I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have sex with a woman…who can leg press 900lbs. Would it heighten the pleasure knowing that at any instant, she could crush my ribcage? If I tickled her, would she mule kick me to the ceiling? Had I given her flowers instead of fondling her breasts, would my left nut still be hanging with my right instead of lodged in my bladder? These are the questions I ask myself as I stare longingly at pictures of Jessica Biel walking her dog.
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