. ever gets around to their “promise” the money will go to other limbless children.

Damn Warner Bros. and their empty promises. I was going to make some limbless jokes like “up in arms” or “leg to stand on” or “leg up”, but I realized I would have had to punch myself in the face. Instead, I just hope the poor baboon will play soccer one day. It would suck if someone cut up his prosthetic with a machete. Well, amusing at first, but ultimately sad because those things are expensive.