Whitney Port from The City (it’s sad that this is all she’s known for) walked around the beach during Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. She was with her friend and a curly haired guy. Ugh. Everyone here looks so plain. I could have gone down to my beach with my long lens and secretly took pictures of random people like I did last week and they still would have ended up ten times better looking. She’s so plain that even vanilla yogurt would be bored to death.

What’s sad is that reality stars like Whitney Port who are D-listers on The Hills can still take time out of their busy schedule of doing nothing to relax by a pool in Miami. I wonder if she considers herself an actress like how some people consider themselves football players after a game of flag football. I mean, yea, they technically are, but at the same time, they’re complete idiots.

Whitney Port, who you may remember from the background of The Hills, showed up at a pool in Miami wearing, wait for it, a bikini. She’s got a nice body and all, but that doesn’t make up for her face. It’s all scrunched up like she’s always sneering at you. Plus, it looks like she’s always off balance. She may have problems with her inner ear. This girl has a lot of issues.

Today’s top story: Whitney Port in Central Park bending over with her nipple hanging out. Much like other important events of our time, fifty years from now I will remember what I was doing when I saw these photos. Sitting in front of the computer not giving a shit.

The Hills supporting cast member, Whitney Port, was surprised to find out she was important enough to have her pictures taken. Sunning by a Miami pool, Whitney read Lauren Conrad’s new book. “This certainly isn’t an Us Magazine,” Whitney quipped. Although, she didn’t so much as read it as scan through it to highlight all the parts that alluded to her. Of course, the book is still in pristine condition. Sad Whitney is sad.

Here’s Whitney Port from The City mic’d up at the beach. Ratings for MTV’s The Hills spin-off were low so they thought it’d be a good idea to put the star of the show in a bikini and maybe have her slip a little nipple. And if that doesn’t work, then show snot running out her nose. Rawr!

MTV just released a preview of the new Whitney Port helmed reality series The City. That’s right folks. She’s moving from The Hills to New York. Check the preview above and let out a woeful sigh with me. *Sigh* Since I’m at a loss for words, I’ll let Captain Picard describe my frustration.

I was about to post about how Hollywood cares less and less about talent with each passing year and the easiest way to make it in the business is to be an opportunistic, vapid whore willing to weasel your way onto a  retardadly popular, grating reality show. Then I was going to use Whitney Port as an example. Except, not anymore. Turns out Whitney does have a talent. She can fly. Holy crap!