Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries’ wedding reception was shut down by cops shortly after midnight because of noise complaints. The event was originally planned to continue until 4:30 a.m. but the buzz kill marshal arrived to shut the party down and told DJ Cassidy to move along. A few guests from the 440 that attended such as Ryan Seacrest and Lindsay Lohan didn’t mind as they continued to party until 2 a.m. or whenever the bar closed.

And it didn’t keep Eva Longoria and her beau, Eduardo Cruz, from getting frisky on the dance floor, either. The source tells us even after the music stopped, the couple were “all over each other all night,” and were spotted “making out” while dancing. — NYDN

To think, a few years ago Kim Kardashian was just another girl a rapper named Ray J peed on. Look at her now, ma! She’s on top of the world! *Twirls finger in air apathetically*

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries finally married on Saturday. The details were sold to PEOPLE while E! will broadcast the nuptials in a four hour special. The two wed in a private estate in Montecito, CA owned by Google exec Eric Schmidt in front of 440 guests.

The wedding, which had been hailed as the American Royal Wedding (bwahaha) featured A-listers such as: Demi Lovato, Babyface, Vera Wang, Mario Lopez, Mark Ballas, Ciara, Carmelo Anthony, Eva Longoria and Eduardo Cruz, Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough, Alan Thicke, Cheryl Burke, Melanie Brown, Maria Menounos, Sugar Ray Leonard, Serena Williams, Kathie Lee Gifford, Brittny Gastineau, Greta Van Susteren, Jillian Barberie, Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne, Scottie and Larsa Pippen, and Dina, Ali and Lindsay Lohan. I guarantee you 99% of the people were there only for the open bar.

If you must know details, Kim wore a custom-designed Vera Wang gown with full tulle skirt, basque waist and hand-pieced Chantilly lace appliqué on the bodice and train. She wore Guiseppe Zanotti shoes. Kris wore black tuxedo pants with white tuxedo shirt and a white bow tie. Rings were provided by Lorraine Schwartz and were no doubt paid for by E!. Not only that, Kim changed two more times later that night.

Meanwhile, at the reception, Lindsay Lohan was caught taking every centerpiece and putting them up for sale on eBay.

Couple videos after the jump.

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom actually got married on Sunday at a private ceremony in Beverly Hills. The wedding was also filmed for her reality show Keeping Up With the Kardashians. At 5:12 p.m., Khloe drove down the aisle in a custom fitted motorized wheelchair. No, actually, PEOPLE says she walked in a Vera Wang gown. Probably because they couldn’t get the motorized wheelchair in time.

TMZ says the wedding had to take place on Sunday because E! was footing the $1 million bill. This was a problem for Lamar because he wanted a prenup. Instead, he’ll have to settle on a postnup which will be figured out and signed afterward. Therefore, there’s speculation that the wedding wasn’t legally binding.

Now here’s the intrigue. There’s talk that Sunday’s wedding might not be the real deal — it could be a non-binding ceremony. It’s common with a postnup that bride and groom would not officially tie the knot until after they sign the document. What they typically do sign before the ceremony is an acknowledgment that it’s not really an official wedding, to prevent misunderstandings down the road.

When Khloe first heard about the possibility of two weddings, her eyes got real wide and she asked, “You mean I get two cakes?!” She almost died of happiness right then and there. True story.

Tired of whoring her junk around Hollywood, Bigfoot may be ready to settle down and hinted at a possible summer wedding with Dough Reinhardt. Says E!:

At the MTV Awards, the thin-but-not-too-thin rich bitch started giggling and looked at Doug, attached to her arm: “You know, we’ll see. If things go the way they are…Let’s just say I’ve never been happier. You never know.”

Of course, her wonky eye made it hard to discern what she was giggling at or responding to. Just to the left of her was a clown juggling water balloons. Maybe she didn’t even hear what E! said. It’s always so hard to interview Paris when one of her eyes won’t cooperate.

Just like Spencer and Heidi, Salma Hayek also held a second wedding on Saturday to her French billionaire Francois-Henri Pineault. The ceremony took place at Venice’s Teatro La Fenice opera house. 150 guests showed up (50 less than at Heidi and Spencer’s), but as you well know, it’s quality not quantity.

In stark contrast to Heid and Spencer’s almost D-listers, Hayek’s wedding included stars such as Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Ed Norton, Woody Harrelson, Charlize Theron, Stella McCartney and Ashley Judd who serenaded the bride and groom with a Hawaiian version of Over the Rainbow.

While guests danced to a 14-member band inside the opera house, Theron and companion Stuart Townsend, along with designer McCartney, took a break outside. At one point, the two women sang “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina,” from Evita, before Hayek – who had exchanged her Balenciaga wedding gown for a knee-length fuschia dress– joined them for the Rolling Stones’ “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.”

Asked for comment, Salma Hayek’s breasts said they were very happy with the way things turned out. They especially loved the dress which allowed for both breathability and heavability. Oh and Salma Hayek said the wedding was pretty cool too or whatever.

Angels wept on Saturday as two douchebags, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, joined together in holy matrimony. They exchanged vows in front of 200 other famewhores including Audrina Patridge, Kirstin Cavallari and Brody Jenner. Heidi rented a diamond floral necklace, diamond earrings and diamond hairpins to avoid looking like a complete pauper. Spencer wore a suit. Also, most likely rented.

Turning the evening into the gaudy affair that everyone expected, they hired a skywriter to write “Spencer loves Heidi.” Heidi also Twittered throughout most of the day, but later discovered her only two followers were out of town.

At the end of the night, a black Rolls Royce Phantom pulled up to the church steps marking the most exciting and anticipated part of the evening. Spencer and Heidi leaving.