Film Drunk found this fantastic picture of Zhang Ziyi’s huge head which further proves my initial suspicion. She might be foreign.

China has put Google and other major web portals on notice. In the country’s latest efforts to lockdown material they consider “destabilizing,” such as pornography and anything criticizing the government, China has warned Google and other such sites that it needs to do more to block these nefarious materials. This will be near impossible since Google and other such sites don’t generate any content, just index it.

The announcement said Google and Baidu, China’s two most heavily used search engines, had failed to take ”efficient” measures after receiving notices from the country’s Internet watchdog that they were providing links to pornographic material.

Google asserted that it abides by Chinese law and does not generate pornographic content.

The statement also criticized popular Web portals Sina and Sohu, as well as a number of video sharing sites and popular online bulletin boards such as Tianya, that it said contain problematic photos, blogs and postings.

Coincidentally, this announcement was released on the same day photos came out of Zhang Ziyi naked at a private beach and almost a year after the whole Edison Chen scandal. But how serious is China about this campaign really? Very. Last year with the Edison Chen drama, they asked the FBI to talk with sites about it. I know this because they called me out of the blue. Of course, they admitted I wasn’t doing anything illegal and just politely talked with me about what was going on (foreign relations, blah, blah), but little did they know everything was already being flushed down the toilet. You’ll never catch me coppers!

International film star, Zhang Ziyi, best known from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and, shudder, Rush Hour 2, ended up at the beach topless with some guy fingering her as seen in these watermarked, low quality pictures.

Ugh, foreigners. Look here little lady. I don’t know how they do it over there in China, but over here in America we don’t stand for these shenanigans. Only one or two blurry shots of you topless? No, this won’t do at all. But, considering your man defiled you in public, I’m willing to let it slide this time.

Oh and it looks like they may have been caught. Hmph, lifeguards always have to ruin the fun. Like that one time I was harpooning seals which was made worse by the fact that I called Tara Reid a seal.

Update: A few higher quality added.

Weinstein Films, in their ever endearing struggle to bring Asian cinema to the US, has enslaved Zhang Ziyi to a 3 picture deal. None of these films are in any way original, but it’s some sort of start.

In Seven Samurai, Zhang wants to play the role of a peasant girl who “hides from bandits in boys clothes.” The next picture they are talking about for her is a live Mulan where she plays a “girl who dresses as a man to do battle in place of her ailing father.”

Either Zhang has an odd fetish or the Weinsteins and Tom Cruise have similar fantasies. No word yet on the third film, but maybe it will be a remake of The Crying Game.

Here she is at the Oscars.

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