The Cannes Film Festival always has a bunch of weird films. It’s pretty hard to find just one to highlight. The Paperboy starring Zac Efron, Matthew McConaughey, John Cusack and Nicole Kidman might just make the cut.

The Paperboy is about two brothers, Efron and McConaughey, investigating whether or not Cusack really committed a murder. Vulture has more detailed description.

One of the more important takeaways from Vulture’s rundown is that Nicole Kidman’s character might be sexually insane. She’s so fixated on Cusack’s character that the first time she meets him she has an explosive orgasm.

Later on in the movie, Zac is stung by jellyfish and drags himself to shore. Kidman pushes her way through a bunch of girls to get to him and shouts, “If anyone’s gonna pee on him, it’s gonna be me,” and blasts a stream of pee onto his face and chest thereby making this an Oscar contender for 2012. In fact, just give her that little gold statue now.

Zac Efron is down in Australia promoting The Lucky One but the real lucky ones were radio hosts Mel & Matty, 1/2 of which looked like an extra from The Outsiders, who were taught the art of unhooking a bra in 0.5 seconds by Zac himself. They still don’t quite get it at the end. Either because they have a learning disability or they’re playing dumb.

Did anyone get the sense that Zac was a little annoyed by the whole thing? It looked like he was a minute away from sighing heavily, putting his face into his hands and groaning.

Last week, Zac Efron dropped a magnum condom on the red carpet of The Lorax premiere. Today on TODAY, Matt Lauer confronted the 24-year-old about it.

Lauer asked Zac to take him through what happened. Uh, well, he took his hand out of his pocket and a condom dropped out. There’s not much else to say. However, that’s not what Zac said. He replied, “I don’t want to take you through it.”

With enough pressuring, Zac finally admits he dropped something and that since then he’s instituted a pocket-checking policy. Something? “Say it, say it!” “Condom!” *Zac Efron begins to sparkle*

Lauer eventually said the c-word. To which Zac replied, “That was really hard for you to say!” But he managed to end the interview with an educational message. “Always remember to bag it when you’re doing a dirty ho,” said Efron.

Last Sunday at The Lorax premiere, Zac Efron pranced down the red carpet and a condom accidentally jumped out of his pocket screaming “I don’t belong here!” when he took his hand out. He tried to play it cool by putting on his sunglasses.

Whatever. We all know this was a publicity stunt. But seriously, good on Zac for thinking he’s going to get some right after The Lorax premiere. 14-year-olds are so easy. Amirite? Guys?

What’s the point in recapturing your youth if you don’t have a 20-something boyfriend to share in your whip-its and K2 Spice?

A report by Us Weekly says Demi Moore has been surrounding herself with young people to make herself feel better. Among her favorites is Zac Efron, her daughter’s good friend.

“She’s been mixing pills and Red Bulls, among other things,” another source says.
One of Moore’s favorite young stars to party with — and flirt with — is daughter Rumer Willis’s longtime friend Zac Efron, 24, a hunk nine years younger than Kutcher, 33.
A wired, gaunt Moore “tracked down” the High School Musical star at a party in L.A.’s Venice neighborhood, an insider tells Us. “She seemed out of her mind at this party.” Us Weekly

I hope Demi didn’t lick her fingers and rub her nipples to try and seduce Zac Efron. Because that’s my move.

Ashley Tisdale hit up Malibu for July 4th weekend. She spent time there being boring and plain. The most exciting she did was hoist herself up on Zac Efron’s shoulders.

Geez, I hope he’s not banging her. Going from Vanessa Hudgens to Ashley Tisdale is like going from a Lambo to a shopping cart. It’s a horrible feeling. Just ask Tara Reid.

Lending credence to that hookup rumor posted yesterday where Candice Swanepoel was said to have blown Zac Efron at the Roxbury, here are new photos of Zac and Candice out on a date at the Plan B concert last night at El Ray Theater in LA. Candice even tried hiding in the back seat as the two drove away. I guess she doesn’t want her Russian model boyfriend finding out. That or she’s taking her panties off. I’d like to think it’s the second one.

Updated note: I was going off the description PCN Photos gave of the blonde in the car. I assumed their photogs would have recognized the girl but they may be wrong and that may just be a random blonde.

I’m terrible at writing blind items so instead, here’s a game called Fact or Fiction. If I have to tell you how this game works, you may as well stop reading and continue to fill out that janitor application.

Today’s rumor comes from a tipster who says Zac Efron hooked up with Victoria’s Secret model Candice Swanepoel. Actually, they say she blew him in front of a bunch of dudes. Wait, what?

Last March, Zac was spotted with a “mystery blond” at Roxbury. They were both cuddling in a booth with a bottle of tequila and eventually left together at 2 a.m. The tipster alleges the mystery blond was Candice Swanepoel who met Zac for the first time that night.

