Yes, she is died. According to TMZ, one of Whitney’s entourage found her unresponsive at the Beverly Hilton hotel. Sadly, Justin Bieber did not jump out from behind the curtains and yell, “Y’all just got Punk’d!!” Nope, unless Whitney’s pulling a Tupac (who IS alive), count another black performer taken too soon.

No reports have confirmed the cause of death (crack), but (crack) people have their guesses (crack). File this under did you know: Whitney once admitted to Oprah smoking marijuana laced with crack for a full week with Bobby Brown while watching tv. And yet, Bobby Brown is the one who lives. *shakes head*

Listen, Whitney Houston don’t need no seat belts. The power of her mind will keep her from flying twenty feet into the air in the event of a crash. So of course Whitney Houston is going to get a little diva on crew members who tell her to buckle up.

We’re told Whitney refused and “got diva” on the crew member … until another crew member came over and warned Houston that if she didn’t buckle up, she would have to get off the plane.

Whitney eventually allowed one of the crew members to grab the buckle and fasten it for the singer — and the plane was then cleared for takeoff.

Sources close to the singer tell us … Whitney “overreacted a little bit after missing an earlier flight but she’s still 100% sober and was on the way to Detroit for her first day of shooting a new movie.” TMZ

You know there’s a problem when, after every incident, friends feel the need to mention you’re 100% sober. Granted, that doesn’t help the crazy. Luckily, the crew member calmed Whitney down by making choo-choo train noises while fastening the seatbelt.

PEOPLE confirms that Whitney Houston needs help. The 47-year-old has checked into an out-patient rehab program for drugs and alcohol. Whitney’s rep continues, “Whitney voluntarily entered the program to support her long-standing recovery process.” A source tells TMZ that “she’s cleansing herself to get ready for a new movie.”

The program lets Whitney go out in public but she has to bring a monitor. Basically, she’s paying someone to be her mother. The good news is nagging comes free of charge.

Though she denies it, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown’s daughter, 18-year-old Bobbi Kristina, is shown doing lines of coke in photographs released by this week’s National Enquirer. The Enquirer says Bobbi’s ex leaked them. Bobbi K, however, claims she was set up and that there was a second gunmen. Oops, mixed conspiracies. Bobbi responded to the photos via Twitter:

The pictures_ a former very dear person to me did this. Set me up to make it look exactly what it looks like. God will smite them yes..But it’s really not what it looks like.. People will do anything for money which is extremely sad, and I’m very hurt by this.Thing’s people do these days to hurt others is a shame. All I can do now, is keep my head up high, keep looking towards the lord.All the lord is telling me is be still. That’s all, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. #BeStill.
I love my family so much. My mom just comforted me to the max, and I’m so thankful for her. Thank you so much lord for blessing me with an Phenomenal family and incredibly phenomenal mother. Thank you for giving me the strength to move forward and put things in the past.

And the person that did this was a result of a horrible relationship that went sour. I was in love_ he was in love with money. I’ve learned My lesson. I’m so much greater and blessed for it today, and I believe nothing less. That is the last I will speak of this, let’s praise god And be greatful and thankful for your family, and people that truly love you, strength, courage, and life lessons learned. GodblessUall «3

I like how she says it’s not what it looks like despite very clearly putting a straw up to her nose and sniffing lines. I also like how she brings the lord into her statement and implies everyone is out to get her even though this is the first time I’ve ever heard about Whitney Houston’s daughter. You know what kind of people get this paranoid and write a three paragraph denial? Cokeheads. She might as well typed #WINNING at the end.

Concertgoers paying around $200 for a seat were less than impressed with Whiteny Houston’s during a performance at the Brisbane Entertainment Center on Monday night. To call it bad would be an understatement. It was absolutely terrible. Houston checked out after two songs and brought her brother to help her sing onstage.

One audience member said “She couldn’t entertain a dead rat.” To be fair, not a lot of people can considering it’s dead and can show no emotion.

Houston’s promoter, Andrew McManus, defended her and, at the same time, kept it realistic. Andrew admitted Houston’s throat was a little croaky but that she was hitting her high notes. Although he added that if you wanted to hear the Whiteny of 20 years ago, maybe you should build a god damn time machine and quit annoying him with your refund requests. Just kidding. He actually said you should buy her CD. No, really.

