Jack Nicholson ruins a movie with his penis

Jack Nicholson is too horny for his own good. During filming for The Departed which is, surprise, surprise, a remake of the Asian film Infernal Affairs, he convinced Martin Scorsese to put in a scene of him in a threesome and a strap on.

“I thought it would be more frightening if my character had a sexual component . . . so I called Marty up and said, ‘Look, I just thought of what would be an interesting scene of [my character] having wild sex. And in this scene with two girls, one of the girls is wearing a strap-on’ . . . This was my idea and improvisational, and Marty went for it.”

I’ve seen this movie and nowhere is there a sex scene. Kudos to Jack for already defiling a good movie. His reasoning for a threesome was to make his character more frightening… That’s exactly what someone does to instill fear in people. It’ll scare them shitless. I can’t remember how many times guys have pissed their pants when they’ve caught me sandwiched between two strippers.

The only way I would be frightened is if Jack did full nudity and I found out at that instant I couldn’t move my legs because they were asleep. I’d probably start screaming like an 8 year old girl after a boy with cooties kissed me. Cooties are icky.