If the chance arose, I’d probably offer myself to Hugh Jackman (no homo). He’s a manly man, with a caring compassionate side. Case in point.

Jackman, star of Wolverine opening today, spent $4,308.87 on 800 Arizona fans who camped outside a theater waiting for Wolverine to premiere the next day. That chunk of change bought 67 breakfast trays of bagels and muffins and 80 gallons of coffee.

What the hell? No orange juice, scrambled eggs, bacon and pancakes? I take back everything I said. You are dead to me, Hugh Jackman.

Hugh Jackman is “heartbroken” by the leak of a work print of his upcoming movie Wolverine. The same work print that Roger Friedman of Fox 411 downloaded, partially reviewed and was terminated for. The FBI and the MPAA have vowed to apprehend whoever made it available online, but as of yet, have made no progress despite the identifiers inserted into the film.

Hugh says this is akin to a Ferrari without a paint job, but doesn’t think this will affect actual attendance. He said this after being lowered from a helicopter on an aerial wire.

Whatever. If Gore Verbinski has taught me anything, it’s that you can’t catch a pirate. Even if you are given three chances. Plus, the MPAA doesn’t even understand what a computer is. To them, it’s a magical box that steals their money. If you asked them how one works, they’ll tell you that about 30 gnomes cast under a spell are stuffed inside to do whatever you command them to do. They’re still cursing at the mailman because he hasn’t delivered the e-mail reply his son said he sent him last week.

[Header image via Splash News]