The father of John Graziano, who you’ll remember as the guy who Nick Hogan turned into a vegetable, was today arrested for attempting to solicit a hit man to kill his estranged wife. Graziano tried to pay for part of the job with a $13.06 gift card. TMZ reports:

According to police, Graziano told an undercover officer posing as a “go-between” to a hit man that he wanted to have his wife Debra killed. Perhaps most troubling — cops say Graziano wanted her killed in an automobile accident.

Graziano allegedly paid for the hit with $1,100 cash, a $1,000 personal check and a $13.06 gift card to Westshore Pizza.

Yet another thing you can’t use a gift card for. First you find out they have an expiration date, then you find out your drug dealer doesn’t accept it and now you can’t even use it to pay off a hit man. Why even buy one?

I couldn’t find a good photo of his dad, so I searched for John Graziano and put up the first one I could find that wasn’t absolutely terrifying.

This has nothing to do with celebrities, but a 14-year-old boy in China was killed when a gas cylinder chair, common in all offices, exploded into his rectum. The extensive bleeding that followed killed him. The blast came from the highly pressurized gas which is used to raise and lower a chair. Ouch.

I can’t say I’m surprised. That’s how they do it. They lull you into a false sense of security with their comfortable leather padding and adjustable heights and then, bam, one day they explode shards of themselves into your rectum and you die from extensive anal bleeding. Is there no one that can save us from these vile monsters?