NBC passed on Wonder Woman starring Adrianne Palicki (Friday Night Lights) after early test screenings earned mixed reviews. These four minutes of footage from the pilot show why. It’s terrible.

Two minutes of it is just Wonder Woman running and floating in the air. This is about as exciting as watching paint dry. Then there’s the fight scene between her and some actors from the thug emporium. Um, why exactly do these guys think they can go hand to hand with her? Didn’t they just see her almost saw a car in half with her body?

Anyway, it looks like the show is from 2011 but the special effects are from the 90′s. The only way I’d watch this is if they constantly zoomed in on Adrianne Palicki’s boobs and they were in hi-def 3D and she reached out of my LCD and gave me a handjob.

After reading the synopsis for the Wonder Woman remake and looking at the set pictures with the terrible costumes, the consensus was this show would be terrible. The remake had Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) as a CEO of a major conglomerate by day and an Amazonian superhero with a fleet of planes by night. NBC seemed to agree it sounded awful as they just passed on the pilot from David E. Kelley and WB TV.

According to EW, early test screenings earned mixed reviews and the fact that Adrianne Palicki’s Wonder Woman costume wasn’t patriotic enough was a sticking point. Although not even a redesign could save the show.

Now all Adrianne Palicki can do is wallow in self-pity and look back on those horrendous set shots. Seriously, what was up with those. It looked like her boobs were about to hit her in the face. If that costume was any lower, she might as well have been wearing tassels.

Adrianne Palicki filmed her first scenes of the new Wonder Woman series last night in costume. It was spectacularly dumb. Did they even put any thought into this at all or did they tell the costume designer to do a quick Google image search? It’s like she ran straight out of the 70′s.

Another thing. Why do celebrities look so ridiculous when they run? She looks like she’s chasing someone who stole her lunch money.

Adrianne Palicki (Friday Night Lights, Lone Star, Legion) has been cast in the title role for NBC’s Wonder Woman. Not a tough task since Palicki was the only person invited to test for the role. The Daily Beast has an early draft of the pilot. In it, Wonder Woman has three identities (Wonder Woman, Diana Themyscira and “mousy” assistant Diana Price).

The pilot episode, which Kelley notes is designed to run “without commercial interruption,” revolves around Los Angeles-based mega-billionaire Diana—who collects planes and a multitude of transforming aircraft called “Ultimates” (no invisible plane in sight here)—as she attempts to take down an evil pharmaceutical company run by morally corrupt scientist Veronica Cale, who is mass-producing a human-growth hormone that is causing its users, mostly black inner city youth, to die. Along the way, she tackles criminals, a Senate subcommittee, and a broken heart, the latter courtesy of lost love Steve Trevor.
Managing to be both cloying and tragically un-hip, Kelley’s Wonder Woman script seems an about-face for this 70-year-old iconic character. Merchandise meetings and legal jargon jostle uncomfortably with superheroics, pajama parties with saving the world.
The result is a Wonder Woman who is more like Kelley’s Ally McBeal than the feminist superhero who stands side-by-side with her fellow DC icons Superman and Batman. This is a woman whose feelings are hurt by people commenting on her breast size, who is looking for love in all the wrong places, and who wants to have it all! (No sign of a unisex bathroom yet but other Kelley tropes seem liberally scattered throughout the script. Fortunately, there’s no dancing baby.) But the stilted dialogue and bizarre narrative conceits pale in comparison with some of the sacrilege being committed here.

I like the part where David E. Kelly turns a strong, determined superhero into a raging bag of hormones and insecurity. I can’t wait for the part where one of the criminals she tries to takes down asks her about her feelings and they have a good cry about it.

Just a little while ago there was a rumor that Rachel Bilson would play Wonder Woman. She did wear the Wonder Woman outfit in an episode of The O.C. which is pretty close. The one thing you have to realize is Wonder Woman is a 6 foot tall Amazonian. Rachel Bilson is a staggering 5’3”. But hey, it’s the movies. Just look at Tom Cruise. Now for some reason or another, Katherine McPhee is also tied to the movie.

I just laugh about it. I mean, I’m not gonna deny it, or admit to it. But it’s funny because no one has even received this so-called Wonder Woman script. It’s like there’s so much buzz created around a script that isn’t even in the hands of any actresses yet.

Way to play coy and milk your 15 minutes of fame. Everyone knows there’s no way in hell you’re gonna play Wonder Woman. It would be like casting Sidney Poitier as Neville Flynn in Snakes on a Plane. To make that analogy work you have to flip flop it and turn it sideways. Work with me.

Despite all these rumors, I’m still holding out for the original rumored Wonder Woman. Charisma Carpenter.

The big news on Friday was that Aaron Spelling died. The man responsible for giving people a glimpse to what it would look like if you were a 30 yr old trying to pass as a high schooler and for inducing premature puberty in boys with Charlie’s Angels, but inhibiting them again with 7th Heaven.

• Wonder Woman may be played by Priyanka Chopra. My vote is still for Charisma Carpenter.
• The Clerks II trailer is out.
• Nicole Kidman has officially dominated Keith Urban.
• Trying to steal some of Kidman’s thunder, Marcia Cross also got married.
• Click is #1 at the box-office, but Waist Deep almost makes just as much as Click per theatre.

You won’t be seeing Kate Beckinsale in another Wonder Woman costume anytime soon. Actually, you won’t ever be seeing her in one unless, like me, you were following behind her and her daughter on Halloween.

Kate has pulled herself out of the running to play Wonder Woman. It was believed both she and Catherine Zeta-Jones were being considered for the role. All because Kate wore a Wonder Woman costume embarassing her daughter while they were trick-or-treating. If it was me, I would have just been in awe that for every boy we passed, a magic stain formed on their pants.

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