Famous people have issues

Two “celebrities” had some odd happenings over the weekend. First, Nicole Richie passed out and fell to the floor at Club Hyde Sunday morning. Her friends said not to call 911 and carried her body through the back door. This comes a couple of days after her publicist confirmed that she was going to get help eating. If I was there, I’d help carry her too. They’d be wondering why I’m heaving her into a garbage can, but whatever, I’m a man on a mission.

Lindsay Lohan also acted crazier than usual Sunday morning. Lindsay was spotted in her black Escalade freaking out and talking on her phone.

Then, Lohan called our spy over and told him that two men in a silver Toyota 4Runner — parked behind her — had been following her for the last two hours, trying to “hit” her vehicle. Our spy reports that “she seemed out of it,” that it appeared she’d been out all night, and that she’d clearly been crying, with mascara running down her face. “I’ve called the cops,” said Lindsay of her alleged pursuers. “But the cops can’t catch them.”

The two men in the Toyota were paparazzi. When they started creeping up on her again while snapping pictures, she took off. Uh, oook. Drugs could do that. Or stupidity. She probably went against doctor’s orders and combined both.

Here’s Lindsay in another costume. She’s a maaaniac, maaaaniac.