Is this a surprise to anyone? Whitney’s voice has been ravaged by drugs. She doesn’t even sing in the shower anymore. She just sort of stands there swaying under the hot water trying to keep the vomit down. All fans had to do was look up a few videos of Whitney from the past couple of years to see what they can expect. 20 years ago, Whitney sounded like an angel. Now she sounds like someone curbed stomped the angel, cut out their vocal cords and replaced it with a digital voice box that throat cancer patients use.

Whitney Houston brought her cracked out voice to X Factor on Sunday and “sang herself out of her clothes.” During her performance of “Million Dollar Bill” (her first UK TV appearance in 12 years), the back of Houston’s dress snapped open. She shrugged and continued to screech her way through the song.

The following mini-interview was equally as painful as her performance. Turns out Whitney doesn’t know when her album is coming out. In fact, it almost sounds like she doesn’t know what an album is. (Ablum?) It looks like the only reason she showed up is because someone told her that if she sang on the show, a bunch of money would rain down from the sky and they’d let her pick it up afterward. It’s not clear whether or not they told her it was fake money. No worries though. She’ll find out when she goes to pay her dealer.

Years of crack cocaine have only improved Whitney Houston’s voice. Here she sounds like an angel more than ever. Ha, just kidding. It sounds like someone punched her in the throat or she has emphysema or both. Whitney, however, blames her crackling voice on Oprah. Before she took the stage in Central Park, she told the audience,

“I’m so sorry. I did ‘Oprah.’ I’ve been talking for so long. … I talked so much, my voice,” she said, trailing off.

“I shouldn’t be talking. I should be singing,” she said before breaking into her final, crowd-pleasing number, “I’m Every Woman.”

Right. I’m sure that’s the reason she sounds like a crack addict trying to karaoke. The people with no vocal cords who have to use those voice digitizers could have sang better than this.

In his tell-all book, Bobby Brown claims Whitney Houston was the reason he started doing coke and heroin. Before he married her, he only smoked marijuana.

“I never used cocaine until after I met Whitney. Before then, I had experimented with other drugs, but marijuana was my drug of choice,” Brown writes in “Bobby Brown: The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But,” out next month. “At one point in my life, I used drugs uncontrollably. I was using everything I could get my hands on, from cocaine to heroin, weed and cooked cocaine.”

Bobby also keeps it real classy.

One of his most public indiscretions was an affair with former exotic dancer Karrine “Superhead” Steffans. “Yes, I’ve slept with her,” he confesses. “Yes, I’ve spent several nights at her house. But she was only good for what her nickname stood for.”

I’ll admit. Dating a woman nicknamed “Superhead” does sound pretty awesome. The only qualms I have with that is figuring out the number of guys it takes to make a nickname like that official.

Prepare yourself for another exciting day in the dumb antics of famous people.

1. John Mayer has a secret love he wants to keep hidden and it’s not Jessica Simpson. Don’t feel so ashamed John. [Stereogum]
2. Kevin Bacon and wife Kyra Sedgwick gave their dog away after one of its eyes popped out of its socket. [Celebrity Dog Watcher]
3. Dave Navarro was his dapper self on New Years. [Celebrity Smack]
4. Angelina Jolie is the Virgin Mary of Walmart. [Celebitchy]
5. Whitney Houston had a yard sale. [CityRag]
6. The O.C. has been canceled. [The Evil Beet]
7. Brad Pitt hits the Caribbean. Women everywhere swoon. [Hot Momma Gossip]
8. Emilie de Ravin, the blond chick from Lost, is now single. Fun fact: She was raped in the Hills Have Eyes. [I'm Not Obsessed]
9. The 24 season premiere should be awesome. [Just Jared]

On Friday, September 8, Whitney Houston filed for divorce from Bobby Brown. Houston, 43, and Brown, 39, wed on July 18, 1992. They have one daughter, Bobbi Kristina, 13.

A little part of me has died. Where else am I going to turn to to hear about spousal abuse, drug abuse, infidelity and Whitney’s feces all rolled into one neat little package?