They were introduced by a mutual friend. They started talking and drinking and then a few hours later, once he had wined and dined her at the nightclub, they went into a VIP room and she started, how can I put this, orally servicing him in front of quite a few male and female friends. They then left the club and went to her house and continued their escapade.

Now it’s time to play fact or fiction. Unless a little more proof comes out, here’s why I think it’s fiction: First, dude, it’s Zac Efron. Come on. Second, yea, the club may have been dark but I think at least someone would have noticed a hot chick bobbing up and down on Zac Efron’s junk. That’s, like, the first thing I look for when I step into a club. What? Don’t you? Granted, stranger things have happened. Case in point, Cash Warren and Jessica Alba.

Update: Probably not. E! News says the girl was Laura New, a friend of Zac’s and Vanessa’s. Blondes all look alike apparently.

If any of you have tips, send them in to tips @ theblemish . com.

The National Enquirer is bringing it today. First with leaked photos of Whitney Houston’s daughter doing coke and now with allegations that Zac Efron came out of the closet during an NBA party at the W Hotel. The Enquirer claims Zac and a “buff young man” were openly flirting at the industry party and at one point even holding hands. Not only that but Vanessa Hudgens was there and she didn’t even care.

“‘I was shocked at how relaxed and open Zac was with this guy,’ continued the fellow partygoer. ‘He walked around talking to him, smiling and holding his hand right in front of everyone, including Vanessa. People were wondering if maybe it was a stunt to make Vanessa jealous. But truthfully, Zac really seemed into the guy.’”

And if Vanessa minded, she certainly didn’t let on. She and Zac exchanged a warm greeting, and then she spent the remainder of the evening with her girlfriends, while Zac kept his attention on his male friend.

“It was bizarre,” added the eyewitness. Zac has long been the target of Internet speculation about his sexuality – and Zac has always laughed off the rumors.

“That night at the party, Zac and Vanessa clearly weren’t together,” added the eyewitness. “But they still seem like friends.”

The only way anyone believes what the Enquirer publishes is if they publish photos to go along with it. This is just rumor and conjecture for now. But if you really want the truth, go up to Zac and start yelling at him “gay gay gay gay gay gay” over and over again. Not sure what that will prove, but it’s worth a shot. To be honest. I haven’t thought this through.

Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens may have reunited. The two split in early December but Zac has been spending time at Vanessa house. Also, on Friday night at the opening of Eden in Hollywood, Hudgens, in a tight black dress, and Efron “were inseparable all night, dancing, drinking vodka and canoodling.” Another source says they were “constantly touching and kissing each other.”

“Zac sat in between her legs and she wrapped her arms around him,” the onlooker notes. “They were making out on and off for the last hour or so until closing. They acted like there was no one else in the room.”

Further proving that when you have a beard contract with Disney signed in blood, you can’t break it. The only way is to sacrifice a 13-year-old on the alter of Mickey Mouse.

Sad news for those of you obsessed with High School Musical and hoped relationships from the show would spill over into real life. That dream died today as Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens called it quits. Her beard contract apparently ended.

“It’s nothing dramatic,” one source said. “There’s no third party involved.”

Says another source, “They were together for so long. It just ran its course.”

Sources insist they remain friends.

Of course they remain friends. Who else can Vanessa count on to give their honest opinion on her new pair of black pumps or the sequined dress with the plunging neckline she’s planning to wear to the MTV Movie Awards? Zac squealing, “You go girl! Work it!” makes her feel like a million bucks and she’s just not ready to give that up.

So, Details is a gay magazine, right? Because they always have these types of interviews where they mention anus shampooing and ask if the other person is gay. This month they talk to Zac Efron. Here are the takeaways:

Zac Efron is not cool. He is the everyman
Zac Efron is not cool, and this pronouncement is neither an insult nor a revelation to him. His lack of cool has nothing to do with the fact that, as a preadolescent, he lived for community theater or that he tried to get away with wearing a fedora to school at 15. Cool is effortlessness. Efron is all effort.

Zac Efron is to Shia LaBeouf as Tom Cruise is to Sean Penn
Hollywood, like everything else, is just an extension of high school, with the burnouts and the jocks coexisting uneasily. Burnout Sean Penn drinks and smokes too much and will always be cooler than jock Tom Cruise, whom one imagines doing lots of crunches and high-fives. Same with Shia LaBeouf and Zac Efron. LaBeouf seems to give not one shit. He disses Spielberg and flips pickups and just gets bigger; Efron makes appearances at Bar Mitzvahs as favors to industry friends. “I’m so jealous of that,” Efron says of LaBeouf, whom he doesn’t know personally. “Yeah, that’s awesome to not give a shit. And Shia still pulls it off. That’s so cool. It’s just awesome. It just comes easy to some people.”

