Jessica Biel has reasons

Everyone has been seeing pictures of Jessica Biel constantly working out. A normal person would just assume she’s trying to keep in shape. I am not a normal person and I can see through her facade.

Jessica Biel works out in order to carry dead babies in her 20 gallon bag. This conclusion came from scientific analysis that would just go over your head if I try to explain it. That or she needs industrial strength super absorbent pads when she’s on the rag. I prefer the first because the second just ruins the whole fantasy I have for tonight.

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