Demi Lovato is almost 20-years-old which is like 60 to Wilmer Valderrama. Hence, he dumped her. Lovato hinted at the breakup by tweeting a Marilyn Monroe quote. “A wise girl kisses but doesn’t love, listens but doesn’t believe, and leaves before she is left.” Minutes later she tweeted, “The smartest thing a woman can ever learn, is to never need a man.”

Wilmer couldn’t be reached for comment because he was busy waiting outside the Disney approved rehab center for another screwed up teen to bang.

Wilmer Valderrama has somehow slept with most of young Hollywood. He allegedly popped Mandy Moore’s cherry and then went on to Lindsay Lohan when she turned 18. Now that he’s older. He’s settled down. Ha, just kidding. No. These days he’s still flipping through Mickey Mouse’s yearbook and is now nailing Demi Lovato who recently checked into rehab. Lovato’s rep had no comment while Wilmer’s rep denied the relationship.

Following a breakup with Joe Jonas, Demi Lovato clung to an older actor, Wilmer Valderrama. Before the Disney star entered a facility for “emotional and physical” issues, sources said Lovato, 18, introduced pals to the “That ’70s Show” star as her boyfriend. Valderrama, 30, first connected with Lovato when they filmed a public-service spot together in Chile for earthquake relief in March, around the time she announced her relationship with Jonas. “The two started seeing each other in May right after her breakup with Jonas,” a source on the tour said. “She would show us pictures of them together.”

How does he do it? He must have a large collection of knives.

• Kelly Brook – Girls of FHM – 2007. Need I say more? [Bastardly]
• Angelina Jolie returns to Africa. [HB]
• Worst hair and makeup at the Oscars. [Celebitchy]
• The aliens are amongst us. [Ninjadude]

• John Travolta’s Oscar rug. [CityRag]
• Fun art with celebrities. [Celebrity Smack]
• Eddie Murphy is a sore loser? [Dlisted]
• Jimmy Kimmel’s take on Al Gore’s inconvenient song. [SOW]

• Reno 911 gets the job done. [Pajiba]
• Jessica Biel and Wilmer Valderrama. [Celebslam]
• Ana Beatriz Barros is sexy. [The Grumpiest]
• Will Ferrell’s song at the Oscars. [ICYDK]

Mariah Carey thinks she’s going to be mistaken for a porn star. Not with those chunky thighs she’s not. [Celebrity Smack]

Posh Spice threatens lawsuit. She thinks her jeans are more awesome than they really are and wants to get paid. [Glitterati]

Mel Gibson is bat shit insane. [Pajiba]

Mandy Moore forgives Wilmer Valderrama for telling everyone she’s a slut. What a slut. [Celebslam]

Heather Mills got over $200 million in a secret settlement. Someone also found a bunch of photos of her and Paul that was thrown out including “Mills draped in a sheet in bed, with her artificial leg standing in a black stiletto nearby.” Jesus, it’s too early for an erection. [Celebitchy]

Tori Spelling has some weird stuff at her yard sale. No sign of her career. [CityRag]

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman aren’t too friendly. So this is what the death of comedy looks like. [Popsugar]

Kelly Clarkson vandalizes Amy Lee from Evanescence’s house. [Just Jared]

Random message to Paris Hilton. [Drunken Stepfather]

Jessica Alba could take a crap in her hand and smear her feces over my face and I would be in shock. Not because I now smell like I just took a bath in a septic tank, but because a part of Jessica Alba has touched me. With that being said, one thing that I will not tolerate is Jessica Alba hanging out with the man whore they call Wilmer Valderrama. He must have stolen my diary because he’s systematically going down my list of people to have sex with. Uh, that’s if I kept a diary. Which I don’t. Oh, that pink book with a lock on it? It’s nothing. Nothing at all.

Last Monday, Wilmer Valderrama was at a party in the Hamptons and arranged for a helicopter to pick up Scarlett Johansson to join him. Josh Hartnett got a little jealous and started calling throughout the night to check up on Scarlett. The word “dignity” springs into mind. I really don’t know why because it should have no business anywhere near this story.

Valderrama was hosting a party at the Star Room, after which the two stars left to attend a friend’s birthday celebration at the club Boutique.

Although the rendezvous was innocent, partygoers report that Josh kept calling his lady love on her cell phone.

“Finally Scarlett just handed her phone to Wilmer and said, ‘Talk to Josh. Tell him we’re friends.’”

I’d be worried too if I were Josh. Not only is Fez some Hollywood starlet magnet, but Isn’t there also some unwritten rule that if a guy flys you to a party in the Hamptons via helicopter, they are guaranteed at least a blow job? Ladies, am I right?