Tom Cruise is actually a pretty nice guy
Hollywood’s upperclassmen have shown how they feel about this freshman. Penn, upon meeting Efron, reportedly said exactly two words to him: Go skydiving. But Cruise recently flagged Efron down in the lobby of CAA. “You ride motorcycles?” Cruise asked him. Alas, he didn’t. “You wanna learn how?” Cruise invited him out to his house, taught him how a motorcycle engine works, showed him the hangar with his dozens of pristine bikes—including the Triumphs he rode in the Mission: Impossible movies. Efron was allowed to ride a pedigree-less dirt bike. “He made so many great movies,” Efron says of Cruise. “I get the feeling that he works really, really hard. It didn’t come from swagger with him. It came from dedication, hard work. You see it in the way he physicalizes everything. You watch The Last Samurai and that’s him! He’s really doing that.” I ask Efron why he supposes Cruise bothered reaching out to him. “I don’t know,” he says. “I don’t even want to know. It’s just so cool that he gave a shit, the fact that he cared at all. No one else did that.”

Something gay always happens in a Details interview
“Oh…my…God,” Efron says with a gasp. “It’s like the best…orgasm…ever! And I just keep coming!” Efron and I are in the Soho House bathroom after a pee, and he’s lingering at the sink, letting the water pour over his diseased wrists. When he got up to head to the john, I noticed that his pants were fully unbuttoned and unzipped. “I’m just airing it out,” he’d said. “It just itches too much.” Discipline and doctor’s orders had kept the impulse to scratch at bay.

Vanessa Hudgens likes to get her anus shampooed
Here in the bathroom, the topic of other bathrooms comes up, specifically the Japanese one at the famous Los Angeles sushi place Matsuhisa, which has a bidet-like contraption that will essentially shampoo your anus. “Yeah, Vanessa has one of those,” he says, speaking for the first time of his girlfriend of five years, High School Musical costar Vanessa Hudgens, who had dropped him off tonight.

Zac Efron on why he’s not swimming in pussy (hint: he’s just not that type of guy, *swoon*)
By now the Lakers are well on their way to winning the game and the bottle of Cab is gone, not more than a quarter of it consumed by Efron himself, which may explain the coarse phrasing of my suggestion that now might be the time for him to immerse himself in the company of more than one lady friend. “Bathe in pussy?” he repeats. “Yeah, everyone tells me that. I think a lot of guys would enjoy that. But I’m not really like that.” I point out that he does not know if he would enjoy this or not, since he has never been famous and single. “Believe me,” he says. “I rack my brain thinking, ‘Why am I not out there playing the field?’ One of my buddies was like, ‘You have no idea what’s going on right now. You’re peaking on Ecstasy and you’re watching TV.’ But it’s not in my heart.”

The rumors about Vanessa Hudgens being Zac’s beard were started by the media
In person, by the way, nothing about Efron merits even flipping on the gaydar, and those rumors—that his relationship with Hudgens is a business coupling, with Mickey Mouse presiding over the union with a shotgun—seem particularly absurd. “That’s just fucking insane,” he says. “I’ve never even heard of that happening. I don’t even know who I would have been around who would have thought that was even a good idea. It would have been so much easier to call it off a long time ago.” Efron sees it as just wishful thinking by an avaricious gossip industry.

Zac seems like a cool guy but if he wants to stay away from those gay rumors he should talk a little less effusively about Tom Cruise inviting him over to ride bikes, leaving his pants unbuttoned when he knows a guy will walk in on him and stop pretending he doesn’t want to bang a lot of chicks. If this interview were any gayer it’d be all in pink and the intro would just be Zac flamboyantly shouting, “Hiiiii boys!”

Zac Efron’s Charlie St. Cloud premieres this week and, coincidentally, here’s a report that makes him one hundred times more interesting than he usually is. Page Six says Zac and his friends showed up at Flashdancer’s Genetleman’s Club on Broadway Sunday night hours before his movie premiered and stayed until 3 AM blowing around $2,000 on lap dances and vodka.

“Zac came in Sunday night around midnight with Corbin and one other male friend, who paid for everything. They were seated in the VIP lounge behind the main stage. There was only a rail between them and the girls who were dancing.

“They ordered one bottle of Belvedere vodka and were enthralled with the dancers. They were interacting a lot with the girls and reaching out and showering money on them. There were three girls who Zac and his friends particularly liked and they asked to do personal dances at their table.”

The girls were all slim pretty brunettes, a bit like Zac’s girlfriend, Vanessa Hudgens. They were two Americans, called Shannon and Brandi, and a gorgeous Brazilian called Raquel.

“Zac and the boys had a great time and left around 3 a.m. Monday morning.”

I always thought Zac Efron was a robot created by Disney. Like their perfect Ken doll manufactured to mate with their Barbie, in this case, Vanessa Hudgens. Turns out I was wrong. That or they overdid it with the testosterone injections last week.

[Bauer]