The Britney sex tape doesn’t exist

Paris and Britney

TMZ discovered that Britney and Kevin will release a joint statement today denying the existence of an alleged a sex tape. This is a result from news that Kevin was in talks with a porn mogul to distribute the tape at $30 a pop and also after claims that Britney would release the sex tape for free.

That’s too bad. I always wanted to know if Kevin is as ridiculous in bed as he is in real life. Another question that would have been answered is if laughter actually followed his every move. As always, America refuses to address people’s most serious queries.

Kevin’s (idiot’s) release:

There is not a sex video of Kevin and Britney in existence. It goes without saying that the stories of Kevin attempting to sell such a video are patently false and anyone who reports that they have information of such attempts is either lying or reporting the lie of someone else. It would be impossible to comment upon and correct all of the other misinformation about Kevin that appears on a daily basis and consequently no attempt has been made, or will be made, to do so. I hope that the public and media will keep this in mind before assuming accuracy of facts from Kevin’s silence.

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Britneys extensions look like shit. Paris must be trying to help her through her divorce. In my oppinion, paris should date K-Fed. They are on the same level of sleeziness. Britney should drop the extensions and release the sex tape. You can only go up from here.


Don’t you know? Britney’s bringing sleazy back.


Americans finally realize the try-before-you-buy works just as well with sex as it does with commodities. Rather than marrying and then shacking up with hot sex coming after the nuptuals, Americans are increasingly putting out before putting on the wedding rings.Women are just as likely as men to get it on before matrimony.
I think this is just the sign of the times. I mean, we like to test things, try them out, before making a purchase. Why should sex and marriage be any different? The stigma associated with pre-marital sex is dead. Long live free love!

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