In other news

Lost is wearing everybody thin. Yet, I still watch it. Is this what an abusive relationship feels like?

Paris Hilton just can’t resist showing her vagina. Those things see more daylight than her hands.

George Clooney was named the new sexiest man alive by People. You’ve won this round George. Just wait till I get a doctor to preform a face transplant ala Face/Off. Guess who’s “donating” their face to me? You! Cackle Cackle.

Victoria’s Secret is coming. Yes folks, it’s that time of year again. On Dec. 5 you will be treated to the biggest tease since your sister.

Katie Holmes spent $3k on lingerie. Tom Cruise probably spent the same amount on some golden vibrator to share. Oh, when worlds collide.

Tom Cruise can’t fit into his tux. What a fatty. Maybe he can get gastric bypass surgery.

Sharon Stone is old. Get the cross. Get it, get it. Where’s my damn silver bullet. Ahh!

A.C. Slater showed early signs of making it to the final round of Dancing With Stars. Who dares question his masculinity now?!

Victoria Beckham doesn’t like Snoop Dogg. Loser.

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