Things should be running smoothly now. I have used my superior intellect to enable caching on this site so my host doesn’t complain about hogging up resources. Also, I’m looking for a new host. One that will tell me how to reverse what they did instead of me figuring it out on my own. Fun for the first hour, not so fun the next four. I also rewrote/wrote some custom WordPress scripts so even the pages those served up should be cached. I say to you people, bring it on. BRING. IT. ON.