In the Big Book of Parenting, I don’t think you’ll find a section on “How to scar your kids for life”. However, if they ever were to start a chapter for that, I’d have the perfect writer for them. Her name is Pamela Anderson and her credentials include scarring her children from conception.
This chapter would include several personal tips from Pam Anderson herself. Tips such as: find the most disgusting mate possible, release sex tape, have children, take children and friends onto boat, find a bikini that shows off your massive breasts, precede to knock over kids’ drinks with said breasts.
One day Pamela is going to have to explain to her kids that the only reason they have friends is because either they or their parents masturbated to her sex tapes or to her Playboy spread. More after the jump.