Wesley Snipes is in the custody of federal authorities and on his way to federal prison to begin his 3 year sentence for tax evasion.

Wesley was found guilty in 2008 for not paying taxes on the $38 million he’s earned since 1999. He’s been appealing ever since. Today a U.S. District Court judge, clearly tired of his shenanigans, ordered him to surrender immediately. “The Defendant Snipes had a fair trial … The time has come for the judgment to be enforced.”

On the bright side, the taxes he withheld from the government can easily buy him 100,000 cigarettes for use as prison currency. He’ll live like a king and might not even be raped!

Wesley Snipes was sentenced to three years in jail by a Florida judge for not filing taxes for at least three years. This was the maximum sentence that could be given. Snipes argued that the IRS “is not a properly established government agency.” Snipes also claimed he “was personally not subject to taxation because he was a ‘stateless person’ or ‘nonresident alien,’” or a “‘nontaxpayer,’” which prosecutors flatly rejected. In other words, “special.” Letters from Denzel Washington, Woody Harrelson and Judge Joe Brown extolling his virtues didn’t help either.

“In sum, Snipes’ willful [sic] refusal to file income tax returns is far from a ‘garden variety’ tax offense,” the prosecutors wrote. “Snipes’ nearly decade-long campaign against the IRS has combined brazen tax-defier tactics with sophisticated concealment of income and assets.”

The government hates when you steal money from them. Especially when it amounts to $13 million. In any other case, if you’re a celebrity and live in SoCal, they treat you like a king. For example, Richie Sambora drove drunk with his daughter in the car and instead of charging him with child endangerment, I’m pretty sure the judge blew him.

Upon landing in Orlando, Florida, Wesley Snipes has surrendered to authorities. He faces federal tax fraud charges and has been released on $1 million bail. The Blade star claims he has been unfairly targeted by prosecutors even though they found him to be in possession of questionable trust funds.

He’ll be allowed to finish filming in Namibia until he has to return in January to surrender his passport. If convicted, Wesley could go to jail for 16 years. Judging by how the system works, it’ll probably be a nice jail with a spa and tennis courts and $25 lunches. Like a resort with a bedtime. He’ll probably beat up some guy and rape him on the first day because he heard that’s how you establish dominance and not get ass raped yourself. The other inmates will say nothing like that happens in this prison and then Wesley will wink at them and say, “It does now.”

Contrary to what TMZ said about Wesley Snipes being on the lam, he has been in Namibia filming since August. If all goes as planned, he could spend 16 years in prison due to tax fraud. Lucky for him Namibia doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the US.

It’s hard to believe he needed to cheat the IRS out of millions. He should have made a lot of bank off Demolition Man. Why that didn’t get an oscar nomination, I’ll never know. His career has been on a meteoric rise since. Just take a look at his last movie, The Detonator. With a name like that, how can you go wrong?

A warrant is out for Wesley Snipes arrest after he defrauded the IRS for millions of dollars. How many millions? $12 millions. I made the “s” bold on purpose so the grammar Nazis wouldn’t come. Wesley thought he was smart by making false claims for refunds between 1996 and 1997. He then didn’t file tax returns from 1999 to 2006. The indictment reads:

“through deceit, craft, trickery, and dishonest means to make it appear as if Snipes had no liability for federal income taxes, when in fact defendant Snipes had such liability.”

To prove how smart he was, Wesley filed for a $7.3 million refund. Way to stay under the radar smart guy. Now he’s allegedly on run from Johnny Law, but you don’t mess with Johnny Law because Johnny Law is waiting for you with a spiked dildo. In hindsight, he should have fought Joe Rogan after Joe called him out last year. Sure, Wesley would have got his ass kicked, but it would have been better than that spiked dildo.