Ashley Madison is cold

59 year old James Woods finally broke it off with 20 year old Ashley Madison. He realized his mistake after he took Ashley to his brother Michael’s funeral on July 31.

“At the funeral she was concerned about the amount of magazines she was in,” says Woods’ pal Scott Sandler. “Jimmy was on his knees with tears staining his shirt, and she was showing pictures of herself.”

The actor has known Madison, the pal of a golfing buddy, since she was 5. “She’s the anti-Christ,” says Sandler. “She truly has the soul of a moth and the brain of a dead trout.”

I’m sure there were some famous people at the funeral. What better time to show yourself off than at a gathering of stars. Sure your boyfriend is burying his brother, but why does it always have to be about him? James Woods can be such a downer.

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13 years ago

Back together